Fw: Funniest joke of 2011

A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the oasis, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand, selling ties.
   The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?"
 
The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5."
 
The Taliban shouted, "Idiot! I do not need an over-priced tie. I need water!
 I should kill you, but I must find water first!"
 
   "OK," said the old Jewish man, "It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you need. Shalom."
 
  Cursing, the Taliban staggered away over the hill. Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead & said,
Your f*cking brother won't let me in without a tie!"

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow, so according to this email Jews wouldn't give a dying man a drink of water? Sounds anti-semetic to me.

ferschitz said...

1. Is this supposed to be a "joke"??

2. If so, is this supposed to be funny??

Anti-semitic and basically not at all funny.

Typical rightwing think tank bilge pooped out to pit conservatives against the "other." Nice going. Not funny. Bigots!

Anonymous said...

First this is a joke… Not a funny one at all, but a joke none-the-less.

Next, the Taliban wasn't dying, he was just desperate for water.
Looks like he wanted it for free. And he was upset that no one had any at that moment.
He would rather suffer and curse the seller for not having any.
The Seller of Ties did say Shalom (Hebrew word meaning peace, completeness) as a farewell word.

But you are correct. No need to say Jewish or Taliban. That just polarizes things.

To make this more accurate and less polarizing, the word "Conservative" could replace the Seller of Ties.
A person who works for a living and provides a service for profit (but only to those not in need of emergency care).

The Taliban could be replaced by the word "Progressive". A person who is constantly wanting immediate gratification.
Wanting a product for nothing, and is constantly angry because he is always lost in the desert and wants someone to save his sorry ass.

Mysophobe said...

Your characterization of progressives:
"A person who is constantly wanting immediate gratification"
Conservative: "When is Obama going to fix everything!?!"

"Wanting a product for nothing"
Conservative: "Stop confiscating my money to pay for government services I use everyday!!!"

"constantly angry"
Conservative: cheering for executions and people dying from lack of health care, booing soldiers.

"Wants someone to save his sorry ass"
Conservative: TARP1, TARP2, conservative corporate welfare

gruaud said...

We're angry because you support policies that put us in jeopardy, including your own dumb asses

We're angry because you conservatives have lost your souls to extremists and propaganda merchants.

Talk about lost in the desert.


And your 'wanting a product for nothing' snippiness: you're bitching about Health Care, amirite?

Well, to compassionate, sane people: health care is a right, not some commodity that can be exploited for gain. That... you will never, ever get. You guys really do need your own country.

Anonymous said...

Gruaud said, "You guys really do need your own country."

Answer: We have it. You should move to France. You would be happier there...
I hear they love socialists who whine like you do. :)

gruaud said...

It's not yours yet. You already lost one war over it and you'll lose this one, too.

Although European social democracies have it all over the hyper-capitalistic corporate whoredom over here, it's true.

Now shut up, I'm watching baseball.

Anonymous said...

Answer: We have it.

And which country would that be? Last I heard the confederacy was dead.

Anonymous said...

Next, the Taliban wasn't dying, he was just desperate for water.

Wandering through the burning desert with no water, desperate for a drink. Yup, no threat to life there.

A person who works for a living and provides a service for profit (but only to those not in need of emergency care).

Yup, those in dire need can go fuck off and die in a ditch. The GOP has made the abundantly clear.


"Progressive". A person who is constantly wanting immediate gratification.


Yup, being a progressive is so easy and profitable. Fighting tooth and nail against corporate monsters and wingnut assholes at every turn is a piece of cake. Not nearly as difficult or low paying as slurping at the teat of the wingnut welfare machine.

Valeyard said...

So the joke here is about basic commodities being controlled by monopolies and cronyism, right?

Anonymous said...

Anon is right about this story being a good analogy for conservatives and progressives.

A progressive believes basic necessities like water in a desert are things we should make sure people aren't desperate for. Keep in mind, the desperate man was willing to pay for the water -- he couldn't because the shopkeeper was only selling ties (that were secret passes to his brother's restaurant).

A conservative is only concerned with making a personal profit and doesn't care about others suffering for his own greed. And as we can see from Anon's example, he is willing to demonize and antagonize others until they snap at him, all to support his views.

Mysophobe said...

When adolescent conservatives come here to catch up on the latest hateful conservative humor, you know you're doing something right. Them breathlessly trying to defend neoconservatism is even more precious, like an ape volunteering themselves into captivity at the zoo. Thanks for what you do, MRWD. Knowing in advance what idiotic teabagger crap my dad is going to say when I visit him has improved my life immensely.

Hooray4US said...

The Taliban could be replaced by the word "Progressive". A person who is constantly wanting immediate gratification.
Wanting a product for nothing, and is constantly angry because he is always lost in the desert and wants someone to save his sorry ass.


Boy, talk about conservative brainwashing. Neat way to create your very own nasty diatibing definition of what conservatives *wish* to believe about progressives. Of course, the fact that it's not based remotely in reality - rather it's a fictional fairy tale yelled at them by Rush Limbaugh - is merely an inconvenient truth.

And our conservative "friend," conveniently *ignores* the bigotry and stupidly nastiness of this so-called "joke."

As they say in the south (which should be good for someone with such Confederate values): "Why how nice."

Valeyard said...

And our conservative "friend," conveniently *ignores* the bigotry and stupidly nastiness of this so-called "joke."

Hey, the guy said "Shalom" while smugly denying a dying man a drink. That makes it okay.

gruaud said...

Hey anon con, some books (aaiiieee! It burns!) for you to read...

The Mind of the South; W. J. Cash

Confederates in the Attic; T. Horwitz

The Modern Ku Klux Klan; H. P. Fry

...for starters. If you have the intellectual curiosity to drill deeper, good for you.

Yeah, the confederacy is dead, sure it is. Are you willfully ignorant or eternally stupid? I'm curious.

Ha ha! Just kidding!

I already know the answer.

 
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