Fw: New Stimulus Package Explained

The Stimulus explained

Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive an Economic Stimulus payment. This is a very exciting new program. I will explain it using the Q and A format:

Q: What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A: It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q: Where will the government get this money?
A: From taxpayers.

Q: So the government is giving me back my own money?
A: Only a smidgen.

Q: What is the purpose of this payment?
A: The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q: But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A: Shut up!

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China.

* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.

* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India.

* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala.

* If you buy a car, it will go to Japan.

* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.

* If you pay your credit cards off or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses & they'll hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

1. spending it at yard sales, or

2. going to ball games, or

3. spending it on prostitutes, or

4. beer, or

5. tattoos.

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the US .)


I'm going to go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that I met at a yard sale and we're going to drink beer all day!



gruaud said...

That's what happens when you let the corporations call the shots.

US Manufacturing as a percentage of the economy

1965 -- 53%
1988 -- 39%
2004 -- 9%

Our economy is utterly deformed. Why did we let that happen? The only outcome that results from outsourcing and globalization is that Americans lose jobs and our technological edge is siphoned off to other nations. Our trade deficit is a whopping $673 billion.

Why is this ok with our politicians?

Anonymous said...

Uh, it's was Bush's stimulus "rebate checks", not the stimulus bill, that this is referring to. More idiotic recycling....

Anonymous said...

Well this is how they LIE to their willing rubes, who gleefully lap it up.

There's lots of lies, half truths and distortions throughout, which make up this the typical load of rubbish, but the 22% - 30% who will never vote for a Democrat no matter what, love to see bunk like this bc it makes them fell superior or something.

2 small examples:
A.)buyin a car -- you can always buy an American made car (albeit NONE of the repukes I know - despite their professed passion for team USA, USA, USA - ever buy US cars) and/or the Japanese models sold over here are mostly all made in US factories by US workers. So buying a car WOULD result in money going into the US economy. Maybe *some* money would go overseas, but guess what? The economic crisis is world-wide, so that would be a good thing, too.

B.) Buying gas: how dumb is this? Libtards have been arguing for better fuel economy and alternatives to gas guzzlers for DECADES and we've been mocked and derided by contards constantly. So now, suddenly, contards are all against buying gas cuz it'll go to the towel-heads? Woah, when'd ya wake up and figure that one out, spooge-buckets? Like on November 4, 2008 maybe?? Duh. So butt-headed, and of course, ignores the fact that we DO produce our own oil here in the US, as well.

But yeah: let's just hold bake sales at the church and go to sports events, and for sure, the economy will improve without any eeeeevul stimulus happening.

I won't bother to rant about why we needed a stimulus in the first place, except to point out who was in power for the prior 8 years... and who was in charge when the world economy went south....

Rightards ranted and whined and spread similar lies about FDR in the so-called "Great" depression, but economists have proved that without it, this country would have been toast.

Go suck on it; you LOST; this is how it's going to work.

Anonymous said...

Some banks have been paying back their TARP funds with interest already. We have by no means recouped anything close to all of the TARP funds given out, but I bet most people don't know that some portion of it has been recovered by the gov't.

Wonder why the so-called "librul" media hasn't been reporting this fact? Betcha it would be reporting on it widely if (shudder) John McCain was Prez instead.

Marc with a C said...

Yard sales?

I'm sorry, but there are only so many XXXL teddy bear sweatshirts and Git-R-Done beer cozies I can fit in my Americana display case at the moment.

Bigby said...

You're dismissal of yard sales shall not be taken lightly by those of us living below the poverty line. When we finally rise up and take over, we'll make you eat those XXXL teddy bear sweatshirts and Git-R-Done beer cozies, you bastard.

Anonymous said...

When I need money, the first thing I think is: yard sale!! Especially when the world economy is in the toilet. No better way to stimulate the economy than selling baked goods or your old trash (and no, bible spice, I'm not talking about you, but now that you mention it...).

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