Divorce Agreement between Liberal and Conservative America
I got this through one of the many 2nd amendment groups I belong to.Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here is a model separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).
We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .
You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the bill.
We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.
We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.
P.P.S Of course you could not forget Pelosi as leader of the gang!
Posts
46 comments:
Sound good to me!!!
The conservative idea that makes sense!!
I meant the ONLY conservative idea that makes sense.
What baffles me is that the GOP continues this "Health Care is a Luxury" nonsense. We can have legitimate policy differences on how reform health care, how to improve access, etc. Bu to just say that its for the well-to-do, is complete idiocy.
Ripoff:
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/80714812.html
I think we tried this before. Around, say, 150 years ago.
Supposing it did happen: does this mean we get to keep all the tax money which was previously being sucked out of blue states and sent into Red States?
Dear Conservative America:
Well, if this is what it's come to, fine. Sorry it didn't work out.
As per your agreement, we'll be taking all the college graduates, scientists, and the entire tech industry. (Yeah, like Austin is staying with *you*.) When you realize you have absolutely nothing to sell to the rest of the world, you have no educated workforce, and you have no hope of being competitive with any other first-world nation, I'm sure you're rugged individualism will keep you afloat. After all, the "greedy" CEOs (I guess we're keeping those pussy liberal CEOs in charge of Google, Apple, and Microsoft) are all you need to run a great company! Who needs the egghead educated elites who actually make the products?
Have fun raging war against anyone who threatens your way of life. Unfortunately, since you've just divorced most of the states who generate a positive tax cash flow, you might be a little hard up for money to pay your army. At least everyone is armed at home!
Have fun with your SUVs and Bibles. Hopefully your hot hockey moms can also handle tech support.
That was hilarious!
I suspect we may have a few details to work out, given the current electoral map, but it's nice to see the United States of Canada/Jesusland map is finally ratified.
I'm so tired of people using superficial cultural patinas as substitutes for fundamental, deep-seated differences in the way people see the world. It is lazy, reductionist, arrogant, and ignorant. Only a spoiled, entitled American would define people by their car and roll their eyes at the idea of someone wanting to help the homeless or disadvantaged. Many Americans have enough time and money to express themselves through their purchases; to purport that the results of this privelege are what divide us in beliefs is absurd.
The Subaru is packed. When do we start?
No doubt this "law student" - if s/he really is one (and is graduating from a "real" law school, not Liberty U) - thinks that by virtue of a J.D., s/he'll be making so many boatloads of cash (hence the anti-tax sentiment) that s/he'll be just fine without health care & dealing with expensive gas to fuel the suv, etc.
Well, the laughs on this person. Unless they are a trust fund baby, they'll soon discover just how crippling paying off their law degree (and possibly also their undergrad)is. And this maroon believes that s/he'll be in the top tier of attorneys who do make gazillions of dollars per year.
But speaking as a member of the legal profession, guess what, loser? Only a very teensy percent of attorneys make the "big bucks."
The vast majority of attorneys end up making less than top legal secrataries in the really big law firms, and many attorneys make far less than law school librarians.
And by living in a smaller country - even with all of these greedy CEOs and grubby Wall Streeters hanging around - you'll soon learn that drumming up legal business isn't all that easy or plentiful... as in: that's where you get your money from, not from some frackin' money tree.
So go for it, loser. Enjoy being poverty stricken whilst you drive your stoopid gas guzzling SUV, pay for senseless wars w/ anyone you don't like, pay for your own health care (and possibly that of your family), etc... all while attempting to do it on less than $40 - $50k year.
And btw what flag is is that the conservatives get to "keep"?? The Confederate flag?
Suggested name for your new country, to be led by Sarah Palin and Sam Wurzelnotaplumber: The United States of Fanatica.
Other names for their "country":
United States of Delusions of Granduer
United States of Cognitive Dissonance
Greedy Racists United Forever
Chistianistastan
United States of Stupidity and Assinity
United States of FAIL
For all the time they spend hating on her, you'd think they'd eventually learn how to spell Barbra Streisand's name.
