Fw: Headlines 2029


Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia,
formerly known as California .

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactiv ity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica
. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Abortion clinics now available in every
High School in United States.

Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.

Problems Posting Comments - Fixed.

Hey RWD guy,
"I tried posting to your blog the other day, but nothing happens when I click the "post comment" link. It's a real shame since i was going to comment on the Democratic Convention forward, since it is the easiest forward in the whole world. My mom has only recently seen the light on these emails, but it's almost a shame she did not sent it earlier. The response would have made her think and as we know, thinking is what cures people of this affliction.

Anyway, back to the link. Doesn't seem to be working, however, I am able to post comments to other blogger blogs. Thought you ought to know.

Thanks Matt. I had no idea why no one was outraged at the latest post. Now I know why. It should be fixed.

Does anyone know why I can't post a graphical header? It says ok and goes through the motions of uploading a header but it never shows up. Sighh.

RE: Presidential Plane

"My right wing Dad sent this, and I was unsure whether to submit it. It's not funny, only racist and mean-spirited. Sadly, it had a ton of forwards. " -Scott

We hear you Scott. I have suffered that same shock and debate at the sight of "hilarious" forwards like these. Click on the "racism" key word below for more examples. What decade is this, anyway?

-------begin embarrassingly racist forward---------

Sent: Sunday, August 24, 2008 8:19 PM
Subject: Presidential Plane



1. Open a new file in your computer.
2. Name it 'Barack Obama'.
3. Send it to the Recycle Bin.
4. Empty the Recycle Bin.
5. Your PC will ask you: 'Do you really want to get rid of 'Barack Obama?'
6. Firmly Click 'Yes.'
7. Feel better? GOOD - Tomorrow we'll do Nancy Pelosi!*


From: $$$$$$$@%%%%%.net]
Sent: 08/21/2008 02:43 PM MST

THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I believe the democrats have suddenly developed a keen sense of morality.
John Edwards has been banned from making a speech at the democratic convention for having an affair and lying about it.

In his place Bill Clinton will be speaking.

Fw: Fwd: Ann's Latest

Here's "Ann's latest" forward. Um. I don't get the point exactly, but enjoy.

------- begin forward ---------

From: ##########@$$$$$$$.com
Sent: 08/16/2008 05:19 PM MST
Subject: Fwd: Ann's Lates

by Ann Coulter
August 13, 2008

The good news: DNA testing has confirmed that John Edwards is not the
father of Rielle Hunter's baby.

The bad news: The father is Bill Clinton.

Ha ha -- just kidding! It's almost impossible to get pregnant by having the
type of sex Bill Clinton prefers.

Also, by now, everyone has heard the news that Edwards' mistress, Rielle
Hunter, has refused to grant a paternity test.

I wonder if Edwards knew that when he was making his chesty offer to take a
paternity test? Edwards gushed to ABC's Bob Woodruff: "I would welcome
participating in a paternity test, be happy to participate in one ... happy
to take a paternity test and would love to see it happen."

As Edwards knows, our paternity laws were written by Gloria Steinem, so if
the mother doesn't want a paternity test, it can't happen. So when Woodruff
asked if he was going to actually take the paternity test soon, Edwards
quickly noted, "I'm only one side of the test."

With Rielle in on the scam, Edwards could boldly demand a paternity test
and then self-righteously defend his mistress's decision to refuse a
paternity test. How dare you gainsay this woman's right to her privacy!
Because if there's one person who's gone the extra mile to keep Hunter from
becoming a public figure, it's John Edwards.

Edwards is closely following the Kennedy model of responding to charges of
misconduct. First, admit only as much as can be currently proved. Second,
get the other party to block any further investigation. I guess he really
is "Kennedy-esque"!

For example, when the cops found DNA on the murdered body of Martha Moxley
in Greenwich, Conn., the Kennedy suspect, Michael Skakel, suddenly
remembered he had been up in a tree that night masturbating! (Talk about a
tree-hugger.) You can see how something like that could slip your mind.

After Teddy Kennedy plunged his car off the Chappaquiddick Bridge with Mary
Jo Kopechne in it and then failed to report the accident for nine hours,
Kennedy admitted he had driven off the bridge -- but said he was in a state
of shock for the next nine hours, preventing him from reporting the
submerged car with a woman trapped in it.

Indeed, Kennedy was so disoriented he was barely able to dream up a highly
unlikely alibi.

The historical parallel to Edwards' pincer move with Rielle Hunter is that
Kennedy ostentatiously demanded a full investigation –- while the Kopechne
family stoutly objected to an autopsy of their daughter.

According to Senatorial Privilege: The Chappaquiddick Cover-up"" by Leo
Damore, the evidence suggested that Kopechne died gasping for breath in the
car while Teddy Kennedy was busy trying to convince various people to say
that they were driving his car.

There were lots of houses nearby with lights on, but Kennedy avoided them
after he escaped from the car, so he could sneak back to his hotel
undetected and begin establishing an alibi. Evidently, Kennedy is better
than Edwards at sneaking into and out of hotels.

If Mary Jo had suffocated, then she had been alive for hours after the car
plunged into the water. But an autopsy was required to determine whether
Kopechne had drowned or suffocated.

Both the coroner and the diver who retrieved Mary Jo's body from the car
believed Mary Jo had suffocated, not drowned. The diver found her body
contorted in the back of the submerged car as if she had been trying to
press her face into the last air pocket in the car. The coroner concluded
there wasn't enough water in Mary Jo's body to indicate a drowning.

