FW: Woman on 4th Marriage

Subject: FW: Woman on 4th Marriage
 


Subject: Woman on 4th Marriage



A woman who had been married three times walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding. 


"Of course, madam," replied the sales clerk, "exactly what type and color dress are you looking for?" 


The bride to be said: "A long frilly white dress with a veil." 


The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said, "Please don't take this the wrong way, but gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for brides who are being married the first time - for those who are a bit more innocent, if you know what I mean? Perhaps ivory or sky blue would be nice?" 


"Well," replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk's directness, "I can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate. Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first-time bride. 


You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding, he died as we were checking into our hotel.” 


"My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon that we had that wedding annulled immediately and never spoke to each other again." 


"What about your third husband?" asked the sales clerk. 


"That one was a Democrat ," said the woman, "and every night for four years, he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be, but nothing ever happened."

17 comments:

gruaud said...

Today's democrats are either blue dog conservatives or DLC corporate whores.

Liberals, on the other hand, deliver.

Providing they can get elected in today's 'corporations uber alles' climate.

Anonymous said...

I wonder if her 4th husband is a Republican. He'll probably promise to really rock her world in bed... but only if she agrees to make the Bush tax cuts permanent.

And actually, the white wedding dress originally came into fashion as a way for the bride and her family to show off. If you could afford a fancy white dress which was really only suitable for a wedding and not everyday use it was a sign that you were doing well and had money to burn.

Zeno said...

Just curious: How many of her husbands were Newt Gingrich?

Valeyard said...

I wonder if her 4th husband is a Republican.

She'd try to get him to seal the deal every night, but they'd never reach any cloture.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure she'll have plenty to look forward to when she marries a Republican: Sexual harassment lawsuits, prostitution scandals, RentBoy.com patronage, bathroom foot-tapping...

sean said...

Once again you libs with your superior sense of humors, way to break down a joke like it is a political opinion piece.

ferschitz said...

So Sean, if it's NOT a political opinion piece, the what the heck is this?? I haz confused...

I guess if you're Callista Gingrich, you may be pushing to obtain more taxpayer funded Tiffany baubles & other nifty "gifts" before your hubby decides to unceremoniously dump you for a newer, younger model. Just saying...

gruaud said...

Well, gee, Sean...it is a political opinion piece because it zings a political party. Hey, if they're actually funny, I'll laugh -- even at Democrats.

But RWF's are rarely funny because they shoehorn conservative tropes at the expense of an actual punch line.

The comic Mallard Fillmore is a classic example. Tinsley sets up and knocks down his straw men so relentlessly that he frequently forgets to tell a joke.

sean said...

HA, so a joke regarding a political party is an opinion piece. awesome.

Anonymous said...

How about this Sean: you guys try writing some actually funny jokes, and we won't have to spend so much time mocking the unfunny ones.

Mysophobe said...

I've never seen one up close before. Is it true that they have no sense of humor? Say something funny, Sean. Somebody poke him with a stick or something.

Hooray4US said...

Nope, conservatives don't know how to be funny. At least not from what I've seen here for *years* worth of RW forwards.

I agree with gruaud: I'm quite happy to laugh out loud at a *good* (eg, that means: actually funny) joke at the expense of Democrats or lefties. But all this POS is a political hit-piece that's not even funny.

Yes, Sean, there is NO Santa Claus, and this clueless rubbish is a rightwing opinion piece. This is what that looks like. FYI. Take notes. Might be useful for future reference. Cheers.

sean said...

You nailed it, conservatives aren't funny. Your same logic must lead you to other enlightened positions like African-Americans commit all the crime, Women are inferior to men.

The shortsighted bigotry of this sight is always good for a laugh.

Anonymous said...

Your same logic must lead you to other enlightened positions like African-Americans commit all the crime, Women are inferior to men.

Nope. See, the difference is I know that there is lots of crime committed by non African Americans, and I know there are plenty of amazing women in the world.

But I've never actually seen a funny Republican. I'm not saying they don't exist, but we're gonna need some proof.

Mysophobe said...

I've seen many bigoted, mean-spirited conservatives who mistake half-clever insults for humor, but if PJ O'Rourke is your standard bearer...you're probably not funny.

gruaud said...

Sean, just say something funny.

We're all waiting.

ferschitz said...

I agree. Tell us a joke, Sean. I promise to laugh if it's funny.

And yet again, your analogy doesn't hold water. Simply by saying that I don't think conservatives have a sense of humor does not make be "bigoted" in the same way as saying that all African Americans are criminals or women are inferior to men.

That's 2 completely different things. I mean seriously: how is not be funny really going to affect you negatively in life? It's not. Let's get real.

Still waiting for a good joke, though.

 
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