Fwd: Golf Czar

Obama has now appointed a Golf Czar. Announcements were just made of
major rule changes in the game of golf which will become effective
March 2010. This is only a preview as the complete rule book is being
rewritten as we speak. Here are a few basic changes:

Golfers with handicaps - below 10 will have their green fees increased
by 35%. - between 11 and 18 will see no increase in green fees. -
above 18 will get a $25 check each time they play.

The dollar amount placed in bets will be as follows: -for handicaps
below 10, an additional $10. -between 11 and 18, no additional amount.
-above 18, you will receive the total amount in the pot even if you do
not play.

The term "gimme" will be changed to "entitlement" and will be used
as follows: -handicaps below 10, no entitlements. -handicaps from 11
to 17, entitlements for putter length putts. -handicaps above 18, if
your ball is on green, no need to putt, just pick it up.
These entitlements are intended to bring about fairness and, most
importantly, equality in scoring.

In addition, a Player will be limited to a maximum of one birdie or
six pars in any given round. Any excess must be given to those fellow
players who have not yet scored a birdie or par. Only after all
players have received a birdie or par from the player actually making
the birdie or par,can that player begin to count his pars and birdies

The current USGA handicap system will be used for the above purposes
but the term 'net score' will be available only for scoring those
players with handicaps of 18 and above. This is intended to
'redistribute' the success of winning by making sure that in every
competition, the above 18 handicap players will post only 'net score'
against every other player's gross score.

These new Rules are intended to CHANGE the game of golf.

Golf must be about Fairness. It should have nothing to do with Ability.


Anonymous said...

I don't play golf so that is cool with me.

Anonymous said...

Golf must be about Fairness. It should have nothing to do with Ability.

I'm pretty sure whoever wrote this has no idea what the handicap system of golf actually is.

For those who don't play, the handicap system is a way for players to try and even out the game. When making use of the handicap system, those with higher handicaps (weaker players) are allowed extra strokes on the more difficult holes.

So the handicap system is already set up to level the playing field for players of different ability levels.

Its kind of ironic. Obviously golf does not have a great history of egalitarianism. Its clearly a sport which has skewed towards the upper classes for most of his existence. Yet it already has this "redistributive" element to the game in order to make things even. So does this mean that golfers are secretly a bunch of socialists?

ferschitz said...

I'm a beginner on the fairways, but I agree with Anon. They've chosen Golf as the metaphor so that upper class rich people can feel victimized by how much they are being ripped off by BHO.

Yet Golf always has had this egalitarian, level the playing field aspect to it with handicap system.

The people paid to write these screeds are really pushing the envelope to find some way for these people to feel victimized.

Dumb analogy.

bendk said...

Ugh, next thing you know these socialists will have public courses (which will lead to the death of private ones)

gruaud said...

Idiotic, but what else is new?

I think I'd probably faint if I ever came across a RWF
that was truthful, intelligent, and fair-minded.

gruaud said...

...or funny.

I'd even settle for funny.

Anonymous said...

Scratch golfer and loyal Democrat here. This is really just stupid.


Tootseye said...

San Diego public golf course, Torrey Pines, was host to the 2008 PGA U.S. Open. GAH!!!! Socialism, facism, Hitler comes back from the dead, and Tiger Woods is partially AA just like BHO. Lord deliver us, what is this world coming to??? Open to the (gasp, sob) public golf courses will be the ruination of all that we hold dear to WASPs everywhere!!

Anonymous said...

Ah, yes, Forest Hills Country Club, where the fabled ASU Golf Invitational had to change it's rules to "permit" that "boy" Tiger to play on their lily white greens.

Sigh, oh for the good old days when the "boys" knew their place was for serving the Bourbon & Branch with white gloves on while bowing & scraping, and NOT for beating the pants off of good, clean WASPs on the fairways.

Boo hoo hooo hoooo, sigh, sob, Ize jest a racist iz all.

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