But for the first time in Massachusetts history, no autopsy was performed
in a possible manslaughter case. Mary Jo was buried within about an hour of
her body being pulled out of the channel under the Chappaquiddick Bridge.

Naturally, Kennedy wanted a thorough investigation -- to clear his name! --
but the Kopechnes absolutely refused to consent to an autopsy of their
daughter. What more could he do? The Kopechnes' lawyer, Joseph Flanagan,
refused to say who was paying him to fight the autopsy.

Similarly, Edwards aggressively offered to take a paternity test, knowing
that the New Age hippie chick who still thinks she's going to marry him
would not hurt him by allowing a paternity test. Edwards certainly is adept
at reading stupid women, or as his campaign called them, "the base."

Democrats are always claiming to have the Kennedy magic, but, once again,
another Kennedy-wannabe falls short. To be a real Kennedy, John, you have
to kill her.

4520 Main Street, Kansas City, MO 64111

FW: New DRUG now available

(click to enlarge) This one is from my dad. It's sort of old now but we all know the timeless comedic value of Hillary to the Right. Right? -m

---------- begin forward -------------


"Right wingers are bad spellers and worse tippers. Who knew?" -David

------------------ begin forward -----------------------


My husband and I both work hard for what little we have. My husband is brave soldier in the Army and I myself work several jobs. I work as a receptionist for a dentist office and also have my own independant business through Quixtar. In addition, I also work full-time as the proud mother of three wonderful children. Raising them, I have always stressed the importance of living by the rules and having respect for laws. But it is difficult because our society tolerates those who disrespect our rules and mooch off honest taxpayers like ourselves.
Like many Americans, my husband and I are disturbed by the invasion of our country by illegal immigrants who steal the jobs of decent, hard-working Americans. It is easy to feel powerless about this since our government cares more about helping FELONS than my family. But it's not hopeless. I'd like to share an experience my family had that proves there ARE things the average citizen can do to show that we will no longer tolerate Mexican CRIMINALS in our country.
On Sundays, my husband and I take our family out to lunch after church. Our favorite place to go is usually the Applebee's but last weekend, for a change of pace, we decided to go to a Mexican restaurant that recently opened up in the shopping center next to the Home Depot. It did not take long for us to realize that we'd made a mistake...
Besides the food being extremely overpriced (it cost seven dollars for a simple beef and bean burrito!) our waitress could barely speak or understand English. It took almost five minutes for my family to order since we had to repeat what we said several times before she understood. In addition to that, she was very lazy. She was very slow whenever we wanted our chips refilled, and completely ignored us when we asked for medium spicy salsa. All three times, the stuff she gave us was too spicy for ANY person to handle. She seemed to do it just to spite us.
The salsa was in fact so hot that it gave me a stomach ache and I had to go to the restroom even before our food arrived. The door to the kitchen was right by the ladies room and as I was walking past, I noticed that all the workers inside were Mexican and speaking spanish. It also looked filthy in there and I noticed that most of the workers were handling the food with their bare hands and weren't even wearing hair nets! I even saw one of those illegal immigrants scratch their armpit before picking up a tortilla that one of my children could have eaten! My stomach lurched when I saw this.
When I returned from the bathroom, our food had FINALLY arrived, but I could barely eat any of it after the filthy food handling I'd witnessed in the kitchen. It upset me even more to know that even if a health inspector came here, this "restaurant" would be exempt from any fines since it was being run by illegal immigrants.
The bill finally came. The total came out to 52 dollars with the tax. We decided to pay cash since we were afraid of giving these people our credit cards. But when it came to figuring out the tip, I took out my pen and wrote this little note on the back of our bill:
"Our family rewards good service. We usually tip no less than 15%. Since our bill was $52, that would come out to a $7.50 tip for serving my family this Sunday.
"Your service was only so-so, but since you are obviously having problems with our language and I will give you the benefit of the doubt and give you the full 15%...
"However, I will be taking out the $14 million a year our country spends on food stamps, government assisted housing, and welfare benefits to your families...
"...in addition to the $20 million a year you steal from our economy to send to your families in Mexico so they don't have to work...
"...add to that the $10 million a year our school systems have to pay to educate your children, who you refuse to teach English as every immigrant in this country who entered before you has had to..."
"...and also the $200 BILLION in taxes you DON'T have to pay to support all these programs you take advantage of...
"So all told, YOU OWE US $2.5 BILLION dollars.
"But don't worry...we'll accept the $7.50 we were going to tip you as a downpayment on that massive debt. Have a nice day!"
As we left that restaurant, it occured to me that if every American did this, perhaps things could start to change. The restaurant industry is one of the main supporters and beneficiaries of illegal immigration, and if everyone started CHARGING illegals for what they steal from this country, we would send a message that we will no longer pay for their welfare, nor support the dilution of our language and culture.
So please forward this e-mail to everyone in you know. YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

Fwd: Fw: Nobel Peace Prize: WHO REALLY DESERVES IT?!

"Yea, like the reich wingers really care about this outside of an opportunity to smear Gore."

------- Begin Forward -------


A Lady Named Irena

There recently was a death of a 98 year old lady named Irena.

During WWII, Irena, got permission to work in the Warsaw Ghetto, as a
Plumbing/Sewer specialist

She had an ulterior motive...

She KNEW what the Nazi's plans were for the Jews, (being German).

