Fwd: Politically Correct Statements

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America :

Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referrred to as
'HILLBILLIES.'
You must now refer to them as
APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS .
And furthermore

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a
' BREASTED AMERICAN. '

2. She is not 'EASY' - She is

'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE..'

3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a

'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY..'

4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a

'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes

' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a

' LOW COST PROVIDER..'

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a
'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is

' OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

3.. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He
' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in
'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'
(Loved this one!)

6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's
'TROUSER CLEAVAGE..'

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Double meh.

gruaud said...

They're just mad because they can't say the
N-word anymore.

Every time one of the hillbillies rail about
PC, this is what it boils down to.

ferschitz said...

Agree with Gruaud, plus: zzzzzzz

Anonymous said...

This was funny... get a life

Anonymous said...

You thought that was funny? Get a sense of humor, shitbird.

D. Sidhe said...

I never realized how hard it is on people that they can't call bitches "chicks" or "sluts" anymore. I mean, good heavens. If only there were a word that would describe all female humans that somehow didn't offend them. Something catchy and short, maybe two syllables or so, easy to remember... Not "men", but, you know, something like that.

Ah, well. Until we come up with a word for them, I guess we'll just have to choose between "babes" and "breasted-Americans".

Celia said...

This list (or one like it) has been going round the internet ever since there was an internet.

D. Sidhe said...

Well, yes. It's not new, and it's certainly no funnier the fiftieth time you hear the same old joke. But more to the point, even the fiftieth time through I still can't figure out why some people view a statement on the advantages of not being gratuitously hateful bigots to be the moral equivalent of insisting people not be allowed to use any of the words they already know. The only possibility I can come up with is that the people who make these jokes actually *don't* know any other words for women than "slut" or "chick".

Tootseye said...

These rightwingers are one-trick ponies. If they can't use the "n" word or sexist terms like "bitch" "slut" or "chick," they get all irritable & annoyed. Says a lot, don't it?

And yes, I've seen versions of this for years... in fact it goes back to before the Internet. And it's no funnier now than it was in 1960s.

BAH-oring....

almoderate said...

I think I may have actually heard someone use the term "trouser cleavage" before.

It's not that I've heard this one a thousand and one times. It's not old. It's not unfunny. It's cleverness-challenged.

 
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