Subject: Fw: Lemon....love it
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money.
Many people had tried .... over time: weightlifters, longshoremen, etc., but nobody could do it. One day, this scrawny little fellow came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a small voice, "I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said, "OK"; grabbed the lemon; and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little fellow. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence .... as the man clenched his little fist around the lemon .... and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man: "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?" The little fellow quietly replied: "I work for the IRS." |
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10 comments:
FALSE!
Why?
The scrawny IRS employee would only be able to squeeze six or more drops of lemon juice from the tax returns of the 1%. The tax returns of the 99% are completely tapped out these days providing welfare to the mega-rich, as well as running what remains of our economy.
Since the 1% don't pay their fair share of taxes - and haven't in a long time - there's no way the scrawny IRS staffer would even know how to squeeze more lemon juice from that lemon.
Rightwing humor FAIL, but I give it 1 point for not being racist, bigoted or sexist. Just typical "libertarian" b.s.
This is pretty funny. You just have to change “little fellow” to Mitt Romey and “IRS” to Bain Capital and it makes a lot more sense…
Obozo himself accepted SIX FIGURES' WORTH OF POLITICAL DONATIONS From Executives of BAIN CAPITAL.
'President' Obama has based his entire reelection campaign on a vicious, dishonest assault on Mitt Romney's business career. If Bain Capital is so bad, why did Obozo take nearly $120,000 in donations from them? Obama/Obozo's actions are the height of hypocrisy!
IMPEACH THE LYING FRAUD!
Obama accepted "nearly $120,000" in donations from Bain?
Maybe. So?
Mitt Romney worked for Bain for years ripping off the 99% by running successful businesses into the ground & helping the CEOs walk off with the profits. Then he told his rich doners that Losers like the sock puppet troll are part of the 47% ripping off the upper crust. It's on video on the Internet for all the world to see.
What's your point, troll? That you'd rather have a super-duper mega-rich .0001%er ripping you off & lying to you then a Black Fella?
Yeah, thought so...
Racist loser.
TRAITOR
"A nation can survive its fools, and even the ambitious.
But it cannot survive treason from within.
For the Traitor appears not as a Traitor, but speaks in accents familiar to his citizens and wears their face and their arguments.
He appeals to the baseness that lies deep in the hearts of all men.
He rots the soul of a nation and works secretly to undermine the pillars of the city, infecting the body politic so that it can no longer resist." --Cicero 106-43 BC
How he already knew the likes of Obama. Amazing!
WELFARE WAS NEVER INTENDED TO BE
A CAREER OPPORTUNITY
Intending to be given out to
ILLEGAL INVADERS - but they are getting it.
IMPEACH THE LIAR-IN-CHIEF!
THE RESULTS OF
"REDISTRIBUTION"
MORE FOOD STAMPS
In June of 2012, a Record 46.7 Million Americans Received Food Stamps.
(Bloomberg, 9/4/12)
MORE POVERTY
In 2011, 46.2 MILLION People Lived in Poverty - NEARLY ONE IN SIX AMERICANS.
(The Associated Press 9/12/12)
FEWER JOBS
Since President Obama Took Office;
The U.S. Economy has LOST 261,000 JOBS
(BLS.Gov, Accessed 9/7/12)
And NOW in 2013...it Gets even more Dismal to say the Least!
What a LOSER! America will NEVER see Better Days as long as this guy remains in office!
OBAMA
voted against the Born Alive Infant Protection Act FOUR times, Horrifyingly voting Against Protecting BABIES who SURVIVED Abortion and voting in favor of LEAVING THEM TO DIE. A vote against this legislation was a vote for Infanticide. jillstanek.com/2008/02/links-to-barach-obamas-votes-on-Illinois-born-alive-infant-protection-act
On his Third Day in office, Obama repealed the PRO-LIFE "Mexico City Policy." By doing this, Obama made groups that PERFORM and PROMOTE ABORTION eligible for U.S. foreign aid funds. (Life News 1/23/2009)
PLANNED PARENTHOOD's
Funding Jumped from 33% to nearly 50% - over $487 MILLION in TAXPAYER FUNDING now goes to the ABORTION Giant (under Obama and his administration). This is almost Half a BILLION DOLLARS that AMERICAN FAMILIES are FORCED to PAY in TAX DOLLARS to the Nation's Largest ABORTION Provider, PLANNED PARENTHOOD. (liveaction.org)
Obama REFUSED to sign an Emergency budget, putting funding the Military at risk, until Planned Parenthood Abortion Mills was Included in the budget. This was following Live Actions Sex Trafficking investigation, showing PLANNED PARENTHOOD AIDING and ABETTING the SEX-TRAFFICKERS of UNDERAGE GIRLS. (www.liveaction.org/traffick/)
OBAMA;
has pushed for his "pet legislation," The Affordable Care Act (ObamaCare), which would help fund "community health centers" (PLANNED PARENTHOOD is their Prime target). Additionally, the HHS mandate will force all AMERICANS to FUND ABORTION KILLING and CONTRACEPTION, with NO exceptions for religious institutions or religious individuals who are vehemently against ABORTION KILLING and CONTRACEPTION.
If you're against it, then don't do it. It's that simple. The rest of us think you are full of shit, and won't allow you to impose your childish will on the rest of us. You need to learn to be fucking tolerant or you can fuck the fuck off.
Because we all know that contraception is a far worse sin than the raping of the economy and 99% of the United States.
So what do you do to not get pregnant, "Sheila"? Vatican Roulette or watching Rush Limbaugh?
What's that? Shapeshifting again? Good bye, Sheila.
Good luck with your new dimwit identity.
More Lies of epic proportion. I believe that pregnancy terminations are something like 3% of Planned Parenthood's operations.
What PP mainly does is provide cost-effective family planning and female health care for millions of women, including providing cost-effective mamograms and other health services.
Nasty-minded rightwingers, like our paid (by the Kochs) sock puppet troll, shriek out lies about PP, which they want to close down. Great. So women who don't have a lot of money have less options for wellness care and family planning. You know: family planning - that thing you do to AVOID an unwanted pregancy.
The viscious nastiness & completely illogical worthlessness of this is just so disheartening to witness. Lies, lies, lies.
And no, PP is definitely NOT involved in sex trafficing. I would say: What is WRONG with you people? But clearly, what's wrong is that your brainwashed, nasty, evil-minded shitheads hell-bent on making everyone's life as miserable as yours.
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