Irena smuggled infants out in the bottom of her tool box she carried, and
she carried in the back of her truck a Burlap sack, (for larger kids).

She also had a dog in the back, that she trained to bark when the Nazi
soldiers let her in, and out of the ghetto

The soldiers of course wanted nothing to do with the dog, and the barking
covered the kids/infants noises.

During her time and course of doing this, she managed to smuggle out and
save 2500 kids/infants.

She was caught, and the Nazi's broke both her legs, and arms, and beat her

Irena kept a record of the names of all the kids she smuggled out, and kept
them in a glass jar, buried under a tree in her back yard

After the war, she tried to locate any parents that may have survived it,
and reunited the family.

Most of course had been gassed.

Those kids she helped got placed into foster family homes, or adopted

Last year Irena was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize....


Al Gore won, for doing a slide show on Global Warming

Fwd: Obama's Not Exactlys...

"Here ya go, Mike... more crap from the right wing. Or, in its native language, "Every real American should read this, it will OPEN YOUR EYES!!!" -Mark in San Jose

Thanks Mark. This just beams with the reputable news reporting we expect from email forwards.

Say, have you noticed a recent trend towards more WURDY emails and less animated crucifixes? The forward machine must have kicked into a higher gear. -Mike

----------- Begin Forward --------------


Tuesday, May 27, 2008 Obama's Not Exactlys

Obama's Not Exactlys:

1.) Selma March Got Me Born - NOT EXACTLY, your parents felt safe enough to have you in 1961 - Selma had no effect on your birth, as Selma was in 1965. (Google 'Obama Selma ' for his full March 4, 2007 speech and articles about its various untruths.)

2.) Father Was A Goat Herder - NOT EXACTLY, he was a privileged, well educated youth, who went on to work with the Kenyan Government.

3.) Father Was A Proud Freedom Fighter - NOT EXACTLY, he was part of one of the most corrupt and violent governments Kenya has ever had.

4.) My Family Has Strong Ties To African Freedom - NOT EXACTLY, your cousin Raila Odinga has created mass violence in attempting to overturn a legitimate election in 2007, in Kenya . It is the first widespread violence in decades. The current government is pro-American but Odinga wants to overthrow it and establish Muslim Sharia law. Your half-brother, Abongo Oba ma, is Odinga's follower. You interrupted your New Hampshire campaigning to speak to Odinga on the phone. Check out the following link for verification of that....and for more.

Obama's cousin Odinga in Kenya ran for president and tried to get Sharia muslim law in place there. When Odinga lost the elections, his followers have burned Christians' homes and then burned men, women and children alive in a Christian church where they took shelter.. Obama SUPPORTED his cousin before the election process here started. Google Obama and Odinga and see what you get. No one wants to know the truth.

5.) My Grandmother Has Always Been A Christian - NOT EXACTLY, she does her daily Salat prayers at 5am according to her own interviews. Not to mention, Christianity wouldn't allow her to have been one of 14 wives to 1 man.

6.) My Name is African Swahili - NOT EXACTLY, your name is Arabic and 'Baraka' (from which Barack came) means 'blessed' in that language. Hussein is also Arabic and so is Obama.

Barack Hussein Obama is not half black. If elected, he would be the first Arab-American President, not the first black President. Barack Hussein Obama is 50% Caucasian from his mother's side and 43.75% Arabic and 6.25% African Negro from his father's side. While Barack Hussein Obama's father was from Kenya , his father's family was mainly Arabs.. Barack Hussein Obama's father was only 12.5% African Negro and 87.5% Arab (his father's birth certificate even states he's Arab, not African Negro). From....and for more....go to.....

7.) I Never Practiced Islam - NOT EXACTLY, you practiced it daily at school, where you were registered as a Muslim and kept that faith for 31 years, until your wife made you change, so you could run for office.

4-3-08 Article 'Obama was 'quite religious in islam'' http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=60559

8.) My School In Indonesia Was Christian - NOT EXACTLY, you were registered as Muslim there and got in trouble in Koranic Studies for making faces (check your own book).

February 28, 2008. Kristoff from the New York Times a year ago: Mr. Obama recalled the opening lines of the Arabic call to prayer, reciting them with a first-rate accent. In a remark that seemed delightfully uncalculated (it'll give Alabama voters heart attacks), Mr. Obama described the call to prayer as 'one of the prettiest sounds on Earth at sunset.' This is just one example of what Pamela is talking about when she says 'Obama's narrative is being altered, enhanced and manipulated to whitewash troubling facts.'

9.) I Was Fluent In Indonesian - NOT EXACTLY, not one teacher says you could speak the language.

10.) Because I Lived In Indonesia , I Have More Foreign Experience - NOT EXACTLY, you were there from the ages of 6 to 10, and couldn't even speak the language. What did you learn except how to study the Koran and watch cartoons.

11.) I Am Stronger On Foreign Affairs - NOT EXACTLY, except for Africa (surprise) and the Middle East (bigger surprise), you have never been anywhere else on the planet and thus have NO experience with our closest allies.

12.) I Blame My Early Drug Use On Ethnic Confusion - NOT EXACTLY, you were quite content in high school to be Barry Obama, no mention of Kenya and no mention of struggle to identify - your classmates said you were just fine

13.)An Ebony Article Moved Me To Run For Office - NOT EXACTLY, Ebony has yet to find the article you mention in your book. It doesn't, and never did, exist.

