Showing posts with label CAPITAL PUNISHMENT. Show all posts
Showing posts with label CAPITAL PUNISHMENT. Show all posts

Fw: I voted Democrat because....


Subject: FW: I voted Democrat because....




I voted Democrat because


I love the fact that I can now marry
whatever I want.
I've decided to marry my horse.

I voted Democrat because
I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are
obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas
at 15% isn't.

I voted Democrat because
I believe the government will do a better job of
spending the money I earn than I would.

I voted Democrat because
Freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

I voted Democrat because
When we pull out of Iraq
I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're good people.

I voted Democrat because
I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

I voted Democrat because
I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away In ten years if
I don't start driving a Prius.
>
I voted Democrat because
I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

I voted Democrat because
I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as THEY see fit.

I voted Democrat because
I believe liberal judges need to rewrite The Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.
>
I voted Democrat because
My head is so firmly planted up my ass that it is unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.

"A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own."

FW: 22 WAYS TO BE A GOOD DEMOCRAT

Thanks to John and his "Not-A-Democrat Brother-in-Law" we have a new 22 point list to ponder. Up four points from the last list Democrats must follow. I especially like point 18, given the GOP's history of sex scandals.


--begin forwarded message--


Food for thought!

22 WAYS TO BE A GOOD DEMOCRAT

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but
support abortion on demand.

2. You have to believe that businesses create
oppression and governments create prosperity.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law- abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S.
nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese
and North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are
less affected by documented cyclical changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms
driving SUV's.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread
by a lack of federal funding.

8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified
to teach those same kids about sex.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been
outside of San Francisco do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more
important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25
million of his own money to make "The Passion of
the Christ" for financial gain only.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it
supports certain parts of the Constitution, while
the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts
of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but
ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and
Gloria Steinem are more important to American history
than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and A.G. Bell.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal
and is a very nice person.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the
truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades
displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should
be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the
best interest to the United States.

21. You have to believe that this message is a part
of a vast, right wing conspiracy.

22. You have to believe that it's okay to give Federal workers the day off on Christmas Day but it's not okay
to say "Merry Christmas."

Ready to vote???

Fwd: FW: 18 WAYS TO BE A GOOD LIBERAL

Subject: 18 WAYS TO BE A GOOD LIBERAL

18 WAYS TO BE A GOOD LIBERAL

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand
2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more of a threat than US nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but PETA activists do.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
17. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens and ! transves tites should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
18. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right-wing conspiracy.

 
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