Fwd: FW: Muslims (Jeff Foxworthy)

 Muslims (Jeff Foxworthy)

You gotta love Jeff
Oops, Can I say that?
Have you ever wondered why it's OK to make jokes about Catholics, the Pope, Jews, Christians, the Irish, the Italians, the Polish, the Chinese, the French (including French Canadians), the elderly, bad golfers, etc., but it’s insensitive to make jokes about Muslims?  We need to level the playing field for the sake of political correctness...

Jeff Foxworthy on Muslims:
1. If you refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor,
You may be a Muslim.
2. If you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes,
You may be a Muslim.
3. If you have more wives than teeth,
You may be a Muslim.
4. If you wipe your butt with your bare hand but consider bacon to be unclean,
You may be a Muslim.
5. If you think vests come in two styles: Bullet-proof and suicide. 
You may be a Muslim.
6. If you can't think of anyone you haven't declared jihad against,
You may be a Muslim.
7. If you consider television dangerous but routinely carry explosives in your clothing,
You may be a Muslim.
8. If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs,
You may be a Muslim.
9. If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four,
You may be a Muslim.
10. If you find this offensive and don't forward it,
You may be a Muslim.

Fwd: FW: The New 911 Response

One more thing to worry about in this crazy mixed up world.
Coming soon to a police department in your area.

FW: Another capitalist

A union boss walks into a bar next door to the factory and is about to order
a drink to celebrate Obama's victory when he sees a guy close by wearing a
Romney for President button and two beers in front of him. He doesn't have
to be an Einstein to know that this guy is a Republican.

So, he shouts over to the bartender so loudly that everyone can hear,
"Drinks for everyone in here, bartender, but not for the Republican."

Soon after the drinks have been handed out, the Republican gives him a big
smile, waves at him, then says, "Thank you!" in an equally loud voice. This
infuriates the union boss.

The union boss once again loudly orders drinks for everyone except the
Republican. As before, this does not seem to bother the Republican. He
continues to smile, and again yells, "Thank you!"

The union boss once again loudly orders drinks for everyone except the
Republican. As before, this does not seem to bother the Republican. He
continues to smile, and again yells, "Thank you!"

The union boss asks the bartender, "What the hell is the matter with that
Republican? I've ordered three rounds of drinks for everyone in the bar but
him, and all the silly ass does is smile and thanks me.  Is he nuts?"

"Nope," replies the bartender. "He owns the place."

Marines ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Semper Fi....Marines ROCK!!!!!!!!!


Fw: The Truth!!

Subject: The Truth!!
Date: Fri, 20 Feb 2015 09:04:36 +0000

Fwd: Fw: Still a Mystery?

Curator Note: This is a rehash of this forward Fwd: Fw: Why did she lose but with pictures.  My favorite is the first one, with the New York Time stating "Trump Wins in Landslide".  I both missed that headline and the landslide.

A more inclusive list of probable causes then previously reported.  Is any of this in her book?
I'm Still Trying To Figure Out How Hillary Lost The Election!
Was it the Russian Uranium Deal?
Was it Wikileaks?
Was it Podesta?
Was it Comey?
Was it having a sexual predator as a husband?
Was it Huma Abedin’s sexual predator husband Anthony Weiner?
Was it because the Clinton Foundation ripped off Haiti?
Was it subpoena violations?
Was it the congressional testimony lies?
Was it the corrupt Clinton Foundation?
Was it the Benghazi fiasco?
Was it pay for play?
Photo Credit InfoWars

Was it being recorded laughing because she got a child rapist off when she was an attorney?
Was it the Travel Gate scandal?
Was it the Whitewater scandal?
Was it the Cattle Gate scandal?
Was it the Trooper-Gate scandal?
Was it the $15 million for Chelsea’s apartment bought with foundation money?
Or her husband’s interference with Loretta Lynch & the investigation?
Or happily accepting the stolen debate questions given to her?
Or her own secret server in her house and disdain for classified information?
Or deleting 30,000 emails?
Or having cell phones destroyed with hammers?
Was it the Seth Rich murder?

Was it the Vince Foster murder?
Was it the Gennifer Flowers assault & settlement?
Was it the $800,000 Paula Jones settlement?
Was it calling half the United States deplorable?
Was it the underhanded treatment of Bernie Sanders?

Was it Bill’s impeachment?
Was it the lie about being under sniper fire in Bosnia?

Was it the $10 million she got for the pardon of Marc Rich?
Or the $6 BILLION she “lost” when in charge of the State Dept.?
Or because she is a hateful, lying, power-hungry, overly ambitious, greedy, nasty person?