14.) A Life Magazine Article Changed My Outlook On Life - NOT EXACTLY, Life has yet to find the article you mention in your book. It doesn't, and never did, exist.

15.) I Won't Run On A National Ticket In '08 - NOT EXACTLY, here you are, despite saying, live on TV, that you would not have enough experience by then, and you are all about having experience first.

16.) Voting 'Present' is Common In Illinois Senate - NOT EXACTLY, they are common for YOU, but not many others have 130 NO VOTES.

17.) Oops, I Misvoted - NOT EXACTLY, only when caught by church groups and Democrats, did you beg to change your misvote.

18.) I Was A Professor Of Law - NOT EXACTLY, you were a senior lecturer ON LEAVE.

19.) I Was A Constitutional Lawyer - NOT EXACTLY, you were a senior lecturer ON LEAVE.

20.) Without Me, There Would Be No Ethics Bill - NOT EXACTLY, you didn't write it, introduce it, change it or create it.

21.) The Ethics Bill Was Hard To Pass - NOT EXACTLY, it took just 14 days from start to finish.

22.) I Wrote A Tough Nuclear Bill - NOT EXACTLY, your bill was rejected by your own party for its pandering and lack of all regulation - mainly because of your Nuclear donor, Exelon, from which David Axelrod came.

23.) I Have Released My State Records - NOT EXACTLY, as of March, 2008, state bills you sponsored or voted for have yet to be released, exposing all the special interests pork hidden within.

24.) I Took On The Asbestos Altgeld Gardens Mess - NOT EXACTLY, you were part of a large group of people who remedied Altgeld Gardens . You failed to mention anyone else but yourself, in your books.

25.) My Economics Bill Will Help America - NOT EXACTLY, your 111 economic policies were just combined into a proposal which lost 99-0, and even YOU voted against your own bill.

26.) I Have Been A Bold Leader In Illinois - NOT EXACTLY, even your own supporters claim to have not seen BOLD action on your part.

27.) I Passed 26 Of My Own Bills In One Year - NOT EXACTLY, they were not YOUR bills, but rather handed to you, after their creation by a fellow Senator, to assist you in a future bid for higher office.

28.) No One on my campaign contacted Canada about NAFTA - NOT EXACTLY, the Canadian Government issued the names and a memo of the conversation your campaign had with them.

29.) I Am Tough On Terrorism - NOT EXACTLY, you missed the Iran Resolution vote on terrorism and your good friend Ali Abunimah supports the destruction off Israel .

30.) I Want All Votes To Count - NOT EXACTLY, you said let the delegates decide.

31.) I Want Americans To Decide - NOT EXACTLY, you prefer caucuses that limit the vote, confuse the voters, force a public vote, and only operate during small windows of time.

32.) I passed 900 Bills in the State Senate - NOT EXACTLY, you passed 26, most of which you didn't write yourself.

33.) I Believe In Fairness, Not Tactics - NOT EXACTLY, you used tactics to eliminate Alice Palmer from running against you.

34.) I Don't Take PAC Money - NOT EXACTLY, you take loads of it.

35.) I don't Have Lobbysists - NOT EXACTLY, you have over 47 lobbyists, and counting.

36.) My Campaign Had Nothing To Do With The 1984 Ad - NOT EXACTLY, your own campaign worker made the ad on his Apple in one afternoon.

37.) I Have Always Been Against Iraq - NOT EXACTLY, you weren't in office to vote against it AND you have voted to fund it every single time.

38.) I Have Always Supported Universal Health Care - NOT EXACTLY, your plan leaves us all to pay for the 15,000,000 who don't have to buy it.

39.) My uncle liberated Auschwitz concentration camp - NOT EXACTLY, your mother had no brothers and the Russan army did the liberating.

Fwd: Fw: How True it is!

"More like...how ASININE this is!!"

-------begin forward-------

--- Subject: Think about it...
> The OPEC minister may look you in the eye and say,
> "We are at war with you infidels and have been since
> the embargo in the 1970s. You are so arrogant you
> haven't even recognized it. You have more missiles,
> bombs, and technology; so we are fighting with the
> best weapon we have and extracting on a net basis
> about $700 billion/year out of your economy. We will
> destroy you! Death to the infidels!
> While I am here I would like to thank you for the
> following: Not developing your 250-300 year supply of oil
> shale and tar sands. we know if you did this, it
> would create thousands of jobs for U.S. citizens,
> expand your engineering capabilities, and keep the
> wealth in the U.S. instead of sending it to us to
> finance our war against you infid els.
> Thanks for limiting defense dept. purchases of
> oil sands from your neighbors to the north. We love
> it when you confuse your allies.
> Thanks for over regulating every segment of your
> economy and thus delaying, by decades, the
> development of alternate fuel technologies.
> Thanks for limiting drilling off your coasts, in
> Alaska, and anywhere there is an insect, bird, fish, or
> plant that might be inconvenienced. Better that your
> people suffer. Glad to see our lobbying efforts have
> been so effective.
> Corn based Ethanol. Praise Allah for this sham
> program! Perhaps you will destroy yourself from the
> inside with theses types of policies. This is a gift
> from Allah, praise his name! We never would have
> thought of this one! This is better than when you
> pay your farmers NOT TO GROW FOOD. Have them use
> more energy to create less energy, and
> simultaneously drive up food prices.
> Thank you U.S. Congress!
> And finally, we appreciate you letting us fleece
> you without end. You will be glad to know we have
> been accumulating shares in your banks, real estate,
> and publicly held companies. We also finance a good
> portion of your debt and now manipulate your
> markets, currency, and economies for our benefit.

