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Fwd: Actual Craig's List Ad

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Subject: Fwd: Actual Craig's List Ad

Ah, turning the tables can be so sweet!!!


AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.

Date: 2009-05-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T.

I was the guy wearing the blackBurberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in twothreatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours,

Alex

P.S. Remember this motto ... An armed society makes for a more civil society!


I probably don't have to ask you to forward this one.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dream on, wimp.

Anonymous said...

P.S. Remember this motto ... An armed society makes for a more civil society!

Yes, what an eminently civil reaction dear Alex had to being mugged.

Anonymous said...

Have fun explaining to the police why your car (and your friends') made all those purchases at the gas station that bounced when the credit card company's theft protection kicked in.

Anonymous said...

Lame. Even if this was true (and it ain't, obviously) this genius is confessing to multiple felonies, none of which is excused by the fact that he was threatened by someone. Have a nice time in prison without your gun, tough guy.

ferschitz said...

Sheesh. So wrong on so many levels.

Ok, if this fantasy from some cheeto-breathed keyboard "warrior" actually did pull a gun whilst being mugged: ok. Fair enough.

And maybe fair enough to take his shoes, wallet & cell phone. But then take those items to the police and explain what happened and hand them in.

Being ever so proud of your white @$$ for THEFT from a "n" word... ugh.

More racist fantasy junk from the RepuliKKK party.

Anonymous said...

Gee, "Alex," thanks for being so "thoughtful." Remind me to avoid anyone & everyone who thinks & acts like you do. I would prefer to avoid such "thoughfulness" at all costs.

Anonymous said...

Alex, we'll be sure to read this ad at your trial for armed robbery and larceny.

Of course, on the very off chance that this is true, what are the odds that the credit card he used wasn't stolen from someone else?

Marc with a C said...

Yeah, my supermodel girlfriend routinely buys me $1000-1500 handguns for my birthday too.

Carrie said...

Seriously. If this crap were true, the writer committed multiple felonies.

Kind of shows exactly what the writer thinks makes someone a criminal. I guess rich white guys can't be criminals even if they rob someone at gunpoint.

The guy may have tried to mug you, but you actually mugged him. How does it feel to be exactly the kind of criminal you want to throw the book at?

Of course, it's just someone's macho power fantasy anyway. But the fantasy shows some things about how this person thinks.

Tootseye said...

Carrie: exactly. This writer is at least FANTASIZING about committing the exact crimes that he's so enraged at someone else committing. Except he's white, so it's all ok if you're a white Republic. If you're black, and you do the SAME crime, then you get the book thrown at ya.

Note what it has come down to: one law for white Republics (whether rich or poor, but esp if you're rich), and something completely different for minorities, esp if you vote Democratic.

But then again, we've noticed this in all RWF emails. Hypocrits, liars, cheats & thieves. It's ok, if it's them, but definitly not, if it's not them.

UGH!! And this wimp is ever so proud of himself, too, which is probably the most disgusting thing about this one. Really sick.

Such As That. said...

I agree with each one of these posters, but the email does not state the race of any of the two major parties involved ANYWHERE in my perusal. I don't understand how this could be classified as a racist tale; merely a dim-witted vigilante going far past retribution.

 
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