Fw: Humor

Dear Abby,
I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can't afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions?
Sam in California .

Dear Sam,
Register as a Republican, and run for public office.

Dear Abby,
I have an immoral and criminal past. I have always wanted to have that part of my life erased, but I can't afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions?
Son of Sam in California

Dear Sam's Son,
Register as a Democrat, and run for public office.


Anonymous said...

All wrong. Register Democrat, and your past will be dredged up, twisted, distorted and lied about ad nuasem, to the point where you might even question your own memory of your life. Are you sure you didn't order that mob hit when you were just 8 years old?

Register Republican, and no one will give a shit about your past. You could be a serial adulterer, a drunk, a sexual harasser, a flip flopping loser, a failed businessman, a kook, a bigot, a Washington insider, a B grade actor, etc. None of it matters in the slightest to the Republican base.

Ken said...

Just sign up with Grover and everything is forgiven the money flows and grover owns another asshole.

ferschitz said...

I guess this is yet another one of those rightwing "jokes" that is somehow an incredible laff riot but is somehow also not a rightwing opinion piece.

If some conservative or other wants me to believe that outright *fantasy,* then here's what I have to say: pull the other one...

gruaud said...

How about not being corrupt holier-than-thou hypocrites in the first place?

How about that?

Mysophobe said...

Most democrats will admit that they are flawed human beings poorly suited to pass judgement on others, so no surprise when that's proven true. Republicans, on the other hand, present themselves as paragons of virtue and personal responsibility, appointed by god himself to sit in judgement of us poor sinners. So yeah, it makes news when they are proven to be full of it. I think it's called a double edged sword.

Hooray4US said...

It's good that this RWF provides the helpful tip in the Subject line that it's "Humor." You know, so that everyone who reads it "gets" how they're supposed to "take it." Would be very difficult to figure out otherwise, since it's: a) not close to being funny, and b)not close to being accurate.

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