Re: News Brief

"Here's one a relative got recently. I love the 'So this could be true and maybe not, who knows?' part. Good grief..." - Charles

------------Begin Forward------------------

4:24:15 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time
Subj: News Brief

I always figured that we are told what they want us to believe. So this could be true and maybe not, who knows?

ABC News Piece

Just in case you happened to see the ABC News piece (if you watch ABC News) with interviews of 5 military folks in Iraq, 3 planned to vote for Obama and 2 for Hillary; no mention of any McCain supporters. Well, here's the "Rest of the Story."

Lou, This from Major General (ret) Buckman, a close friend of ours.

*My niece, Katelyn, stationed at Baluud , Iraq was assigned, with others of her detachment, to be escort/guard/ watcher for Martha Raddatz of ABC News as she covered John McCain's recent trip to Iraq . Katelyn and her Captain stood directly behind Raddatz as she queried GI's walking past. They kept count of the GI's and you should remember these numbers. She asked 60 GI's who they planned to vote for in November. 54 said John McCain, 4 for Obama and 2 for Hillary. Katelyn called home and told her Mom and Dad to watch ABC news the next night because she was standing directly behind Raddatz and maybe they'd see her on TV. Mom and Dad of course, called and emailed all the kinfolk to watch the newscast and maybe see Katelyn. Well, of course, we all watched and what we saw wasn't a glimpse of Katelyn, but got a hell'uva view of skewed news. After a dissertation on McCain's trip and speech, ABC showed 5 GI's being asked by Raddatz how they were going to vote in November; 3 for Obama and 2 for Clinton .

No mention of the 54 for McCain.*

* Think about this: *

If you don't want to forward this * for fear of offending someone... YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is Time for America to Speak up!

Clinton "joke" from long ago with bonus

"I wanted to share this 'joke' I got from a dear relative a long time ago. I added the last line and sent it back to him, and I haven't gotten any emails like this from him since." -Charles

------------Begin Clinton Joke------------------

Bill Clinton got off his helicopter in front of the White House with a baby pig under each arm. The Marine guard snapped to attention, saluted, and said "Nice pigs, Sir!"

The President replied "These are not pigs. They are authentic Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got one for Hillary, and I got one for Chelsea."

The Marine again snapped to attention, saluted, and replied, "Nice trade, Sir!"

Whereupon President Clinton put the hogs down and punched the bastard's lights out.

Fwd: Fwd: This is getting scary now...

"My cousin keeps sending me 9/11 conspiracy shit and stuff that makes it sound like Ron Paul is gunna cure AIDS and balance the budget and stuff. I looked up this Larry Sinclair guy's videos. He sounds like a twat and I'd be happy if Obama offed him (I don't think he did). Anyway, enjoy." -Burt

Ha! Thank you Burt. This a great touch to the Obama death-list sensation sweeping the nation.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Eagle of Freedom
Date: Sun, Aug 3, 2008 at 4:48 PM
Subject: re: FW: This is getting scary now...
To: ####@gmail.com

