Fw: Book Report

Date: Sat, 27 Jun 2009 13:50:01 -0600

Book Report-Too funny!!!

Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books, 'Titanic' and 'My Life' by Bill Clinton .

One student turned in the following book report,
With the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!

His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.

Titanic:........ Cost - $29.99
Clinton :..... Cost - $29.99

Titanic:..... Over 3 hours to read
Clinton :... Over 3 hours to read

Titanic:...... The story of Jack and Rose , their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton :... The story of Bill and Monica , their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic:........ Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton :..... Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic:....... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton :.... Ditto for Bill .

Titanic:....... During the ordeal, Rose 's dress gets ruined.
Clinton :..... Ditto for Monica .

Titanic:..... Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton :... Let's not go there.

Titanic:....... Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton :.... Monica ' s forced to return her gifts.

Titanic:......... Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton :..... Clinton doesn't remember Jack .

Titanic:........ Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton :..... Monica .. ooh, let's not go there, either.

Titanic:........ Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton :..... Bill goes home to Hillary -- basically the same thing


Anonymous said...

Ok, except that most of the Clinton stuff isn't in the book (no shocker there). And, he seems to be reviewing Titanic the movie, not Titanic the book. Fail.

The Wingers think this is funny, but if this is truly considered acceptable education, then I refer them to the "1895 8th grade test" post below. Idiots.

Jessica said...

Yay sexism! Duh Hillary is ice-cold...she's a WOMAN that wants a political office! *gasp*

Anonymous said...

Some elements of this can be viewed as mildly funny, but I do regret the sexism at the end re Hillary, ESPECIALLY given how right wingers are constantly whining about poor, pitiful, put-upon, poor, poor, poor Sarah Palin, the ultimate VICTIM of teh evil librul SEXISM.

Hypocracy knows no bounds w/this crowd, but we all know that.

Celia said...

Yes, but, you see, Sarah Palin is pretty* and has many children, compared to Hillary's mere one child, so is therefore objectively better.

*more tubleweeds*

I think the argument has been quite seriously made that liberal women hate Sarah because she obviously has a better sex life, and they know this because she has five children. Pff.

(as for the actual post, I felt too embarassed on behalf of the writer to read it. At least they're not Jimmy Carter jokes, I suppose)

*not actually that pretty, actually.

Emma said...

Numbers 8 and 9 show opposites.

... just thought i'd point that out.

Anonymous said...

Man, I thought my English class was bad when we read One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, then watched the movie.

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