Apple iPhone Feverishness

Check out the lines outside the Soho Apple store. Crazy.

I just wanted to check out the 13.5" MacBooks, but the black-shirted security team informed me that even non-iPhone customers must head around the block to join the insanity circus of a line.

Apple said their NYC locations will open at 6 PM, to remain open 'till midnight.

Here's an ATT store I passed on Broadway earlier.

FW: Rules for the Non Military

[Have you noticed a subtle rise of fascism in your in-box? Me too. I think I may...SHUT UP!, Top Chef Season 3 is on, just read this recent email and ponder your favorite techniques of instilling fear and obedience into your FW Friends and Family.]

Rules for the Non Military

Dear Civilians, 'We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation has many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military. For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas where we would like your assistance:

The next time you see an adult talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of the National Anthem---kick their ass.

When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in protest---kick their ass.

Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass.

(GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs) or Jungle Fatigues, telling others that you used to be 'Special Forces,' and collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have been okay when you were seven years old. Now, it will only make you look stupid and get your ass kicked.

Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them, 'Do you fly a jet?' Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance deserves an ass-kicking (children are exempt).

If you witness someone calling the US Coast Guard 'non-military', inform them of their mistake---and kick their ass.

Next time Old Glory (the US flag) prances by during a parade, get on your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your heart. Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying her---of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe ass-kicking.

Don't try to discuss politics with a military member or a veteran. We are Americans, and we all bleed the same, regardless of our party affiliation. Our Chain of Command is to include our Commander-In-Chief (CinC). The President (for those who didn't know) is our CinC regardless of political party. We have no inside track on what happens inside those big important buildings where all those representatives meet All we know is that when those civilian representatives screw up the situation, they call upon the military to go straighten it out. If you keep asking us the same stupid questions repeatedly, you will get your ass kicked!

'Your mama wears combat boots' never made sense to me---stop saying it! If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore, could kick your ass!

Bin Laden and the Taliban are not Communists, so stop saying 'Let's go kill those Commies!' And stop asking us where he is! Crystal balls are not standard issue in the military. That reminds me---if you see anyone calling those damn psychic phone numbers, let me know, so I can go kick their ass!

'Flyboy' (Air Force), 'Jarhead' (Marines), 'Grunt' (Army), 'Squid' (Navy), 'Puddle Jumpers' (Coast Guard), etc., are terms of endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a service member or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. That could get your ass kicked.

Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please remember that there are literally thousands of soldiers, sailors, marines and airmen far from home wishing they could be with their families. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every day. Without them, our country would get it's ass kicked.'

'It is the Veteran, not the reporter who has given us the freedom of the press.

'It is the Veteran, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech.

It is the Veteran, not the campus organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate.

'It is the Military who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag.'

(Please pass this on so I won't have to kick your ass!) :-) 'If you can read this, thank a teacher' If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran '

I will add one more:

13. If you ever see anyone either standing for or singing the national anthem in Spanish - KICK THEIR ASS.

FW: Redneck Vasectomy

[Oh. FYI: This is racist, in the innocent, hand on the cheek style. I debated about posting this, but figured it's important to examine the excreta passed from zealot to zealot. Comments?]

This is scary....... Ain't it?
Redneck Vasectomy

A West Virginia couple, both bona fide rednecks, had 9 children.

They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed".

The doctor gladly started the required procedure and asked them
"what finally made them make the decision - why after nine
Children, would they choose to do this."

The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one
Out of every 10 children being born in the United States was
Mexican, and they didn't want to take a chance on having a Mexican
Baby because neither of them could speak Spanish...

FW: Cheslea Clinton's conversation with a soldier....

[Huh! Huh! Huh.. If it rhymes, then it's funny. Right?]

Then there was the soldier who was talking to Chelsea Clinton.

She asked him how he felt about fear. He told her there were only 3 things he was afraid of.........

1) Osama

2) Obama

3) and Yo Mama


[Ok, the dismayed elderly couple shake their heads "sadly"? This can't be made-up.]