>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > Scott Harman (Freedom News) August 3rd, 2008. Duluth. Prominent Obama
>> > critic
>> > Larry Sinclair has been found dead in his apartment early Sunday
>> > morning.
>> > The death was initially ruled to be a suicide. However, investigators
>> > changed the status of the death to a "probable homicide" due to the odd
>> > angles of the bullet wound, which would have been impossible for a man
>> > to
>> > inflict on himself.
>> >
>> > "Mr. Sinclair's death was initially ruled a suicide," said
>> > Deputy Chief of Police Brian Carney. "However, upon further
>> > investigation we
>> > found tiny scratches in the metal on the lock to Mr. Sinclair's
>> > apartment.
>> > They are consistent with the marks made by a lockpicking device."
>> >
>> > Deputy Chief Carney also stated that his decision to change
>> > the
>> > status of the Sinclair's death from "suicide" to "probable homicide" has
>> > prompted a flurry of phone calls to his office. While several of them
>> > did
>> > not openly identify themselves, it was heavily insinuated that the calls
>> > were coming from high-ranking members of Obama's election committee.
>> >
>> > "None of them have threatened me outright," Carney states.
>> > "Mostly, they have stated that the department and myself included will
>> > be
>> > subject to great 'personal embarrassment' if we didn't conclude the
>> > investigation in this case as quickly and quietly as possible."
>> >
>> > Carney also stated that he would not let these phone calls
>> > influence the investigation.
>> >
>> > Messages left with Obama's national campaign office have not
>> > been returned. Duluth Mayor Don Ness, who acts as the co-chair to
>> > Obama's
>> > campaign in Duluth has responded, saying that none of the calls to the
>> > Deputy Chief of Police have originated from the Obama campaign or the
>> > Mayor's office, dismissing questions about it as "paranoia" and "just a
>> > stupid conspiracy theory."
>> >
>> > The Larry Sinclair scandal began in January 2008, with
>> > Sinclair
>> > publicly asserting that he had a homosexual sex and used illegal drugs
>> > with
>> > Obama back in 1999. In June of this year, at a conference at the
>> > National
>> > Press Club, Sinclair released his cell phone records from that time
>> > (which
>> > showed several calls to a cell phone number used by Barack Obama during
>> > those dates), as well as describing physical features of Obama's
>> > genitalia.
>> >
>> > Despite this evidence, the Obama campaign has been able to
>> > convince the mainstream media that Sinclair's claims are
>> > "unsubstantiated".
>> > Sinclair volunteered to take a polygraph examination that found Sinclair
>> > to
>> > be showing signs of deception. However, at least ten polygraph experts
>> > have
>> > examined the methodology used on Sinclair and have rated the test to be
>> > either "highly flawed" to "completely unusable". It was also revealed
>> > that
>> > the site administering the test, Whitehouse.com, had been given an
>> > undisclosed sum of money from the Obama campaign in order to discredit
>> > Sinclair's allegations.
>> >
>> > Besides a rigged polygraph test, the Obama campaign has also
>> > used viral internet tactics to smear Sinclair's reputation, alleging
>> > that
>> > Sinclair had a long rap sheet of check fraud charges, and attacking the
>> > nature of Sinclair's disability. Since 2001, Sinclair has been drawing
>> > Social Security Disability benefits for a back injury he suffered at
>> > work.
>> > In the month before Sinclair's alleged suicide, the Social Security
>> > office
>> > had suddenly decided to cancel Sinclair's benefits and demanded
>> > repayment of
>> > all funds paid out to him from the fund.
>> >
>> > "This sort of sudden removal of a person's benefits rarely
>> > happens," stated a high ranking official within the Social Security
>> > administration (speaking on the condition of anonymity). "I saw during
>> > the
>> > Clinton years where people drawing benefits would have their cases
>> > audited
>> > or their benefits removed as a way of putting political pressure upon
>> > opponents. But this is the first time I've seen such pressure being
>> > applied
>> > before a person is even in office."
>> >
>> > Sinclair's death is just the latest in a series of
>> > suspicious
>> > deaths that surround Barack Obama and his associates such as Antoin
>> > Rezko
>> > and the Rev. Jeremiah Wright. The Obama campaign has dismissed such
>> > allegations in the past as "just vicious Internet smears", but there is
>> > increasing body of evidence that proves that Obama is related, at least
>> > indirectly, to at least some these deaths.
>> >
>> > Residents of the apartment building Sinclair lived in were
>> > shocked at the furor surrounding his death. "I liked Obama," said Sara
>> > Jackson, who lived next door to Sinclair. "I planned on voting for him.
>> > However, now that I see what he's capable of, I don't feel comfortable
>> > with
>> > him being our president. In fact, the idea of him becoming president now
>> > scares me."
>> >


"From my friend in city government:" -JC

Hmm, nice use of green font, could use some graphs, maybe an animated GIF to make it more approachable, although "This will make your day" is a solid hook. What else... Oh, and some footnotes. -m

-------Begin Forward---------

If you read this info on the Proposed Tax changes after the Election & do not get totally TICKED OFF Then GOD help us all We better wake up folks.

This will make your day!


Spread the word.....

This is something you should be
aware of so you don't get blind-sided.
This is really going to catch a lot
of families off guard. It should
make you worry.

Proposed changes in taxes after 2008 General election:


0% on home sales up to $500,000
per home (couples) McCain does not
propose any change in existing
home sales income tax.

28% on profit from ALL home sales

How does this affect you?
If you sell your home and make a profit, you
will pay 28% of your gain on taxes.
If you are heading toward retirement
and would like to down-size your
home or move into a retirement
community, 28% of the money you
make from your home will go to taxes. This
proposal will adversely affect the
elderly who are counting on the income
from their homes as part of their retirement income.


MCCAIN 15% (no change)

OBAMA 39.6%

How will this affect you?
If you have any money invested in stock
market, IRA, mutual funds,
college funds, life insurance, retirement
accounts, or anything that pays
or reinvests dividends, you will now
be paying nearly 40% of the money
earned on taxes if Obama become president.
The experts predict that 'higher
tax rates on dividends and capital gains
would crash the stock market yet
do absolutely nothing to cut the deficit.


MCCAIN (no changes)

Single making 30K - tax $4,500
Single making 50K - tax $12,500
Single making 75K - tax $18,750
Married making 60K- tax $9,000
Married making 75K - tax $18,750
Married making 125K - tax $31,250

(reversion to pre-Bush tax cuts)
Single making 30K - tax $8,400
Single making 50K - tax $14,000
Single making 75K - tax $23,250
Married making 60K - tax $16,800
Married making 75K - tax $21,000
Married making 125K - tax $38,750

Under Obama your taxes will
more than double!
How does this affect you? No explanation
needed. This is pretty
straight forward.


MCCAIN 0% (No change, Bush repealed this tax)

OBAMA Restore the inheritance tax

How does this affect you? Many families
have lost businesses,
farms and ranches, and homes
that have
been in their families
for generations because they could not
afford the inheritance tax.
Those willing their assets to loved
ones will not only lose them to
these taxes.


* New government taxes proposed on
homes that are more than
2400 square feet

* New gasoline taxes (as if
gas weren't high enough already)

* New taxes on natural resources
consumption (heating
gas, water, electricity)

* New taxes on retirement accounts
and last but not least....

* New taxes to pay for socialized medicine
so we can receive the same
level of medical care as other
third-world countries!!!

FW: Windfall Tax

" This came from my wife's friend in North Carolina; couldn't find any debunking on it yet." -JC

-------Begin Forward---------
Windfall Tax on Retirement Income

Adding a tax to your retirement is simply another way of saying to the American people, you're so darn stupid that we're going to keep doing this until we drain every cent from you. That's what the Speaker of the House is saying. Read below...............

