FW: Airport Security Solved

February 19, 2010

FW: Airport Security Solved

Good American ingenuity...

Here’s a solution to all the controversy over
full-body scanners.

Have a booth that you can step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on you.

The chamber could be reinforced sufficiently to withstand a blast, but just getting the word out should take
care of the problem.

And this solution would be cheaper to install in airports
around the world.

This would be a win-win for everyone.

~From a pilot


Anonymous said...

While we're at it, let's also invent teleporters so we don't have to deal with airline comfort.

Celia said...

I don't even know what to say.

ferschitz said...

I vote for the teleporters!! WOW, great idea (really). I've always said I want one of the "beam me up, Scotty" thingamagigs. I mean, if we're going out into fantasy land, why go with bomb proof booths?

You go, Anon!

Celia said...

Can I magic myself £50m from the same place as this airport device, so I can be obscenely wealthy and build a big gay castle? I think that would help defeat the terrorists, somehow.

Anonymous said...

I think pilots used to be smarter

Marc with a C said...

And how would that have stopped 9/11? Oh right. It wouldn't have.

D. Sidhe said...

If a terrorist is walking onto a plane with a bomb on his person, I think we can safely assume he's willing to die anyway. So, hey, if the magic box detonates him, no real loss, he's still a martyr, but if it doesn't, he gets to take down a plane. Win-win from someone else's perspective, I guess.

Of course, our hypothetical terrorist could just start putting explosive materials in other passengers' pockets. It's not as efficient a method of terrorism as taking down a whole plane, but the fact that the state you're trying to terrorize helps you terrorize its own citizens would probably be pretty satisfying.

I suppose I'd marginally rather risk the high likelihood of bored security personnel misusing the body scan technology than I would the presumably lower possibility of the magic detonation box killing me by mistake, which I assume is the author's point.

Tootseye said...

I hope I never have to fly on a plane where this alleged "pilot" is the actual pilot.

However, perhaps all those forwarding this nonsense should get to fly on planes flown by pilots as idiotic as this. It would be fate richly deserved.

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