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FW: ACTUAL PASSPORT LETTER-----HILARIOUS!

ACTUAL PASSPORT LETTER-----HILARIOUS!

This letter is a thing of beauty (even if the language is a bit rough).. You definitely feel the guy's pain! An actual letter to the passport office...

Dear Sirs,

>I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a cable TV from them back in 1987, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.
>
>For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my social security card, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance card, my driver's license, on the last eight damn passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done at election times.
>
>Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!
>
>I apologize, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my address.
>
>What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthal asses working there!
>
>Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach.
>
>And would someone please tell me, why would you care whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!
>
>Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city and get another copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some idiot to confirm that it's really me on the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic morons) Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're totally pissed off!
>
>Signed - An Irate Citizen.
>
>P.S.. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 ........I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had security clearances up the yingyang..........However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN INDIA !
>
>Sincerely,
>
>You Sure In The Hell Should Know Who I Am.

8 comments:

gruaud said...

This was the kid in school who spent more time
bitching about the fact that he had homework
than actually doing it.

womzilla said...

I've seen this one before but until now I hadn't been struck by the fact that the complaint about having to go somewhere else for the birth certificate is an artifact of (wait for it...) states' rights. Passports are federal documents, birth certificates are state.

And the sheer ignorance of the farm paragraph is breathtaking. What type of city-dwelling anti-American not-really-one-of-us must he be not to understand that foreign farm animals are 100% diseased?

Right-winger FAIL.

Anonymous said...

Holy Hell what a whiner.

First conservatives bitch and moan about the Census and how evil it is that the government wants your personal info. Now they complain that the government doesn't automatically know everything about them down to their favorite ice cream color.

Complaining about them not knowing your address? Because no one could ever receive mail at a different place than their permanent address, or move, or get pick up their passport form instead of having it mailed to them. The ignorance is astounding.

Having renewed my passport once, I don't recall any of this aggravation. I filled out a form, turned in my old passport, a picture, and a check, and that was that. Not the easiest thing in the world but certainly not a terrible ordeal. Given the value of an American passport I'd say its well worth it.

ferschitz said...

Also filled with the usual racial profiling bulls***, without which it wouldn't be a "real" rightwing forward.

Yeah, I love it that all these tea partiers are refusing to fill out their census forms right now because of some as yet undefined government plot to do... ??? something or other (like: figure out how to define districts for congressional reps, but gee, there *has to be* something nefarious in that, for sure, bc, ya know, there's an AA prez). But then when they are asked to fill out a form to renew their passports, suddenly the gov't is supposed to have the exact same info that's asked on the census form to be totally available on a giant database somewhere readily available to every single gov't dept from the local up through the federal.

1. Rightwingers are lazy
2. Rightwingers are whiners
3. Rightwingers make no sense
4. Cognitive dissonance R rightwingers
5. Rightwingers are humor-impaired

texaslib said...

If this letter was an accounting of true events (it's not), here are my thoughts:

1. If you're renewing your passport but have to submit a birth certificate, then you let your passport expire for many years.
1.a. If you were on top of your personal affairs, you wouldn't let this happen.
1.b. Don't lose copies of your birth certificate. This makes you prone to identity theft. See 1.a.
2. If this is your eighth passport, that puts you at at least 60 years old.
2.a. The math: 1st passport when you're born; renewed immediately every 5 years, until you're over the age of 18 = 4 passports, 20 years of age. Renewed immediately thereafter every single time (except THIS time, see 1.a.). You're about 63. You'd think you'd have the process down enough to renew on time. See 1.a. for admonition.
3. They mailed you your passport application simply because you requested it and were too lazy to pick it up from the post office yourself, or were too cheap to print it up off the internet. Do you also expect them to fill out the application as well? Lazy.
4. In an age of Right wingers wanting people to give ten forms of ID to vote, don't you think it's reasonable to ask them to verify personal information before receiving a document allowing them to exit and reenter the sacred USA an unlimited number of times?
4.a. If you've had security clearances "up the yingyang," then you should know the importance of verifying said data. You're just lazy.
4.b. You're not scared that a corporation has held onto your data for 23 years just for making a purchase with them? Man, you're stupid.
5. Ahh, you're white. That explains it. Of course white people don't do anything wrong, and therefore should not have to submit to security checks that non-whites have to submit to.
5.a. Oh, except for McVeigh, his accomplice, The Unabomber, the crazy dude who shot the abortion doc, Vernon Powell (aka David Koresch)...

I would have had more material, but previous commentators beat me to it.

Bebe 99 said...

Do wingers really think random-scatter anger like this is funny?

I guess when angry-grampa joined the military over 30 years ago he gave them his personal information ONCE and then they were on their own to remember who angry-grampa was for the next 30 years.

Anonymous said...

And yet when we try to get portable medical records to avoid this very kind of runaround, people think the government is trying to brand the number of the beast on our foreheads.

Rockman013 said...

Get your facts straight. This was written by a Canadian.

The letter is full of things not required by the U.S> State Dept for renewing a passport, I know, since I have renewed mine.

See: http://message.snopes.com/showthread.php?t=69393&page=2

 
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