Nancy Pelosi wants a Windfall Tax on Retirement Income. In other words tax what you have made by investing toward your retirement. This woman is a nut case! You aren't going to believe this.

Madam speaker Nancy Pelosi wants to put a Windfall Tax on all stock market profits (including Retirement fund, 401K and Mutual Funds! Alas , it is true - all to help the 12 Million Illegal Immigrants and other unemployed Minorities!

This woman is frightening. She quotes..." We need to work toward the goal of equalizing income, (didn't Marx say something like this), in our country and at the same time limiting the amount the rich can invest." ( I am not rich, are you)

When asked how these new tax dollars would be spent, she replied: "We need to raise the standard of living of our poor, unemployed and minorities. For example, we have an estimated 12 million illegal immigrants in our country who need our help along with millions of unemployed minorities. Stock market windfall profits taxes could go a long way to guarantee these people the standard of living they would like to have as 'Americans'." (Read that quote again and again and let it sink in. "Lower your retirement, give it to others who have not worked as you have for it".

Send it on to your friends. I just did!! This lady is out of her mind and she is the speaker of the house!

A nice note

"I came across you blog today after my dear right wing dad sent me the "Bad American" one (after, of course many other hyperbolic, painful, badly written, oh jeez, you know what I mean). I was looking for something to write back; after finding your blog I realize I don't need to, just enjoy it as the art(?) it is.

Just knowing I'm not the only one makes them much easier to laugh at instead of getting would up over them.



Thank the forwarders! BTW: I did that exact same google search move when I was face to face with an absurd forward from my dad once, that's why this site is here. I needed a place to vent, commiserate and then celebrate these historic yet flitting communications. -mike

MRWD: Easier on the Eyes?

New Layout. Like it? Does it load ok? Can you read it all right?

Article Link: Right-Wing Pathologies Revealed After Adkisson Shooting at Unitarian Church

Take a closer look into the mind of the forwarder from an article by John Dolan on AlterNet :

A classic drama full of hatred, ignorance and irony played out this week in the forum section of right-wing Web site Free Republic, as "Freepers" tried to make sense of a church shooting in Tennessee that killed two parishioners and wounded many others. The grotesque irony of the FR discussions is that, after early posters had indulged all their bigoted guesses about the identity of the killer, they found out the gunman was actually straight out of their own demographic: a 59-year-old white man named Jim Adkisson, who left a four-page letter ranting against liberals, was known by his acquaintances to hate "blacks, gays and anyone who was different from him," left a pile of books by O'Reilly, Savage and Hannity behind in his car, and even wore a red-white-and-blue shirt to his church killing spree.

continue reading...

Re: FW: Something to think about...

"This one is obviously a fake. But I think it's a funny one." -Poopy

Date: Fri, 1 Aug 2008 10:36:05 -0600
From: XXXX@gmail.com
To: XXXXX@hotmail.com
Subject: Something to think about...

The Truth About John SIDNEY McCain

I send this message out to all AMERICANS who are concerned about the dire choice we face in this election. I don't think I need to explain to all of you what the stakes are. We are currently locked in a WAR for the culture and faith of this great nation and are stuck with two phenomenally awful choices.

But while the myriad SINS of Barack HUSSEIN Obama are well known to the majority of AMERICANS, less is known about the extremely suspect background of John SIDNEY McCain, the supposed candidate of the REPUBLICAN party. The MAINSTREAM MEDIA have done a shameful job vetting this man (if he can even be called that) and are engaged in ACTIVE SUPPRESSION of many troubling items on John SIDNEY McCain's record.

However, the MAINSTREAM MEDIA cannot suppress the truth. All of the information below has been testified to in a COURT OF LAW under oath on the very BIBLE itself. Please read it and consider; can we really afford to have a man with the character of John SIDNEY McCain in the WHITE HOUSE?


    John SIDNEY McCain has made a great deal of his experience as a prisoner of war during the Vietnam War. He claims that because of this, he has learned the skills and has the character necessary to lead the US MILITARY in the WAR ON TERROR against the pig-religion of ISLAM.

      However, his accounts of his time in the prison camp do not hold up to even the most cursory of examinations. His conduct inside the prison camp following his capture has widely been described as perverse, shameful, and even TREASONOUS.

    It is well known that during John SIDNEY McCain's interrogations, he was given special attention since his father was an admiral in the US NAVY. As a navy pilot, John SIDNEY McCain also had a great knowledge about weapons, radar systems and deployment; information which was highly valuable to the North Vietnamese and their Soviet patrons. Several of SIDNEY McCain's fellow prisoners witness part of an interrogation, where McCain was questioned by Russian speaking officers. After this interrogation, John SIDNEY McCain was removed from the bamboo holding cage with his fellow prisoners and given extra rations of rice and canned yams. We can deduce from this that John SIDNEY McCain gave his captors vital information during this interrogation in order to get this special treatment, and thus put the lives of thousands of AMERICAN servicemen in danger. Hopefully, the extra rice rations were enough to fill not only the hunger in his belly, but also the deep hole in his conscience...


During his time in the prison camp, John SIDNEY McCain was subjected to torture in order to get him to sign statements critical of the UNITED STATES and its MILITARY. Experiences such as this were common to many prisoners. What is not common is the fact that John SIDNEY McCain ended up actually signing the statement given to him by his North Vietnamese captors.