Gee I just can’t seem to put my finger on it…
-Author unknown

Fwd: Fw: Yes, Black lives DO matter! Interesting Read....

L. Todd Wood, a graduate of the U.S. Air Force Academy, flew special operations helicopters supporting SEAL Team 6, Delta Force and others. After leaving the military, he pursued his other passion, finance, spending 18 years on Wall Street trading emerging market debt, and later, writing. The first of his many thrillers is "Currency." Todd is a contributor to Fox Business, Newsmax TV, Moscow Times, the New York Post, the National Review, Zero Hedge and others. For more information about L.. Todd Wood, visit LToddWood.com.
By L. Todd Wood - - Tuesday, September 26, 2017
I know of no white person alive today in the United States who has ever legally owned a black slave, or any slave for that matter. Almost 700,000 mostly white men died 160 years ago to end slavery. Jim Crow ended generations ago. Yet black America, for the most part, is still locked in inner-city gang violence and economic hardship. Why?
Is it because America is racist?  Is it because of some overhanging white supremacy?  Is it because of the Illuminati?
No, unfortunately, it is because of black culture and the adoption of Democratic Party government dependency. 
We have just had eight years of the first black president.  Black athletes, and entertainers, routinely earn multi-million dollar incomes.  I can easily name several black billionaires without even trying too hard. A large percentage of black America is very successful. But, it is not enough. Too many black youth are being left behind.
And it is no one but black America’s fault. 
No one can solve this problem but black America.  No one can throw enough money at it.  We’ve tried that.  Black America needs to look in the mirror and stop blaming others, especially white people.
I am obviously white and conservative, and I served in the military, which, during my time, was as color blind as you could be. I can also honestly say I don’t give a damn what color your skin is, neither do any of my friends.  I do care about your actions. 
Blacks are around 15 percent of the population. Depending on what study you look at, they commit around 40 percent to 50 percent of violent crime in America. Of course, there is going to be a problem with police.  And, of course, there are some bad policemen.. However, those bad apples do not kill black people statistically anymore than they kill white people.  Even Harvard said that recently. If you were a cop, and you had to work in a neighborhood infested with crime and murder, wouldn’t you act differently than in a neighborhood where there was little crime? The most effective thing black America could do to improve its relationship with police is to significantly reduce violent crime where they live.  Yes, that means change the culture of where you live and your community. 
I for one am tired of being blamed.  I am tired of dealing with people who only want something from others.  I don’t oppress anyone.  I don’t hold anyone down.  I’m tired of getting on the DC. metro and seeing white people being harassed by roaming gangs of black youth with their pants around their knees.  Yes, you want a white person uncomfortable?  That makes me uncomfortable.  It’s our nation’s capital and it’s embarrassing. 
Blacks have nothing but opportunity in America.  Try finding the same opportunity anywhere else in the world.  If you are born in America you’ve won life’s economic lottery.  Take advantage of it. 
The problem is this generation has been taught an agenda of cultural Marxism by our education system.  They’ve been taught to be a victim, and it’s still going on.  All you have to do is watch the young black, female student at Yale screaming at the college president to understand that.  Blacks in America don’t even know how good they have it. 
Don’t kneel when my anthem is played.  Too many people died for that flag.  You are free to protest but not then.  I am free to not watch, or pay to watch you play if you do that.  The NFL should make it a rule that you stand for the national anthem.  There is no free speech to disobey a private employer on private property.  This would solve the problem immediately.
The NFL has deeply offended most of America.  They will pay an economic and reputational price, as they should.
We have a real cultural problem in this country, the result of the Leftist multicultural agenda.  Multi-ethnicity is perfect and should be encouraged..  Having more than one American culture is destroying the country.  But then again, that is what the Left wants.
Do Black Lives Matter?
It is your job to determine if this is a racist rant or just a review of factual data...
Amount of people in poverty would drop - 34%, 
The prison population would go down by -37%, 
Welfare recipients would go down by - - - 42%, 
Gang members would go down by - - - - - 53% 
Chlamydia cases would go down - - - - - - 54%, 
Homelessness would go down - - - - - - - -57% 
Syphilis would go down  - - - - - - - - - - - - 58%. 
AIDS & HIV would go down by - - - - - - - -65%, 
Gonorrhea would go down - - - - - - - - - - -69%, 
Average ACT scores would go UP - - - - - 5.5 points. 
Average IQ would go UP - - - - - - - - - - - -7.4 points,  putting us 3rd in the world tied with Japan,
Average SAT scores would go UP almost - - - - -100 points, 
The average income for Americans would go UP over $20,000 a year,
And, many criminal defense attorneys would have to find another line of work!
Yes, Black lives DO matter!

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