----- Original Message -----

Today I went to visit the new World War II Memorial in Washington, DC I got an unexpected history lesson Because I
am a baby boomer, I was one of the youngest in the crowd. Most were the age of my parents, Veterans of "the greatest war," with their families. It was a beautiful day, and people were smiling and happy to be there. Hundreds of us milled around the memorial, reading the inspiring words of Eisenhower and Truman that are engraved there.
On the Pacific side of the memorial, a group of us gathered to read the words President Roosevelt used to announce the attack on Pearl Harbor: Yesterday, December 7, 1941-- a date which will live in infamy--the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked.
One elderly woman read the words aloud:
"With confidence in our armed forces, with the abounding determination of
our people, we will gain the inevitable triumph."
But as she read, she was suddenly turned angry. "Wait a minute," she said,
"they left out the end of the quote.. They left out the most important part
Roosevelt ended the message with "so help us God."
Her husband said, "You are probably right. We're not supposed to say thing
s like that now."
"I know I'm right," she insisted. "I remember the speech." The two looked
dismayed, shook their heads sadly and walked away.
Listening to their conversation, I thought to myself,Well, it has been over 50 years she's probably forgotten."=20
But she had not forgotten. She was right.
I went home and pulled out the book my book club is reading --- "Flags of
Our Fathers" by James Bradley. It's all about the battle at Iwo Jima
I haven't gotten too far in the book. It's tough to read because it's a graphic description of the WWII battles in the Pacific.
But right there it was on page 58. Roosevelt's speech to the nation ends in " so help us God "
The people who edited out that part of the speech when they engraved it on
the memorial could have fooled me. I was born after the war.! But they couldn't fool the people who were there. Roosevelt's words are engraved on their hearts.
Send this around to your friends People need to know before everyone forgets. People today are trying to change the history of America by leaving God out of it, but the truth is, God has been a part of this nation, since the beginning. He still wants to be...and He always will be!
If you agree, pass this on. If not,
May God Bless YOU!

Fwd: Frogs very very special...please pass this on and make someone smile!

[ Here's a saccharine note of encouragement from MRWD reader Tresy, who said, "No wonder the wingnuts like this story. Why, the frog is just like Bush! Except, you know, for the way the story turns out."]

[..Another gracious recipient down the FW list said, "Please GOD put your arms around my shoulders and your hand over my mouth."]

----- Original Message ----

Wait a sec...then scroll
[won't work]
I love the music and the message is exceptional.

Once upon a time there was a bunch of tiny frogs....
Who arranged a running competition.

The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower.

A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see
the race and cheer on the contestants....

The race began....

Honestly,no one in crowd really believed that the
tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower.

You heard statements such as:

"Oh, WAY too difficult!!"

"They will NEVER make it to the top."


"Not a chance that they will succeed.
The tower is too high!"

The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one....

Except for those, who in a fresh tempo, were
climbing higher and higher....

The crowd continued to yell,

"It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!"

More tiny frogs got tired and gave up....

But ONE continued higher and
higher and higher....

This one wouldn't give up!

At the end everyone else had given up climbing
the tower. Except for the one tiny frog who,
after a big effort, was the only one
who reached the top!

THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally
wanted to know how this one
frog managed to do it?

A contestant asked the tiny frog how
he had found the strength to
succeed and reach the goal?

It turned out....

That the winner was DEAF!!!!

The wisdom of this story is:

Never listen to other people's tendencies
to be
negative or pessimistic....

Because they take your most wonderful
dreams and wishes away from you
-- the ones you have in your heart!

Always think of the power words have.

Because everything you hear and
read will affect your actions!


ALWAYS be....


And above all:

Be DEAF when people tell
that you cannot fulfill your dreams!

Always think:

God and I can do this!

Pass this message on to 5
"tiny frogs"
you care about.

Give them some motivation!!!

Most people walk in and out of your life....
..but FRIENDS leave footprints in your heart

In two days tomorrow
will be yesterday.
Today is no special day and
I have no particular reason for writing to you...

I have no news to tell you.... Nor any problems
to discuss with you....
Or gossip to tell you...
It's only one of those happy moments...
When I thought of you...
And I would like to
share these thoughts with you...


To The World You Might Be One Person; But To
One Person You Might Be the World.

You have been Tagged by the Froggy,

which means you are a
great friend!!

If you fall down 10 times,
Stand up 11.

FW: Australian Gun Law Update

Australian Gun Law Update

Here's a thought to warm some of your hearts... from: Ed Chenel, A police officer in Australia

Hi Yanks, I thought you all would like to see the real figures from Down Under.

