1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2.. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in
psychokinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates.
It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.


gruaud said...

Larry's an ok guy and some of those made me
chuckle. But this RWF got me to thinking...the
cons seem to have the loyalty of a sizable group
of good ol' boys.

I may loathe conservatism (a depressingly selfish, intolerant ideology) but there are a couple of things
I have to respect:

1) Their noise machine puts anything done by the fascists during the 30's-40's or the Soviets during
the 20's-80's to shame.

2) They are persistent, relentless battlers.

How they managed to win the support of the Blue
Collars amazes me. They crushed the labor
movement, ground the unions to powder, waged
an eternal scorched Earth retreat against minimum
wage and ruthlessly outsourced jobs.

All while blaming liberalism.

That's just mind-boggling when you reflect on it.

Anonymous said...

Did LTCG actually said ANY of that stuff?

Hibryd said...

"Did LTCG actually said ANY of that stuff?"

Who knows. At best he might have repackaged some circulating turds of "wisdom" into a new list of "his".

For a good long time I thought his proudly stupid schtick was just an act, until he was a call-in guest to the local radio station. I don't think he got a single joke that anyone else made. Even a "Lady and the Tramp" reference went over his head.

ferschitz said...

Feh: LTCG is not my cuppa tea, thanks. Some of this is mildly amusing, but no thanks.

Yes, gruaud, you nail it as always. It is amazing how relentless, tireless and successful these contard bastards have been, esp in getting not just the blue collar types, but even more middle class, white collar types to vote against their own better interests.

Racism has a definite role here, as does the ongoing nonsense about abortion, which the REAL "powers that be" on the right side of the aisle have NO interest in seeing defeated bc it is such a sure thing to get out the vote. The rubes are too stupid (no matter what their education level) to see that they're being manipulated on that issue, amongst others, like the ever-popular: you're being taxed too much meme.

Try to watch a great movie from the 1970s, which touches on these issues, called "Blue Collar" w/Harvey Keitel in it. I think you'll find it quite interesting.

Anonymous said...

Those quotes aren't from Larry the cable guy. They're from Larry from "Newhart". (Remember "Larry, Daryl and his other brother Daryl?)

gruaud said...

ferschitz: 'Blue Collar' is an excellent film.
Probably Richard Pryor's best non-standup movie.

anon: LTCG stole that? Sheesh.

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