Nice. Very well thought-out proposal. Such a deep understanding of this country and it's issues. A bright future as a litigator definitely awaits.
Hope y'all on the coasts know how to grow all your organic food (and figure out a way to keep chicken and hog houses from stinking) since we'll be getting Kansas, Nebraska, Iowa, Missouri and Minnesota...
And, since we'll be getting Texas, Alaska, Wyoming and the Dakotas (oil and coal for you bluebloods who dont know squat about flyover land), hope you can figure out how to put a windmill off of Cape Cod to keep y'all warm at night
But ya know, we'll sell it all to you if you ask real nice and have a currency thats worth something
@ anon
First of all, why would you get Iowa or Minnesota? Or rather, what makes you think those two solidly Blue states would want to go with you?
As for food, we in the blue states will be just fine. What's that, you haven't heard? California is the # 5 agricultural producer in the entire world, and the # 1 state by far in terms of agricultural production. Throw in the other blue states and we'll have plenty of food to keep us happy. Yes its true, we do have farms. Lots of them.
By the way, hope you didn't like almonds, grapes, lettuce, apples, oranges, pineapples, banana and a slew of other products, since they are grown almost exclusively in blue states.
Of course, the red states won't have their agriculture supported by the blue states any more. No more farm subsidies financed by blue state tax dollars. No one to sell your excess crops too. And what's that about having a "currency that's worth something"? You honestly believe that a flyover dollar would have more value in the world economy than a blue state dollar?
Oh silly me, there I go with facts again. I'll try to be more accommodating of your flawed worldview in the future.
Seriously, sounds heavenly not to deal with big mouth, know-it-all right wingers anymore.
Dear Red States...
We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and
we're taking the other Blue States with us.
In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington,Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.
To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.
We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.
You get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the
Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a
bunch of single moms.
Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and
anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at
once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have
kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no
purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their
children's caskets coming home.
We do wish you success in Iraq, and
hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our
resources in Bush's Quagmire.
With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.
With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88
percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.
We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.
Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred
unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say
that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved
in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy b*****ds believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.
By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt
weed they grow in Mexico.
Peace out,
Blue States
I'm reading a lot of posts about how the land assets of the "divorce" will be divided. Most liberals are assuming they will get entire states. LOL, best of luck with that. Here's how it will probably work, the country will be divided up, red and blue, by county.
http://www.thetreeofliberty.com/vb/showthread.php?t=36818
http://www-personal.umich.edu/~mejn/election/2008/
http://elections.nytimes.com/2008/results/president/map.html
Notice that red counties control most of the resources (oil, gas, coal, metal ore, etc...) and the blue states have most of the population. The red counties also have higher rates of gun ownership and far lower rates of crime than blue counties. If this does come to a revolution/civil war my bet will be on red.
Yes, the blue states have most of the "higher education," but, given the quality of "thought" that comes from these institutions, I'm confident that we'd be better off without it. Academia has far to high an opinion of its self. Little, if any, of the the drivel they spout would stand up to an honest critique. Poets and philosophers have a very tenuous grasp of the world as it really is.
"But what of the scientific world and their association with academia?" the left will ask. The world of scientific research is a mixed bag of the wreckage of failed theories (eugenics, socialism, and, in the near future, global warming) and the monuments of successful mistakes (vulcanized rubber, Scotch Guard, Post-it Notes, Ivory soap). Once noble science has become the religion of liberalism with the vast majority of real scientists (those with ethics) escaping the "church" and seeking employment in industry. Today's so-called scientists (those in the highly politicized world of academia) call on the populace to believe this theory or that. In real science a theory is neither to be believed or disbelieved, it is to be proven or disproven.
While we're on the subject of academia, let's not forget engineers. Engineering is one of the harder post-secondary degrees one can earn. Most engineers understand the workings of industry and the wheels that keep society rolling. Most engineers are conservative despite the best attempts of their academic counterparts to brainwash them into believing otherwise. I guess there's just something about seeing how things really work and seeing the real consequences of when they don't that tends to make one a conservative.
