Lost in America 
Well, early Saturday morning we learned that Congressman Paul Ryan, 
Republican from Wisconsin, is to be Mitt Romney's pick for the next 
Vice President of The United States. 

What are we to think of this selection?  He's not a graduate of 
Columbia University.  He's not a graduate of Harvard.  He wasn't 
Selected as the President of the Harvard Law Review.  He didn't get a 
Special free quota scholarship ride to any prestigious university and, 
Instead, had to work his way through Miami University of Ohio.  For 
God's sake the man drove the Oscar Mayer Wiener Truck one summer and 
Waited tables another! 
One morning when Paul Ryan was sixteen years old he went in to wake 
his father up and found him dead of a heart attack.  He didn't write 
Two books about that experience.  Instead, he assumed the role of 
adult at an early age, never having the luxury to pursue youthful drug 
use and the art of socialist revolution. 

Instead, Paul Ryan and his mother took his grandmother, suffering from 
Alzheimers, into the household and served as the primary care provider 
for his grandma.  His grandma wasn't the Vice President of the Bank of 
Hawaii so she could offer nothing in return, except the element of 

Once Paul Ryan got his BA in Economics from Miami University of Ohio 
he was hired as a staff economist in Wisconsin Senator Kastin's 
office.  The job must have not paid well because young Ryan 
moonlighted as a waiter and fitness trainer.  No one offered him a 
"token honor" position at the University of Chicago and a $200,000 
dollar a year salary. 
When a still young Paul Ryan returned to Wisconsin to run for Congress 
he didn't demonize his opponent and dig up dirt to shovel against him. 
He waited until the standing Congressman vacated the office before 
seeking the office.   In Janesville, Wisconsin they don't have a big 
political machine to promote you, to criminalize your opponent; 
instead Paul Ryan had to go door to door and sit at kitchen tables and 
listen to his future constituents. 

After getting elected to Congress Paul Ryan didn't triumphantly march 
into Washington, buy himself a Georgetown townhouse and proceed over 
to K Street to rub elbows with lobbyists.  He bunked in his 
Congressional office and used the house gym for showers and a fresh 
change of clothes. 

Paul Ryan then married and took his bride back to Janesville.  He 
lives on the same street he lived on as a kid and shares the 
neighborhood with eight other members of the Ryan clan.  He hunts with 
the local Janesville hunt club and attends PTA meetings and other 
civic functions. 

For those who can't make those public functions, Paul Ryan bought an 
old bread truck, converted it into a "mobile constituent office" and 
drives around to meet with those who need his help and attention. 

No, I don't know if we can vote for a guy like this.  He doesn't have 
a regal pedigree; he's Irish for God's sake!  No one awarded him a 
Nobel Peace Prize two months after getting elected.  No one threw 
flowers or got "chills down their leg" as a he took his seat in 

What is most despicable about Paul Ryan is that he has had the nerve 
to write the House Budget for three years in a row.  He is brazen 
and heartless in advocating in that budget for a $5 trillion 
reduction in federal spending over the next ten years!  The House 
passed his budget three years in a row and three years in a row the 
Democratically controlled Senate has let it die in the upper house, 
without ever proposing a budget of their own.   What is wrong with 
this guy?  If Congress were to cut $5 trillion dollars from the budget 
where would the President get the money to give $500 million dollars 
to a bankrupt Solyndra?  Or $200 million dollars for bankrupt Energy 
1?  Or $11 billion dollars to illegal aliens filing INIT, non-resident 
tax returns to claim child tax credits, even for their children living in Mexico? 

I don't know.  Paul Ryan seems heartless to me.  He keeps wanting to 
cut government waste, he keeps wanting to put a halt to those big GSA 
conventions in Vegas and, worse, he keeps trying to make people look 
at that $16.7 trillion dollar deficit!  The guy's no fun at all! 

Who wants a numbers cruncher?  Who wants someone spoiling the party by 
showing folks the bill?  Nothing will spoil a party quicker than 
sending the host the bill before the party's over. 

Party hearty folks!  At least until November.


Anonymous said...

Neat story. The only problem, as always, is that it's all fiction. Ryan came from a wealthy and influential family...

As usual, the facts aren't getting in the way.


Anonymous said...

Surprised it took this long. Usually the gushing, slobbering hagiography of the new Republican is out within a week of their arrival on the national scene. Someone must be asleep at the propaganda switch.

Anonymous said...

He is brazen
and heartless in advocating in that budget for a $5 trillion
reduction in federal spending over the next ten years!

Why yes, he is brazen and heartless. I totally agree with that statement. Is this the start of finding common ground in our political landscape, the fact that we can all agree that Paul Ryan is a cruel hearted bastard?

ferschitz said...

No one threw flowers or got "chills down their leg" as a he took his seat in Congress.

WTF is this supposed to mean? I don't even get it. How is this supposed to "inspire" me about the Zombie-eyed Granny killer?

As a prior Anon has pointed out, this is - typically - full of lies, spin, hype and bullshit. I, too, am surprised that the propoganda machine took so long to produce this propoganda, as the rightwing think tank hacks can "write" their lies in their sleep by this time.

Ho hum.

By the way, the CBO has given Ryan's budget plan very mixed reviews:


Marc with a C said...

"Instead, Paul Ryan and his mother took his grandmother, suffering from
Alzheimers, into the household and served as the primary care provider
for his grandma. His grandma wasn't the Vice President of the Bank of
Hawaii so she could offer nothing in return, except the element of

Except for that trust fund worth about half a million dollars. Financially speaking, Ryan's dad's death was the best thing that happened to him.

"No one awarded him a
Nobel Peace Prize two months after getting elected."

As long as we're on topic, do you know how many pieces of legislation Ryan has sponsored which have been passed into law since 1999?


But hey, he has killer abs, attends PTA meetings, and once worked as a waiter, so...

Kudos to him.

Winky chupa mucho

Anonymous said...

LOL - Muy comico! ;-)

Winky ;-)

Buy weed said...

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Anonymous said...

I am sure Paul Ryan went over to K street, becuase he met his bride while she was a tobacco lobbyist.

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