FW: HOW MOSES GOT THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

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Subject: HOW MOSES GOT THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! 
 
 
 
How Moses Got the Ten Commandments 

God went to the Arabs and said, 
"I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better."

The Arabs asked, "What are Commandments?"

And the Lord said, "They are rules for living.."

"Can you give us an example?"

"Thou shall not kill."

"Not kill?    We're not interested."
 
 
So He went to the Blacks and said, "I have Commandments."

The Blacks  wanted an example, and the Lord said, 
"Honor thy Father and Mother." 
"Father? We don't know who our fathers are.    We're not interested."
 
Then He went to the Mexicans and said,  
"I have Commandments."

The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said "Thou shall not steal."

"Not steal?    We're not interested."
 
Then He went to the French and said, 
"I have Commandments."

The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, "Thou shall not commit adultery."

"Not commit adultery?   We're not interested."  
 
Finally, He went to the Jews and said,
"I have Commandments."

"Commandments?" They said, "How much are they?"
"They're free."

"We'll take 10."
 
 
 
There, that should offend just about everybody.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

To bad there is no commandment which says "Thou shall not be a whiny, hypocritical, racist prick"

Honestly not sure how they didn't make the cut. Would have been way more useful than a prohibition against coveting or graven images.

Anonymous said...

And then God went to the Rich White Men, and said, "I have Commandments!"
The Rich White Men said, "Do we actually have to follow them?"
"Oh no," said God, "rules are for children, poor people, minorities, and women! They don't apply to Rich White Men!"
"Okay!" said the Rich White Men. "Give us these Commandments so that we may hypocritically preach them at others, for our own convenience!"
And God did so.

And that's how the Republican Party came to be.

CharlieE said...

Funny; there's nothing there to offend white Christians.

ferschitz said...

I, too, find it *interesting* that there's nothing in this racist, nasty, bullying screed that is offensive to/about white Christians.

Wonder why that is??

Rob Pollock said...

Then God went up to the white christians and they too said they wanted an example. The LORD said... "Thou shalt not bear false witness against your neighbour."
"Sorry, we are not interested."

 
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