Here's the complete (are they ever really complete?) version of the stubby "Stimulus Info" forward. The closer is actually funny. Note how organic produce gained some patriot status. So, does the Right actually shop at farmer's markets? Maybe so. Maybe. So. -m
------begin forward------
| Stimulus Payment Info. > > > "This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format: > > Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment? > A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. > > Q. Where will the government get this money? > A. From taxpayers. > > Q. So the government is giving me back my own money? > A. Only a smidgen. > > Q. What is the purpose of this payment? > A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy. > > Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ? > A. Shut up. > > > Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely: > > If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China. > If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs. > If you purchase a computer it will go to India. > If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic). > If you buy a car it will go to Japan. > If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan. > > And none of it will help the American economy. > > We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer and wine (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US. |
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6 comments:
This is referring to one of Bush's stimulus checks, not the current ARRA stimulus bill...
That doesn't surprise me in the least. If we know anything about these rw forwards, its that they'll be recycled and reused for years, regardless of how little sense it makes.
I can has legalized prostitution?
Yeah, that will go over with the base.
Amazing that sending people money is not at all what the democrats want to do but rather exactly what the republicans want to do.
I am a firm believer that a person is born a republican and, after growing beyond a primitive stage, can ascend to an enlightened state of virtually any party that is NOT republican.
So many are still waiting to evolve...
Boy, the author of this sure does hate America, since they imply that the only American businesses are tattoo shops, liquor shops and brothels.
Hmm, on second thought, maybe they just live near a military base.
P.S. to author: Taiwan hasn't been the primary source of our useless crap in about ten years. Most computer parts are either made in Hong Kong or Taiwan, and assembled in Mexico or Ireland, and the bulk of the profits go to US companies like Dell and Gateway.
I've actually heard it the exact opposite, that we're all born democratic but become republican once and if we make over 100.000. The truly ironic thing is that the two party system is a myth, that we are governed by a one party system whose individual members are the representatives of their campaign contributors. The differences in policy is simply the propaganda produced by the opposing interests. And the American public is caught in the middle.
End the Fed!!!
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