Fwd: FW: Affordable Boat Act

Very good summation.

The U.S. government has just passed a new law called: "The affordable boat act" declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new boat, by April 2014. These "affordable" boats will cost an average of $54,000-$155,000 each. This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance or repair costs.

This law has been passed, because until now, typically only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase boats. This new laws ensures that every American can now have a "affordable" boat of their own, because everyone is "entitled" to a new boat. If you purchase your boat before the end of the year, you will receive 4 "free" life jackets; not including monthly usage fees.

In order to make sure everyone purchases an affordable boat, the costs of owning a boat will increase on average of 250-400% per year. This way, wealthy people will pay more for something that other people don't want or can't afford to maintain. But to be fair, people who cant afford to maintain their boat will be regularly fined and children (under the age of 26) can use their parents boats to party on until they turn 27; then must purchase their own boat.

If you already have a boat, you can keep yours (just kidding; no you can't). If you don't want or don't need a boat, you are required to buy one anyhow. If you refuse to buy one or cant afford one, you will be regularly fined $800 until you purchase one or face imprisonment.
Failure to use the boat will also result in fines. People living in the desert; ghettos; inner cities or areas with no access to lakes are not exempt. Age, motion sickness, experience, knowledge nor lack of desire are acceptable excuses for not using your boat.

A government review board (that doesn't know the difference between the port, starboard or stern of a boat) will decide everything, including; when, where, how often and for what purposes you can use your boat along with how many people can ride your boat and determine if one is too old or healthy enough to be able to use their boat. They will also decide if your boat has out lived its usefulness or if you must purchase specific accessories,(like a $500 compass) or a newer and more expensive boat.

Those that can afford yachts will be required to do so...its only fair. The government will also decide the name for each boat. Failure to comply with these rules will result in fines and possible imprisonment.

Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a boat, they and their families can obtain boats free, at the expense of tax payers. Unions, bankers and mega companies with large political affiliations ($$$) are also exempt.

 If the government can force you to buy health care, they can force you to buy a boat....or ANYTHING else..

Yeah...it's that stupid...


Anonymous said...

Yeah...it's that stupid...

Yup, you'd have to be pretty stupid to think this analogy works. If this "argument" was a boat its hull would be full of holes and the engine would be on fire.

CharlieE said...

If the government can force you to buy health care, they can force you to buy a boat....or ANYTHING else..

Yep, that's why we need a single payer plan. Everyone gets healthcare and we adjust tax rates accordingly and call it a day.

Then we can proudly claim to have joined the twentieth century, albeit a few years late.

Anonymous said...

"Typically only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase boats." This is what we call a tell. Oh no, the poors are getting healthcare!

Anonymous said...

Can someone please explain why auto insurance, which I believe is required in all 50 states, is not Marxist?

I think maybe because a white guy thought of it...

Unknown said...

The author appears to be allergic to apostrophes.

gruaud said...

"Obamacare" is not something you buy. It is merely ACCESS to insurance options. And the insurance companies had 3 years to get it right, and did their best to make it worse. If your premiums went up, blame the insurance moguls, not the guy who provided options.

And, right on cue, they sic their attack dogs on the ACA website as if it's the end of the world. And the GOP could have cooperated to properly fund the development of the website, categorically refused, and then had the temerity to blame Sibelius for the problems.

Open your eyes: the GOP ALWAYS OBSTRUCTS. It's all they have left.

They don't govern, they steal and destroy. They are a plague of locusts.

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