You speak of venture capaitalists living in blue regions, their importance to the financial system, and that the red regions will somehow be lost without them. When one considers the fact that the only real ways to make money are to farm, mine, or manufacture, it's obvious that the conservative counties have little to worry about, especially given that the wheat belt, corn belt, potato belt and the San Joaquin Valley are all red.
No, conservatism has little to fear from such a break up. I doubt that any separation would last very long however. The folly of the liberal agenda would manifest its self in short order. In the absence of the conservative scape goat and their financial contribution, the blue regions would beg to be re-admitted to the United States, and they would be more than glad to accept the conditions of such a repatriation. History would be the judge and the winners would write it.
If this does come to a revolution/civil war my bet will be on red
Ya, because rural agrarian secessionists have such a great track record in armed conflict in this country.
Wow, just wow. This whole post is just hilarious, especially given that its the Conservatives who are supposedly so put upon that they want to commit treason and leave the United States.
Good freaking riddance.
@ anon
Nice economic understanding there. I'm sure The red states (or counties, as you prefer for some reason) are going to do just fine after all their blue state farm subsidies evaporate and their natural marketplace (aka, the blue states with all the population) decide that they'd rather not buy things from traitors.
Oh, and I love your ignorant ramblings about academia, engineers and politics in general. Thank you, the world needs a clown.
I wonder which right-wing think tank this letter was created by?
@SJT: Ya, because rural agrarian secessionists have such a great track record in armed conflict in this country.
I am in no way advocating such a conflict, merely expounding upon the probable consequences of said beligerence. But, given your response, it's no wonder the left clings so tenaciously to the convenient portions of the First Amendment while discarding freedom of religion and the entire Second Amendment out-of-hand. Is the left so miopic as to not realize that the First Amendment is completely void without the second? We already see the consorship and censure the left is willing to inflict. If they are so willing to discard their most precious tennet I feel there is genuine reason to question their intent in regard freedoms for which they hold genuine contempt. I'll keep my gun and my free speech, thank you very much.
"...track record of armed conflict in this country." What history? You're going to take one war that happened 150 years ago as your evidence? LOL, best of luck buddy. If you're going to look at that war you'd better look at the ones before it too. Remember, the ones where a bunch of hayseed rustics battled the world's largest superpower to a draw? The first resulted in independence. The second to their permanant expulsion from our shores (not counting their present ally status). You need to take that into consideration, as well as taking a good long look at today's military before you paint with such broad strokes. Fact: Red counties have guns, blue counties don't (unless you count the homies, which aren't a concern because they can't shoot straight anyway).
And don't accuse anyone of treason before you take a good long look at yourself. You're the ones that want to open the borders and sell the store to Mexico. You're the ones who want to appease the terrorists. You're the ones who want to release criminals so they can commit violence. You're the ones who want to throw money down the sucking hole of welfare with zero hope of ever producing a single productive worker. My alegence is to the United States of America. You're alegence is to multiculturalism and socialism.
I will agree with you one one point, "good freaking riddance."
@ anon (9:55PM)
Nice economic understanding there. I'm sure The red states (or counties, as you prefer for some reason) are going to do just fine after all their blue state farm subsidies evaporate and their natural marketplace (aka, the blue states with all the population) decide that they'd rather not buy things from traitors.
And what if we don't feel like selling to the real traitors (remember, we have the flag, the military, and the national anthem)? Just where, exactly, do you plan to buy your food? Honestly, where? I remember the rantings of a miopic, liberal congressman. When faced with the prospect of a strike by dairy farmers he countered, "I'm not worried. I'll just buy my milk at the store." Newsflash: milk comes from cows, not the store. If you don't understand why that's stupid it's no wonder the irrefutable logic of my original post is lost on you. Given your demonstrated inability to grasp simple logical and logistical concepts it is clear that you are the one who would feel the immediate, devistating effects of such a split.
