Fw: The History Lesson

Subject: The History Lesson


The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History.

Who said 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Johnny a bright Navajo Indian boy, who had his hand up: "Patrick Henry, 1775" he said.

"Very good!"

Who said, "Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?"

Again, no response except from Little Johnny, "Abraham Lincoln, 1863".

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed, Little Johnny knows more about history than you do."

She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Indians."

"Who said that?" she demanded.

Little Johnny put his hand up, "General Custer, 1862."

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."

The teacher glares around and asks, "All right!!! Now who said that!?"

Again, Little Johnny says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!" Little Johnny jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher , "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said "You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."

Little Johnny frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him, 2004."

The teacher fainted.

And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh shit, We're screwed!"

Little Johnny said quietly, "The American people, November 4, 2008


Anonymous said...

I'm trying to figure out how the Navajo Indian part factors in. Are the Navajos supposed to be the only people who know American history, while also hating B. Hussein?

Also, how did the minority of people who voted for McCanin suddenly become "the American people"?

I'm so very confused....

bendk said...

Heh, I'm not racist, in fact, I'm 1/16th Cherokee. No, you can't check with my tribe because.. there's a super secret handshake to find out birth records

btw, the date the Navajo kid would have said at the end was April 2nd, 1513. Or October 10, 1492. Or January 1864..

gruaud said...

...or November 7th, 2000.

We may never recover from the damage.

Anonymous said...

Custer didn't start fighting Indians until 1867. 1862 was when the Civil War was ramping up.

bendk said...


1864 was the Navajo's Trail of Tears (The Long Walk)

Anonymous said...

I read that same joke several years ago, only instead of a Navajo Indian, it was a Japanese kid named Suzuki. Also, several of those "quotes" were assigned to other people.

Anonymous said...

Like gruaud, I heard this joke where the punchline was something more like December 22, 2000 (or whatever day it was that the El-Supremes "voted" in the shrub). Definitely another date that will live in infamy.

Some of the other quotes were assigned to different people in that version.

Luba said...

Trail of Tears--Cherokees.

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