Fwd: FW: 18 WAYS TO BE A GOOD LIBERAL

Subject: 18 WAYS TO BE A GOOD LIBERAL

18 WAYS TO BE A GOOD LIBERAL

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand
2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more of a threat than US nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but PETA activists do.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
17. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens and ! transves tites should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
18. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right-wing conspiracy.

8 comments:

Someone you should know said...

"11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only."

Oh my god.

FlyingBuddha said...

18. You have to believe that lying to an entire country to get them into a war is somehow worse than lying to the entire country about cheating on your wife.

FlyingBuddha said...

19. You have to believe that granting secret no bid reconstruction contracts to a company shortly before invading a country might have something to do with being the former CEO of said company.

Mike Ballard said...

20. You have to agree with conservatives that capitalists have the right to the lion's share of the product of labour.

Anonymous said...

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison.

So basically, to become an American hero you have to kill hundreds of thousands of Americans.

Good to know.

Anonymous said...

Yup, just like Margret Sanger did.

SJT said...

Thats weak anon. Sanger was far from perfect, but she advocated the availability of birth control. According to your mindset, Sanger's crime was having the gall to believe that women should have even a smidgen of control over their own lives and bodies.

AltWorlder said...

So basically, to become an American hero you have to kill hundreds of thousands of Americans.

Good to know.


No, you just have to have a name that can be shortened as "Tommy Boy."

 
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