It's been snowing here all night. So my morning goes like this:
8:00 I built a Snowman.
8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a Snowwoman.
8:15 So, I made a Snowwoman.
8:17 The nanny of the neighbors complained about the Snowwoman's voluptuous chest.
8:20 The gay couple living nearby grumbled that it could have been two Snowmen instead.
8:25 The local vegans complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and are not to be used for decorating snow figures.
8:28 I am being called a racist because the Snow couple is white.
8:31 The Muslim gent across the road wants the Snowwoman to wear a head-scarf.
8:40 Someone calls the cops who show up to see what's going on.
8:42 I am told that the broomstick of the Snowman needs to be removed because it could be used as a deadly weapon. Things get worse after I mutter; "Yeah, if I shove it up your a**."
8:45 Local TV news crew shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between Snowmen and Snowwomen? I reply; "Snowballs" and I’m called a sexist.
8:52 My phone is seized and thoroughly checked, while I am being blindfolded and flown to the police station in a helicopter.
9:00 I'm on the news as a suspected terrorist bent on stirring up trouble during this difficult weather.
9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices.
9:29 A little known Jihadist group has claimed it was their plot.
Moral: There is no moral to this story. It's just the America we live in today!
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2 comments:
White religious conservative men. Is there a more persecuted group of people in America today?
What Charlie said.
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