Fw: 7%


----- %

A Holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said, 'Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like.'

The Lord led the holy man to two doors.

He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in.

In the middle of the room was a large round table..

In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew,

which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water.

The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly.

They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful.

But because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.

The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.

The Lord said, 'You have seen Hell. They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one.

There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water.

The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking.

The holy man said, 'I don't understand.

'It is simple,' said the Lord. 'It requires but one skill.

You see, they have learned to feed each other.

The greedy think only of themselves.'

When Jesus died on the cross, he was thinking of you.

Its estimated 93% won't forward this.

If you are one of the 7% who will, forward this with the title '7%' .

I'm in the 7%

Remember that

I will always share my spoon with you.


Anonymous said...

So Heaven is Socialist people helping each other out?

How can this be a RWF?

ferschitz said...

This is an old parable, and I just burst out laughing! Who are they trying to kid??? Seriously. I thought that RWF's hated socialism and had pretty much eschewed the Gospels and the teachings of Jesus (the Old Testament is what the quote endlessly).

Color me surprised, unless this is a RWF stab at bitter irony.

I sure wouldn't want to have to share a spoon with RWF types! If nothing else, I'm sure they'd contrive to get more than their fair share bc they work so much harder and deserve so much more than rest of us cruds at the table of life.

I give this on a big Bronx cheer: pzzzzzzzzt!!!!

gruaud said...

If just one of those guys in 'heaven' were black or
latino, all the rest of of 'em would starve.

Anonymous said...

But... what if I forward it without the title "7%"? Ow, my head.

I first heard this story set as a Buddhist or Chinese parable, using chopsticks. Googling to see where it might have come from, I see it cited all over the Web to make a point about Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, Hinduism, and even for no particular religion at all.

dave said...

This entry led to the creation of a new tag in MRWD -- Irony.


Anonymous said...

It's one of those stories that's been around for a while to teach people - whether of any particular religious persuasion or not - to share, to be kind to one another, to obey the golden rule. It's a good story.

That a RWF would include this story is laughingly funny, though, given their narcissism and selfishness. But who knows? While doubtful, maybe some RWF types will actually "get" what this means. Although in their world, they probably think that this means you share the spoon ONLY with "their kind" that attends their weird megachurches, are white, middle class or wealthy, etc. I find it hard to imagine any of them thinking that this would apply to them sharing the spoon with their Latino maids and gardeners, the AA in their office, or the dreaded muzlins that live down the street, etc.


Hibryd said...

That's not Right Wing Heaven! In RW Heaven one enterprising soul offered to feed others at the table for money. Then he patented the idea of feeding others so no one else could do it. Then with the money he made he bought security to protect his patented idea, and then franchised it out. Soon everyone was part of the Spoon Capitalism System, and while many people had to feed others all day and only got a few crumbs themselves, the souls at the top of the system didn't have to do any work at all and had more money than they knew what to do with. They lived happily ever after. The End.

katz said...

I just love the non sequitur from "we should help each other" to "you should forward this email or else you're a bad person." The made-up statistic is a nice finishing touch.

(Side note to Dave: Do we seriously not have this in the archives already? It's been around forever.)

Anonymous said...

Ah, but it's not ironic!

Anyone who thought this is irony doesn't get the "consistent" fashion in which the right-wing mind can process this stuff....

Obviously, what this story is saying is that God wants you to engage in VOLUNTARY CHARITY by feeding people who are sitting at YOUR table - people who are JUST LIKE YOU! There is no reason to beleive that God want you setting up ways to help all of "society" - which, as we know, is full of people who are NOT at "your" table, and who are nothing like you!

This parable is telling you that you need to voluntarily "feed" fellow straight, white, Republican, Christian, "Real Americans" sitting at the "right" table with you. (E.g., buy some American soldiers a cheap box lunch!)

People like Jews, Muslims, pagans, atheists, gays, liberals, non-whites, immigrants, foreigners, feminists, and other assorted riff-raff aren't AT the table to begin with! Therefore, this mutual-helping nonsense does not apply to them!

In fact, God wants you to stand up and PROTEST allowing some gubbmint offishal to take away YOUR food from the Chosen Table at which you sit, and feed it to undeserving people who God didn't invite to the table in the first place!

See? It's really very simple and consistent, once you learn to think the right way!

Anonymous said...

Ah, I see. Thanks last Anon post! I was starting to get very, very worried and concerned that I might have to share my precious spoon with teh gheyz, dreaded terrerost muzlins, dirty messicans, ACORN cell phone AA welfare kings & queens, etc. You know: those dirty, lazy uglies who aren't like me!

Phew! Thank goodness that my spoon only has to touch lily white straight conservative Republican lips (probably of those who belong to only the best country clubs and went to exclusive private schools).

In that case: count me in!!! Anything else would be horrible socialism, and I sure don't believe in that shit.

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