It has now been 12 months since gun owners in Australia were forced by a new law to surrender 640,381 personal firearms to be destroyed by our own government, a program costing Australia taxpayers more than $500 million dollars.

The first year results are now in: Australia-wide, homicides are up 6.2 percent, Australia-wide, assaults are up 9.6 percent ;

Australia-wide, armed robberies are up 44 percent (yes, 44 percent)!

In the state of Victoria alone, homicides with firearms are now up 300 percent.

(Note that while the law-abiding citizens turned them in, the criminals did not and criminals still possess their guns!)

While figures over the previous 25 years showed a steady decrease in armed robbery with firearms, this has changed drastically upward in the past 12 months, since the criminals now are guaranteed that their prey is unarmed.

There has also been a dramatic increase in break-ins and assaults of the elderly, while the resident is at home.

Australian politicians are at a loss to explain how public safety has decreased, after such monumental effort and expense was expended in "successfully ridding Australian society of guns." You won't see this on the American evening news or hear your governor or members of the State Assembly disseminating this information.

The Australian experience speaks for itself. Guns in the hands of honest citizens save lives and property and, yes, gun-control laws affect only the law-abiding citizens. Take note Americans, before it's too late!




Fw: Those sneaky Marines

[ It looks like we have another madcap antic from our rascally Marines. Thanks Tresy for the forward. Enjoy the closing line... ]


Look Close......

If a Muslim sees a naked woman --- they are supposed to kill themselves. Ya got to love the Marines. If you don't stand behind our troops, please feel free to stand in front of them

FW: Some Good Zingers

If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famous erudite scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates."

Here are some of his gems:

"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize."

"Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back."

"Half the people you know are below average."

"99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name."

"42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot."

"A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good."

"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."

"If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."

"All those who believe in psycho-kinetics, raise my hand."

"The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

"I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met."

"OK, so what 's the speed of dark?"

"How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?"

"If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something."

"Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm."

"When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane."

"Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now."

"If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?"

"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."

"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?"

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

"Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?"

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

"A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking."

"Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it."

"The hardness of the butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread."

"To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research."

"The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard."

"The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up."

....and an all-time favorite:

"I intend to live forever; so far, so good."

FW: Things your cell phone CAN do???

Can't personally vouch for the validity of everything here but whoever wrote this seems to know what they are talking about. Maybe something here that will truly be of value.....


There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies. Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival. Check out the things that you can do with it:

Subject: Emergency
The Emergency Number worldwide for
Mobile is 112.
If you find yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile; network and
there is an emergency, dial 112
and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency
number for you, and interestingly
this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. Try it out.

Subject: Have you locked your keys in the car?
Does your car have remote keyless entry? This may come in handy someday.
Good reason to own a cell phone:

If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call
someone at home on their cell phone from your
cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have
the person at your home press the unlock
button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will
unlock. Saves someone from having to drive
your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles
away, and if you can reach someone who

has the other "remote" for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the
Editor's Note: It works fine! We tried it out and it unlocked our car over
a cell phone!"

Subject: Hidden
Battery Power
Imagine your cell battery is very low. To activate, press the keys *3370#
Your cell will restart with this reserve
and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will
get charged when you charge your cell
next time.

How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?
To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following digits on
your phone: * # 0 6 #
A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your
handset. Write it down and keep it
somewhere safe. When your phone get stolen, you can phone your service
provider and give them this code.
They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes
the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless.
You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever
stole it can't use/sell it either.
If everybody does this, there wo uld be no point in people stealing mobile
And Finally....

Cell phone companies are charging us $1.00 to $1.75 or more for 411
information calls when they don't have to.
Most of us do not carry a telephone directory in our vehicle, which makes
this situation even more of a
problem. When you need to use the 411 information option, simply dial:
(800) FREE 411, or (800) 373-3411 without
incurring any charge at all. Program this into your cell phone now.

This is the kind of information people don't mind receiving, so pass it on
to your family and friends.

FW: Cops can be witty

The following 15 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country.

#15. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

#14. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

#11. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

#10. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

#9. "Warning! You want a warning? O. K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

#6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5. "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4. "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

#3. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

#2. "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

The envelope please...


#1. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

------ End of Forwarded Message

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