Fw: Heaviest Element Yet Discovered (Pelosium)

Subject: Heaviest Element Yet Discovered

See below - this is one of those elements that you always knew existed, but
it takes a very smart chemist a whole lot of effort to figure out the
characteristics and then put it all down in black and white in a manner that
makes sense.

Heaviest Element Yet Known to Science Discovered

Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory in California has now identified
with certainty the heaviest element known to science.

The new element, Pelosium (PL), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88
deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass
of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Pelosium is inert, and has no charge and no magnetism. Nevertheless, it can
be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
contact. A tiny amount of Pelosium can cause a reaction that would normally
take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Pelosium has a normal half-life of 2 years. It does not decay, but instead
undergoes a biennial reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

Pelosium mass will increase over time, since each reorganization will
promote many morons to become isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that
Pelosium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This
hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Pelosium becomes Senatorium, an element that
radiates just as much energy as Pelosium since it has half as many peons but
twice as many morons.

Ed Tanton

Website: http://www.n4xy.com

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Marc with a C said...

And the GOP thinks that spending money teaching our kids to science good is wasteful.

Anonymous said...

I think they over-reached this time....I'm guessing that most of the target audience won't even be able to get the science-related jokes.

ferschitz said...

Yeah, I doubt that many teabaggers will be able to comprehend what Mr. Tanton is getting at here. I guess I have to give Tanton a half point of credit bc it's reasonably well written and makes a point in a geeky, scientific-y way. Not that I necessarily agree with it, but it's better quality than most RWF.

Mr. Tanton is from the deep south (per his webpage) and quite proud of it, so no surprises that he hates Pelosi just because....

katz said...

Is it too much to ask for a joke that isn't at least 10 years old?

Hooray4US said...

Yes, katz, you're relly asking far too much of this crowd... ten year old jokes is about where it's at, and usually the jokes are recycled from a prior leftie joke dissing conservatives.

Not only does reality have a liberal bias, but so does humor, it seems.

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