And of course you would make a comment about ignorant ramblings and academia followed by an ad-hominem attack. At least when I make a personal attack it's substantive. Welcome to the real world, the world I've helped to build. It's not built on theory and idealism, it's built of concrete and steel, pipes and glass. It's not fueled by abstract thought or self-lauding academia, poetery or theory; it's fueled by coal, gas, oil, nuclear fission, and the practial application of real science. If you think that's funny might I suggest a career in comedy or politics. The circus perhap?
Why do I prefer the county division? Because that's how it is most likely to happen. Did you even look at the maps? I even put one in there from the (left-wing liberal rag) NY Times just to make you feel better.
@ Acme Data:
I'm flattered that you would think that that the comments of a simple engineer are those of a well-educated, free thinking, publicly funded consortium.
@anon
I don't know what to tell you sir, except that I fear you've bought into a lot of far right wing nonsense hook, line and sinker. This is probably why Acme Data (half jokingly I'm sure) wondered what right wing think tank your post came from. And I can't say I blame him, because your arguments are loaded with falsehoods, poor assumptions, over-broad generalization, and leaps in logic. They aren't arguments as much as they are talking points, the same tired, cliche, outdated and false talking points we've been hearing from conservatives for years (and which form the basis of the vast majority of forwards on this very site).
Let's define some terms. For purposes of discussion of this (asinine) RWFD, the "traitors" are the ones who proposed rebelling against their government and leaving the union. In this this case, that means conservatives (or red states if you prefer). Its totally appropriate to call such talk treason and to call anyone who actually went through with it a traitor.
Despite what you may hear from Rush, Hannity, Savage, Coulter or any other right wing radical, non-conservatives (by which I mean liberals, independents, urban dwellers, academics, Obama voters and even a lot of moderate Republicans) are not out to destroy this country. We love this country, just as much as any conservative, and we're frankly sick and tired of hearing that we don't just because we don't agree with everything you say.
Some of us do own guns: 1/3 of gun owning voters voted for Kerry, and and an estimated 40% went for Obama. We do serve proudly in the military (45% of Veterans went for Obama). We are scientists, computer programmers, teachers, farmers, manufacturers, accountants, mechanics, and yes, even engineers.
But what's the point, really? I can keep going through your post line by line and point out just how crazy most of it is, but I feel my time would be wasted. You've clearly convinced yourself that the world exists only as you define it, and crafted a worldview to match. No amount of reason and fact is going to snap you out of it unless you're willing to admit that a lot of your baseline assumptions are wrong.
Most engineers are conservative despite the best attempts of their academic counterparts to brainwash them into believing otherwise.
The evidence seems to be to the contrary. According to surveys of political identification of those in academia, the Engineering departments tend to be liberal as well. A 2004 survey showed that an estimated 62% of academics in engineering fields voted for Kerry. A 2005 survey showed self identified liberals outnumbered self identified conservatives in Engineering Departments 51-19 by percentages.
Looks like the "brainwashing" is working just fine.
Of course, I know the reply I'll get: those engineering professors are the dumb engineers who can't hold down a "real job" and therefore hide out with the other loonies in academia. If they were "real" engineers they'd be out in "real" America.
I'd second that with the assertion that most engineers (and we're talking working engineers here) I know are independents who, if anything, lean toward libertarianism and despise the Republican Party. At the end of the day, engineers are pragmatists and want something that *works*, not a bunch of Bible-thumping "God'n'guns" ideology.
Since I will be responding to several posts please find yours.
...non-conservatives (by which I mean liberals, independents, urban dwellers, academics, Obama voters and even a lot of moderate Republicans) are not out to destroy this country.
And yet they fail to realize that intent is not always consistent with the result. Drunk drivers don't intend to kill people, but they do and in such numbers that it has been legislated as a crime. Let's take two liberal pet issues as examples.