His "confession" is rife with statements that are offensive to all AMERICANS. In it, he "apologizes" for the "murder" of civilians (a fact that is patently false...the majority of all civilian deaths in the Vietnam war were committed by the COMMUNISTS, since it is only through wholesale murder that they can enforce their ideology), as well as admitting that he was a tool for AMERICAN imperialism. His signature can be clearly seen at the bottom of the statement, so we can surmise that even if he didn't write all the words, he agrees with them. By doing so, he spit on every man and woman who has ever worn the uniform of the UNITED STATES MILITARY.

Besides the fact that by signing such a statement, he directly gave aid and comfort to the enemy, somebody also needs to tell John SIDNEY McCain that AMERICA is a REPUBLIC, not an EMPIRE. If he cannot tell the difference, then John SIDNEY McCain does not have the character to be President.


It is widely known that after a year of captivity by the Vietnamese, John SIDNEY McCain was offered the opportunity to go home in a prisoner exchange. As the son of an admiral, he was a high value prisoner and by staying inside the camp, he weakened the negotiating position of the UNITED STATES.

Though John SIDNEY McCain has stated that he refused to leave the camp because it would not have been fair to men who had been held captive longer than him, the record does not hold up to scrutiny. Since we've already established that McCain had given valuable information to the Vietnamese/Soviets and helped them spread their anti-imperialist/anti-GOD propaganda, why would he suddenly be driven by the welfare of his fellow soldiers?

In all, John McCain was held as a prisoner of war for six years, even though he could have left as soon as the first year. There are many reports that he was constantly bound with ropes and tortured. Why would this be done if he had already given all his information to his captors.

The answer is simple. From John SIDNEY McCain's own accounts of his torture, the acts he was involved in correlate closely to those of SADO MASOCHISM. These are acts that are regularly celebrated by the HOMOSEXUAL/PERVERT community.

Before he was killed in a highly suspicious car accident, one of McCain's fellow prisoners testified on the BIBLE that during his time in the prison camp, John SIDNEY McCain had been a "bottom" (this is a pervert designation for a homosexual who receives sodomy rather than gives it). This brave soldier also claimed that McCain frequently tried to dress in a feminine manner, and had sex with other prisoners and sometimes even his captors for extra cigarettes and plantains.

Even after his release, it seems that John SIDNEY McCain continued on with his homosexual acts. Several people have testified under oath that McCain was a constant figure in bars frequented by the homosexual/pervert community in Florida. It is these encounters that are widely known to have led to the end of McCain's first marriage.


Unfortunately, the infidelities of John SIDNEY McCain do not end there. It is a PROVEN FACT that John SIDNEY McCain fathered a child with a Bangladeshi woman named Dharba Sun Mahmoud. By this time, John SIDNEY McCain had already been elected to the Arizona senate and it is likely he met Ms. Mahmoud on a Senate tour of the region.

Likely, you are wondering how McCain having children through a heterosexual relationship matches up with the information given in the previous chapter on McCain's homosexual past. Many in the homosexual/pervert community often take on HETEROSEXUAL partners in order to pass as an upright straight citizen (thus necessitating the dissemination of tools that churches can use to identify homosexuals within their ranks). McCain could not be open though about an affair in a foreign country. He was likely involved in sex-tourism while abroad as representative of the UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT.

Bangladesh is 88% Muslim, and so is Ms. Mahmoud, who remarried another Bangladeshi man after her encounter with John SIDNEY McCain (a man who is incidentally on terrorist watch lists in the United States, the UK and INTERPOL). Nothing more is known of McCain's half-child since it was likely honor killed in accordance with the Islamic law of Sharia.

However, there is no indication that Ms. Mahmoud was a recent convert to Islam, nor that she was not a Muslim when she had her encounter with John SIDNEY McCain. Sharia is extremely strict about extra-marital sex with someone who is not of Muslim lineage. Since Islam is a POLYGAMIST religion, there is a loophole where a man and a woman can become temporarily married in order to have an affair or liaison. In fact, many middle eastern brothels have a house Imam to facilitate such on the fly marriages that are often annulled as soon as the session is over.

It would be impossible for McCain to have had sex with a Muslim woman unless he converted to Islam and underwent an (albeit brief) marriage to the woman. Once converting to Islam, John SIDNEY McCain would be considered an apostate if he renounced his Islamic conversion, and would have a fatwa (death sentence) placed on his head. In the times John SIDNEY McCain has gone over to Iraq, there has been no serious assassination attempt on him, so we can only assume that John SIDNEY McCain never renounced his Islamic conversion.

So, MY FELLOW AMERICANS. Ask yourself, can we afford to have John SIDNEY McCain as leader of the FREE and CHRISTIAN world if he is actually secretly a Muslim?

Can we afford to have John SIDNEY McCain as president, who as a prisoner of war all but urinated on the sacrifices our men and women in uniform have made to make us safe from TERRORISM?

Can we afford to have John SIDNEY McCain as president if he opposed George W. Bush's tax cuts, which kept our most productive AMERICANS from going bankrupt? Is he secretly a MARXIST who believes in the redistribution of wealth from the productive class to the WELFARE CLASS?

Can we afford to have a HOMOSEXUAL as president of the United States, who will weaken the institution of MARRIAGE in this country and bring GOD'S WRATH upon our blessed nation?

Think this over carefully before you vote this fall. And thank you for reading.

Keep your kids safer online with Windows Live Family Safety. Help protect your kids.

Creative Commons License
MyRightWingDad.net is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.