Fwd: FW: Four cats

Four Cats

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.

The first man was an Engineer,
the second man was an Accountant,
the third man was a Chemist, and
the fourth man was a Government Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called his cat,
'T-square, do your stuff.'
T-square pranced over to the desk,
took out some paper and pen and promptly
drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.
Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better.

He called his cat and said,
'Spreadsheet, do your stuff.'
Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies.
He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.
Everyone agreed that was pretty good!

But the Chemist said his cat could do better.
He called his cat and said,
'Measure, do your stuff.'
Measure got up, walked to the fridge,

took out a quart of milk,
got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard
and poured exactly 8 ounces
without spilling a drop into the glass.

Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

Then the three men turned to the
Government Employee and said,
'What can your cat do?'

The Government Employee called his cat and said,
'Coffee Break, do your stuff..'
Coffee Break jumped to his feet........

ate the cookies...... ..
drank the milk........
shit on the paper.......

screwed the other three cats.......
claimed he injured his back while doing so.......

filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions.......

put in for Workers' Compensation. .......... .....and
went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.




ferschitz said...

Oh, gee, thanks Tea Party. Seriously. NOW it all becomes very clear to me. If I had just read this "joke" before, then I would have understood why so-called "government run" health care wouldn't work.

Why didn't you just say this before? Sure would've saved us all a lot of time. And hey: I'm sure that anyone who reads this would've "gotten" it.

Buttheads. The epitome of stupidity, and as usual, not even slightly amusing.

Anonymous said...

Laws that give workers a certain amount of time off for time worked are bad.

Laws that require safe working conditions are bad.

Compensation for on-the-job injuries is bad.

Government services provided by governement workers are non-existant. (Make sure to remind the next soldier, cop, firefighter, schoolteacher, librarian, sanitation worker, health and safety inspector, or public-hopital nurse you meeet about this fact.)

Also, food and sanitation are luxuries. (And sex is dirty, so throwing in the word "screwed" makes everything funnier.)

How do you know?

Because we can make up idiotic jokes in which stupid anthropomorphic cats do stupid things, that's how.

Now be a good little idiot and go vote against your own interests!

Tootseye said...

If "government run" health care is just so horrid that it makes conservatives' cats do bad things, then I guess all those older Tea Party members are not on Medicare? because it's government run, and, by definition, "doesn't work."


What's that you say? Oh, you like Medicare? Just do not like "government run" health care? Oh, right, got it!

Thanks for clearing that up. Makes perfect sense to me.

katz said...

Rule #1 of humor:

Never put a moral at the end of a joke.

That's all.

Marc with a C said...

Wow. Talk about really padding the hell out of a good joke for a mediocre punchline.

gruaud said...

...because LIBERALS. That's why.

Anonymous said...

this is a variant of an old joke. The version I heard was doctor, engineer and lawyer and the punch line is the dog screws the other two dogs and then plays golf. Hardee-har.

Anonymous said...

If this was on a piece of paper, I'd shred it to put in my cat's kitty litter. However, my kitty is smart and discerning, so I think he might find it offensive even to take a crap on this junk.

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