First, socialism. Socialism has found such a foothold in (liberal) California that the state's workmen's compensation fund is bankrupt. Emery Worldwide (now UPS heavy air frieght) was forced to close their San Jose office because so many of their "workers" were on permanant disability. Add to that the fact that the state government is bankrupt, mostly due to entitlements, and it's plain to see the shortfalls of socialism. And don't make any mistakes, the curent financial meltdown has its roots firmly planted in socialism as well, although I will admit that it's superstructure was decidedly capitalistic. Yes, I have evidence.
The second pet issue is environmentalism, especially global warming. The fervor with which the left has espouced global warming rivals that of radical Islam. No concrete evidence (real, peer-reviewed science) is available to support the theory of global warming. I have pages upon pages of evidence, which I can provide upon request, that counters Al Gore(bal warming)'s "Inconvenient Truth." Furthermore, if the measures proposed by the green movement were instituted it would result in the immediate demise of civilization as we know it. That's not a logical leap; that's a fact. Which is worse, the eventual demise of mankind or the immediate demise of mankind?
As for your definition of "traitor" I'll have to agree, in a measure, however I would like to substitute the word "union" for the phrase "correct principles upon which this nation was founded." My alegence is to the constitution first and the union second.
Some of us do own guns: 1/3 of gun owning voters voted for Kerry, and and an estimated 40% went for Obama. We do serve proudly in the military (45% of Veterans went for Obama).
1/3, 40% and 45% still constitutes a minority, unless Ross Perot is running.
We are scientists, computer programmers, teachers, farmers, manufacturers, accountants, mechanics, and yes, even engineers.
Yes, but are they union members? Most teachers reside solidly in academia, and I put the "labor" of unionized labor in quotes since very few of them have to do any actual work. Unions have fulfilled their purpose and should be abolished. Honestly, $70k/year to install the left front tire of a Buick? It's now just another form of socialism.
But what's the point, really? I can keep going through your post line by line and point out just how crazy most of it is.... You've clearly convinced yourself that the world exists only as you define it, and crafted a worldview to match. No amount of reason and fact is going to snap you out of it unless you're willing to admit that a lot of your baseline assumptions are wrong.
I will agree with you on this point. The world probably exists as you have defined it and that you have crafted a worldview to match. I also agree that your baseline assumptions are wrong. I too would love to stop arguing, arguing against self-destructive liberal myopia, but I can't. Given the vociferous nature of the liberal idealogues I feel it's my duty to push back. The vast majority of members of the media, the entertainment industry, and academia are liberal; and yet the conservative viewpoint continues to thrive. That is proof of its strength. Time will either prove an idea or expose it. Ideas of both political camps will be retained or purged, though far more conservative ideas will be retained and a great many liberal ideas will be purged. Don't fall victim to the notion that just because something sounds right it must be right. Don't believe everything you think.
A 2004 survey showed that an estimated 62% of academics in engineering fields voted for Kerry. A 2005 survey showed self identified liberals outnumbered self identified conservatives in Engineering Departments 51-19 by percentages.
I'm talking about real, working engineers, engineers that work on the machines that run America, not "engineers" in academia. Give me those numbers and you may convince me otherwise.
Of course, I know the reply I'll get: those engineering professors are the dumb engineers who can't hold down a "real job" and therefore hide out with the other loonies in academia. If they were "real" engineers they'd be out in "real" America.
Of course that's what I'm going to say. A contempt for academia was on of my basic points, yet you insisted on replying with statistics about academics. Expecting otherwise is the very definition of insanity.
Also, I didn't say college professors were dumb, just diluded. So much of what I heard in college was the profs' own theorizing and contempt for conservativism it was sickening. Academic liberalism is so entrenched that it amounts to censorship. University was a mire of foolishness and jumping through hoops with jems of knowledge intermixed. Fortunately my engineering profs were the exception rather than the rule.
I'd second that with the assertion that most engineers (and we're talking working engineers here) I know are independents who, if anything, lean toward libertarianism and despise the Republican Party. At the end of the day, engineers are pragmatists and want something that *works*
Who said anything about the Republican Party (aside from the fact that one must vote "red" or "blue" or face being disenfranchised)? I, myself, only register so I can vote in the primay elections. No, this is about liberal and conservative. The Libertarian viewpoint is quite conservative, so much so that it sounds a lot like Trickle Down.
