Fwd: bad american

"I may have several for you today. We're starting off strong on a Monday morning. As if Mondays aren't bad enough without digital fascism right?" -Taylor

Let's see.. Dancing smileys: check. School prayer: mmm check. Mentions Jesse Jackson? Amen. Unashamed patriotic xenophobia? YES! Hooray! We have another text-book right wing forward to preserve in the favorites bin. Thanks Taylor for the excellent catch.

--begin forward--




I MUST BE A BAD AMERICAN


{ YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW MY NAME }
YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN
I Am the Liberal-Progressives Worst Nightmare. I am an American.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some Liberal governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!
I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.
I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, do it in English.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.
My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled Jerry Springer.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time watching or arguing about it.
I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut up already.
I believe if you don't like the way things are here, go back to where you came from and change your own country! This isAMERICA

If you were born here and don't like it you are free to move to any Socialist country that will have you.
I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution.
Can I get an AMEN on that one?
I also think the cops have the right to pull you over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.
And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my drivers license.
I think it's good..... And I'm proud that 'God' is written on my money.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years
I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me stuff or trying to guilt me into making 'donations' to their cause.
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.
I believe 'illegal' is illegal no matter what the lawyers think.
I believe the American flag should be the only one allowed inAMERICA!
If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.
If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know.
We want our country back!
We NEED GOD BACK IN OUR COUNTRY!

WE LIVE IN THE LAND OF THE FREE,
ONLY BECAUSE OF THE BRAVE

3 comments:

SJT said...

Xenu help us all. I thought this one was long since dead and buried. Yet there it is, with new graphics and everything.

Archduke Chocula said...

"I believe the American flag should be the only one allowed inAMERICA!"

(pic of 9-star, 10-stripe fabulously sparkly flag)

I believe that the people of a country have no right to "vote" on changing its laws, so if there's anything you don't like about it here you should go somewhere else. I don't understand how representative government is meant to work.

I believe that cats pray to Cat Jesus.

I believe that money should not say "In God we trust" but "In God, as described in the King James Bible, the ONLY legitimate version (all other versions are PER-versions) where Jesus speaks English the way He's supposed to", at least on the bills (too wordy for coins).

I believe in scare quotes. Those people looking for "donations" are really mugging you, but in a passive-aggressive way.

Leopold Stotch said...

I believe that no baby hammerhead shark is too small to throw back.

I am not afraid to pepper every right wing manifesto with generous heapings of little smiley icons, the kind preferred by lonely women in HR departments worldwide.

My heroes are people who play imaginary cowboys in westerns that never existed.

sigh.

 
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