Fwd: Fw:

Contributor's note: Note the "coincidence" that with the exception of Bernie Sanders, Socialist, everyone listed is a Democrat.

A Washington DC airport ticket agency offers examples of why the USA is in trouble:

1) I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)

2) I got a call from a Kansas Congress man's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts.''

Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa...''

His response -- click.

3) A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.

He replied, 'Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!''

4) I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada?''

I said, ''No.''

She said, ''But they look so close on the map!''

5) An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time!''

6) An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.

I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that...

7) A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag, so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?''
I said, "No, why do you ask?"

He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''

After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, California, is FAT (Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.

8) A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a package trip to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?''

9) I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright from Alabama, who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''

I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them...''

10) Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''

I asked if she meant: fly to Pensacola, get on a commuter plane?

She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''

11) Senator Mary Landrieu called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa.
"Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.''

I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''

12) A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York.. .''

I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''

'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.

After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."

''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!''

So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo, do you?''

The reply: ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal!''

Now you know why the US Government is in the shape it's in! Could anyone be this DUMB


gruaud said...

Snopes: utterly FALSE.

What a surprise.

Only Republicans can be this stupid.

Anonymous said...

Somebody said that some guy who works for some "airport ticket agency" said it was true and that he'd experienced it all first-hand, so it must have happened!

(Also...don't you call either an AIRLINE or a TRAVEL AGENCY for tickets? As opposed to the "airport ticket agency", which I've never heard of?)

Celia said...

I have read this one before, without names.

I don't know why people think that taking internet jokes and memes so popular they make it into a compilation book of internet jokes and memes and changing them so that they bear names to prove some dumbass political point is a good idea. I look forward to someone trying to convince their contacts list that the "cupholder" person was a Democratic party politician.

Anonymous said...

DOI! Yeah, ha ha, I laughed so hard at the dumbness of dimocrats.

FAIL. I've seen most of these several times before w/Republicans in the "dumb seat." Whatever. Dull "jokes" like this make the rounds.

It's only an eye-rolling moment if idiots believe it.

Anonymous said...

I have also seen versions of this, where it was a list of the dumbest things that travel agents have heard from customers. The stupid questions weren't attributed to politicians, so they may have actually happened.

Trust the righties, though, to include the final ON NOES WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!111!!! quote:

"Now you know why the US Government is in the shape it's in! Could anyone be this DUMB"

Just can't leave well enough alone. The answer to the final "question" is: yes, YOU are this dumb.

Hibryd said...

Isn't absolutely amazing that all these busy congressmen and -women called in to book their own plane tickets? Man, I'd thought they'd have assistants or something!

Unknown said...

wow. All those congress people and assistants called THE SAME GUY???

It's almost too impossible to be true!

Oh, wait.

katz said...

These are a mish-mash of possibly-true anecdotes and jokes. I've seen most of them before. Notice how the humor drains out of them when you put real names on them?

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