FW: Ah, sorry to bother you Mr. Obama, Sir. . ..

Curator's note: This RW FWD: is an "updated" version of this entry already in the archive.

Ah, sorry to bother you Mr. Obama, Sir. . ..

Ah, sorry to bother you Mr. Obama, Sir. . ..

Excuse me Mr. Obama, I mean President Obama, Sir. Um . . I know you're busy, and important and stuff. I mean, running the country is very important and -- ah -- I hate to bother you, Sir. I will only take a minute. Ok, Sir?

See, I have these missing pieces that are holding me up, and I was wondering, Sir, if you could take time out of your busy schedule and help me out. You know, no big deal, just some loose ends and things.

Hey, you have a nice place here! The wife sees houses like this on TV all the time and says, boy, she wishes she had digs like this, you know? Is that painting real? Really? Wow!
I saw something like that in a museum once. Oh, sorry Sir. I didn't mean to get off the track. So if you could just help me out a minute and give me some details, I will get right out of your way.

I want to close this case and maybe take the wife to Coney Island or something. Ever been to Coney Island Sir? No? I didn't think so...
Well, listen, anyway, I can't seem to get some information I need to wrap this up. These things seem to either be "Not released" or "Not available." I'm sure it's just an oversight or glitch or something, so if you could you tell me where these things are I have them written down here somewhere -- oh wait.

I'll just read it to you.
Could you please help me find these things, Sir?
1. Occidental College records -- Not released

2. Columbia College records -- Not released
3. Columbia Thesis paper -- "Not available"

4. Harvard College records -- Not released

5. Selective Service Registration -- Not released

6. Medical records -- Not released

7. Illinois State Senate schedule -- Not available

8. Your Illinois State Senate records -- Not available

9. Law practice client list -- Not released

10. Certified Copy of original Birth certificate -- Not released

11. Embossed, signed paper Certification of Live Birth -- Not released

12. Record of your baptism -- Not available
13. Why your wife, Michelle, can no longer practice law as an attorney? (Insurance Fraud?_
14. Why your wife has 22 assistants, when other First Ladies had one?

15. Why were you getting "foreign student aid" as a college student?

16. Which countries "passport" did you have when you visited Pakistan in 1981?

Oh and one more thing Mr. President, I can't seem to find any articles you published as editor of the Harvard Law Review, or as a Professor at the University of Chicago. Can you explain that to me, Sir?

Oh, but hey -- listen! I know you're busy! If this is too much for you right now -- I mean -- tell you what. I'll come back tomorrow. Give you some time to get these things together, you know? I mean, I know you're busy. I'll just let myself out. I'll be back tomorrow. And the day after. . ..

What's that Mr. President? Who wants to know these things?
We the People of the United States of America ! You know, the ones that vote.




Anonymous said...

Colombo seems to be losing his touch considering how easy all these things are to find. Don't even need a search warrant. Just Google. Course, I suppose if you're just sticking your fingers in your ears and yelling, "Nope! Not real! La la la la la! Not listening!" Well I suppose it wouldn't count then.

ferschitz said...

Brought to you by rightwing think tanks hoping to gin up outrage over nothing. Rightwingers want to be at war with many countries, but they play right into the hands of our alleged enemies by being so disrespectful to the Commander in Chief of our armed forces.

Really disgusting & stupid.

Anonymous said...

Colombo needs to retire; he's toast as a detective.

Marc with a C said...

Too bad the conservatives never spent as much energy looking for Osama bin Laden.

Thx 4 Fish said...

I know this is going to sound crazy but I haven't actually seen copies of birth certificates, school records, business records, etc. for a lot of people including: my senators, congressman, governor, prior US presidents, the list goes on. Of course I haven't actually been looking for these records, but still they ought to be mailing these directly to my house, right?

Anonymous said...

Bebe: what? You mean those Senators and such aren't lining up at your house daily with certified copies of those things, along with the certifiers, to show said docs to you so that you can see them with your own very little eyes?

If not, then they must be "fooling" you as well.

What I want to know: where's John McCain's birth certificate? where's Sarah Palin's medical records? Where's Sarah Palin's college degree? Where's Carrie Prejean's morals?

Get me out of Newton KS said...

I couldn't agree more with the previous comments. I am sick and tired of ridiculous time-wasting emails by close-minded, misinformed conservatives that seem to continually hit the 'forward' button without anything but ignorance and prejudice as their backing.

Anonymous said...

@almoderate: Google has a well-known liberal bias.

Anonymous said...


According to Stephen Colbert, so does the truth.

Anonymous said...

It almost seems like FactCheck reads this site. No sooner do I see these things here than they end up over there...


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