Yes, at the end of the day engineers (and scientists, and mechanics, and machininsts) want something that works, not empty promises and false prosperity.
1/3, 40% and 45% still constitutes a minority
Did the previous poster every claim otherwise? Sure doesn't look like it. The point was simple and still stands: that you're worldview is based on bad assumptions and falsehoods. You claimed that "blue" states (or counties, people, voters, whatever) had no guns, and "red" areas/people had them all. The fact of the matter is that you're way off in this assertion.
Clearly you're biased beyond hope with bad information and too stubborn to admit it.
I remember the rantings of a miopic, liberal congressman. When faced with the prospect of a strike by dairy farmers he countered, "I'm not worried. I'll just buy my milk at the store."
Yes, I'm sure that's exactly what the "miopic, liberal congressman" said. Then he went on to inquire about how the plans were going for the navy to put a screen door on a submarine.
Please be careful and don't put those strawmen too close to any open flames.
Blue America can pump up its treasury by charging double for abortions performed for Red Americans -- triple in border states. The magic of the marketplace!
Why would a Conservative with Judeo-Christian values promote divorce?
Why would a Conservative with Judeo-Christian values promote divorce?
@anon
I've found that most of those "values" only really count when they're judging and condemning other people. When it's their life those values tend not to be of any concern.
Didn't we try this "divorce" over "two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it..." during the Civil War? Wasn't that one of our country's darkest times as a nation, the scars of which we are still healing from? The civil war wasn't just about slavery, it was about politics and how to govern. Following the author's line of thinking, should we have just stayed North and South instead of letting Lincoln "marry" us?
Just because this is such a fun, stupid hypothetical, I should point out that Blue America will be keeping West Point, Annapolis, the Air Force Academy, and virtually the entire US Navy and associated bases. We'll also have the bulk of the Marines, since they're based in California and North Carolina.
Red America will have some Cold War-era airbases in the Midwest, and one big army base in Texas. Maybe you can supplement with the Bubba Brigade militias, but I wouldn't expect much effectiveness from guys who like to drink a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon before using their firearms.
I am all for it..beats a shooting war.
Half my country cheats on me, hates , wants me to pay for their life style, uses the equivalent of the N word to describe everything about me.
You libs are dang scared if this were to happen just like Canadians and Europeans are. You would have to get up and get to work and shoot and kill the enemy before he kills you. We'll never agree on how to split it up but you don't get the nukes and we'll, by the way, make everyone show proof of US citizenship before getting their new life. You'll be Islamic within a generation and all the women will be in burkas. I would not stay married to a spouse that treated me this way anymore. You hate everything about me. Take your pineapples, colleges and venture capitalists and have a great time.
I would just like to point out that, as an independent, I have observed unfair characterizations of both sides. However, I am always amazed at how the left - who claims to be so tolerant and open-minded - immediately dismisses any view contrary to their own as brainwashed, contrived by special interest, or just "clearly" uneducated/hateful/xenophobic/etc. Why can't people have differing opinions from the left and not be immediately dismissed as a racist, redneck, or simpleton? How can they claim to be such champions of humanity and so openly deride and belittle dissenting points of view? In fact, I have gotten used to the far left now calling views different from their own as "dangerous." Aren't their forerunners and heroes the non-conformists of the 60's: people who weren't afraid to express "dangerous" opinions of that time? This sanctimonious hypocrisy that is now so common on the left is why liberals have failed to win my sympathy - and why living without them doesn't sound so bad to me lately.
...Although I'm sure by writing this, I have now been dismissed as some kind of right-wing nut.
@ Anon
Did you actually read the RWF?
Contrary to what you seem to think, most people on the left (or non-conservatives) are quite open and tolerant of other people's ideas. What all of them are not tolerant of, however, is crap like the ideas put forth in all of these right wing emails.
