Fw: FW: Are you a Democrat, a Repubican, or a Redneck?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a
deserted street with your wife
two small children.
Suddenly, an Islamic
Terrorist with a huge knife
around the corner, locks eyes with you,
screams obscenities, praises
Allah, raises the
knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a Colt 45 automatic, and you are an expert shot.

You have mere seconds
before he reaches you and your family. What
you do?

.................................................... ...........


Answer :

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that
would inspire
him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club
and knock
the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about
this situation?
Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind
of message
does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be
happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would
he be
content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold
on, could my
family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have
paint and weed day and
make this happier, healthier street that
discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to
debate this with
some friends for few days and try to come to a

.. ...................................................... .............



.................................................. ...................................................... ...........
Redneck's Answer:

Click... (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! Click
Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those
Silver Tips or Hydrashocks?! '
Son: 'Can I shoot the next
Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist


Marc with a C said...

Faker alert!

Rednecks are too poor to afford EITHER Hydrashocks or Silver Tips.

Also, they forgot to include the rest of the Republican response.

"Wait, what? Huh? Doing yard work you say? Really? Well he looked like a terrorist to me. Mexican? You don't say. What do you mean he was jogging to work? No, I do not know the difference between a big knife and a garden trowel. Huh...so THAT's what Spanish sounds like. Welp, that's not gonna do us any good. Now, help me find a shovel, will you? Jose here ain't gonna bury himself. Time's a wastin."

Hibryd said...

This is all so bizarre. It's almost like they WANT this to be real, like they WANT an enemy that's so mindless and monolithic that they can blow him away with righteousness. Like they miss the black and white moral simplicity of WWII (us good, them bad, killing them good, people who kill them heroes) and thus they go to great lengths to imagine an enemy that does nothing but hate us and plots to kill our families.

I think they want a war. They want an evil enemy. They want to make something of themselves by way of standing and fighting the Bad Guy. They want to make and worship heroes, they want to defeat the bad guys, they desperately want to believe they're ready to save the country and their families. The language the right wing uses is riddled with "fight" and "warrior" and "war".

Do they honestly believe an Islamic terrorist is going to attack a single family, in the street, with a knife? Do they honestly believe their Republican quick-on-the-trigger values will SAVE the lives of their family one day? Does it get them off to imagine that one day they could be the heroic man to thwart a one-person jihad?

Right-wingers, give it up. One, you're more likely to get gunned down by a white guy in church these days. Two, you will never glorify yourself before God and country by personally stopping a terrorist, so if you want to be a hero, do it through actually making the world a better place. Three, you're likely to get an innocent person killed one day with that attitude.

Celia said...

I thought the evil terrorists that preyed on YOUR FAMILY PERSONALLY would be wearing an explosive waistcoat, not holding a mere knife. Also, surely liberals don't have guns - they want to take your guns away, that's what they do when they're not having gay sex.

CMcD said...

"They want to make something of themselves by way of standing and fighting the Bad Guy."

Hibryd, I think you've hit the nail on the head. I read your description and thought, "and that is exactly how we got eight YEARS! of George Dubya Bush."

Anonymous said...

Ugh, too much stooooped too early in the am. But yes to all above posts, and yeah: I read a lot of mystery/crime fiction, so, amazingly (bc I really know nada about guns) I DID know that the "average" redneck could not really afford Silver Tips or Hydraschocks.

This gives some real insight into the paranoid, delusional world in which these folks live, which is kind of scary.

Putting it simply & mildly, these folks are crazy-weird-scary, and I wish they'd all get a grip. Yeah: I can dream on....

and p.s., no matter what these idiots state here, even IF they were "attacked" by someone w/ a long knife, they would all most likely fall whimpering to the ground, as I would. Get real.

Anonymous said...

It must be nice to be able to identify a "Islamic terrorist" on sight. I guess they just assume all brown people are terrorists. Its easier that way.

But this whole thing is really silly. If anyone, or any political or religious preference, had a knife and was racing towards me and my kids I would probably defend myself. Who wouldn't? Of course, I'm not normally packing, either.

Anonymous said...

Agree w/last post: if any of saw someone appearing to threaten our families or our selves, most people would be likely to try to defend themselves.

But, really, how often does that happen? News/tv/etc makes it seem like this stuff happens almost constantly, but crime stats have been mostly declining.

Why assume it's a terrorist from another country (yea, I know: right wingers are mostly racists)? It's just as likely to be a white person from the USA (or perhaps more likely).


katz said...

Another example of right-wing humor mostly being wish fulfillment. I'll point these out as they come up.

Bebe 99 said...

Eww. this is like watching an RW masturbate.

I guess this is their idea of a joke, kind of, maybe? I really don't get how something so bloodthirsty could be humorous. But I've never found my RWD to have a sense of humor beyond this kind of thing anyway.

Anonymous said...

My rightwing dad would not walk his family down a deserted street. He has some good sense.

But I do love the ego neccessary to be afraid a terrorist will kill your family with a knife.

Anonymous said...

Republican answer: Shoot the guy standing next to the terrorist.

There, fixed that for ya.

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