Fw: Suicide Bombers Go On Strike!

Sent: Friday, May 13, 2016 9:54 PM
Subject: Fw: Suicide Bombers Go On Strike!


Subject: FW: Suicide Bombers Go On Strike!
from Jerry or Pat Traylor
BBC News - Suicide Bombers Go On Strike!
  Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-week strike on Wednesday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.   The unrest began last Tuesday, when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death, would be cut by 25% this February from 72 to 54.  A spokesman said increases in recent years in the number of suicide bombings, has resulted in a shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement saying the move was unacceptable to its members and called for a strike vote. General Secretary Abdullah Aloud Bang told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad.  We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth". 
  Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, Al Qaeda chief executive Aisheet Mapants explained, "I sympathize with our workers  concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands.  They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace.  Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife.  It's a straight choice between reducing expenditures or laying people off.  I don't like cutting benefits but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up."   Spokespersons for the union in the North East of England, Ireland, Wales and the entire Australian continent stated that the change would not hurt their membership because there are so few virgins in their areas anyway.   According to some industry sources, the recent drop in the number of suicide bombings has been attributed to the emergence of Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle.  Many Muslim Jihadists now know what a virgin looks like, and have reconsidered their benefit packages.


gruaud said...

A slap at Susan Boyle? Classy, as always.

ferschitz said...

Some parts of this were amusing, but then RWD simply cannot restrain himself from being an asshole. Keep it classy, RWD. Sexism and put downs never go out of style in your bullying gang.

Hooray4US said...

I think there's been a version of this before, but I don't remember the needless & gratuitous slam of Susan Boyle. Guess RWD figured the prior version simply wasn't vile & sexist enough. Way to pile on.

Anonymous said...

I've said it for years - the Reich-wing does not understand humor. Their attempts at it fall terribly lame, insulting, or racist.

Years ago when living in Washington, DC I was listening to the radio when their two evening rush-hour hosts were on. There was the usual rush-hour traffic information and then the weather, where one of them said that late chilly October evening, that there is going to be a "nip in the air" tonight.

The second host then says, "..and speaking of Nips..." and then launches into the news of the Japanese PM being in town that night to visit Reagan. They thought that was hilarious. I thought it was typical.


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