You can basically boil the message of any of these emails down to this: conservatives good, holy, pious, smart, always right, and the only "real" Americans. Liberals are evil, dumb, cowardly and traitorous.
We're sick of hearing this. We're sick of conservatives spreading lies, misinformation, hate and racism through the internet and the mass media.
If you wish to discuss things civilly you might be surprised how open most non-conservatives are to addressing the issues in an open minded way. Of course, that means we need to keep the shouting and demagoguery to a minimum, something which doesn't seem to register with most right wing pundits.
You just illustrated perfectly what I was talking about. As soon as you recognized my comment to be out of line with your thinking, you assumed that I must have not read the post (or that I'm some kind of idiot that can't understand what he's reading or what goes on in the world). If I seem a bit defensive it is because I have routinely received such responses from liberals for ever daring to question them. And in case you are wondering, I am always civil and I am highly educated.
I see your point about the way liberals are portrayed. However, I see similar types of unfair characterizations turned on the conservatives: that they are all narrow-minded, racist, hateful, and pernicious. Can you really justify this same brand of mudslinging by blaming it on the right wing pundits? I really don't see you guys taking the moral high ground that you seem to think you have.
And on the point of civil discourse, I am sad to say that liberals seem to be the least tolerant and willing to unemotionally discuss the issues. Sure, there are plenty of hot-headed conservatives with who I wouldn't bother. But I have been objectively observing that the worst condescension, indignation, and highhandedness comes from the left.
Some of the content of these email forwards can be easily dismissed, but not all of it. Some of it is worth considering. This one caught my eye only because if "irreconcilable differences" are so commonly the cause of marital divorce, it does follow that we've reached the same impasse in the political arena. Two completely different and opposing paradigms and belief systems have emerged, and each side only further entrenches itself with less and less chance for reconciliation. I don't think it matters who's right and who's wrong at this point; just let each have their own way.
@ Anon
I questioned you because I fail to see how someone could honestly read this drivel and somehow think it is the product of rational conservative thought. Read it again: everything "good" is conservative, and everything "evil" is liberal. Its simplistic, insulting and mind-numbing.
I wonder if you realize the hypocrisy of this email and others like it. For 8 years, those of us who dared to question the "wisdom" of the Republican administration were branded as unamerican, traitorous, etc etc. Now after a peaceful election in which Democrats won convincingly, those same conservatives are actually advocating treason (which, as more than one former commenter has noted, was already tried circa 1860), and this is suddenly OK?
As far as the emails on this site go, a small minority of them raise interesting points. Unfortunately, the vast majority of them are either:
1)Bald faced lies
2)painful distortions of the truth
3) crazy rants by people who are clearly divorced from reality
4)weak "jokes" which contain little to no humor but plenty of cringe-worthy material
5)any or all of the above
Unfortunately, even the ones which raise points worthy of discussion are often marred by distortions, hyperbole, hate and other shortcomings which hurt any chance they would have at
It doesn't seem like these should matter, but the fact is that millions of Americans read them, believe them, and forward them. Sadly, this is what passes for political information for millions of our fellow countrymen, and no amount of Snopes, Factcheck.com, TruthorFiction.com or basic common sense and critical thinking is going to end that.
As far as I can tell, the url for MyLeftWingDad.blogspot is still available. Perhaps someone ought to catalog the vast array of leftist propoganda emails and put them on display in a similar manner. Somehow I doubt they'll have quite as much fuel as this humble site.
The comments are funnier than the divorce paper itself.
Merry Christmas to most, happy solstice to the few.
Liberals: sooo educated, intellectual, and open minded that their brains fell out. While they were thinking, contemplating, postulating, and protesting all while sipping $4 coffee, filling the Prius with $3 gas, setting forest fires to save the trees, and killing off animals to stop global warming, the rest of us are just holding down a job and raising a family.
I'm sure Jews are thrilled about being under the custody of fundamentalist Christians.
Anonymouse can pay for all the illegals healthcare and welfare.
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