Fwd: Two new Navy ships

"A new and completely ridiculous smear on Senator Obama." -Taylor

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Two new Navy ships

Seeing it next to the Arizona Memorial really puts its size into perspective... ENORMOUS!


When the Bridge pipes 'Man the Rail' there is a lot of rail to man on this monster: shoulder to shoulder, around 4.5 acres. Her displacement is about 100,000 tons with full complement.


Top speed exceeds 30 knots, powered by two nuclear reactors that can operate for more than 20 years without refueling

1. Expected to operate in the fleet for about 50 years

2. Carries over 80 combat aircraft

3. Three arresting cables can stop a 28-ton aircraft going 150 miles per hour in less than 400 feet


1. Towers 20 stories above the waterline
2. 1092 feet long; nearly as long as the Empire State Building is tall

3. Flight deck covers 4.5 acres

4. 4 bronze propellers, each 21 feet across, weighing 66,200 pounds

5. 2 rudders, each 29 by 22 feet and weighing 50 tons

6. 4 high speed aircraft elevators, each over 4,000 square feet


1. Home to about 6,000 Navy personnel

2. Carries enough food and supplies to operate for 90 days

3. 18,150 meals served daily

4. Distillation plants provide 400,000 gallons of fresh water from sea water daily, enough for 2,000 homes

5. Nearly 30,000 light fixtures and 1,325 miles of cable and wiring 1,400 telephones

6. 14,000 pillowcases and 28,000 sheets

7. Costs the Navy approximately $250,000 per day for pier side operation

8. Costs the Navy approximately $ 25 million per day for underway operations (Sailor's salaries included).

US Navy welcomes the

USS Barack Obama

Sunday, July 2, 2006 Jiddah, Saudia Arabia. Headed for Kuwait, the US Navy welcomed the latest member of its fleet today.

The USS Barack Obama (CVS1) set sail today from its home port of Jiddah, saudia Arabia

The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and has been commissioned in preparation for a Barack Obama presidency, and will adhere to his publicized military budget cuts.

The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 2 knots.
No diesel on this baby!

It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which, although they cannot be launched or captured on the 100 foot flight deck, form a very
menacing presence.

As a standing order there are no arms or weapons of any kind
allowed on board.

The 20 person crew is completely diversified, including members of all races, creeds, sex, and sexual orientation.

This crew, like the crew aboard the USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs.!

An onboard Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.

The ship's purpose is not defined so much as a unit of national defense, but instead in times of conflict, the USS Obama has orders to seek refuge in Saudia Arabia.

When not on maneuvers the ship
will be positioned near the Democratic National Party Headquarters along with Chuck Schumer for photo-ops. The Obama's Should be very proud.


Falyne said...

It's not the size of the ship, but the motion in the ocean...

Seriously, though, that's one of the most pathetic bits of immature "we rule they drool" wankerrific glurge I've seen in quite some time.

aabshier said...

The only reason Reagan got a CVN named after him is for the same reason they named two of the others Vinson and Stennis--they made sure the Navy got plenty of appropriations sent their way.

I see there's no plans to name a carrier the William Jefferson Clinton anytime soon.....

Leopold Stotch said...

USS REAGAN facts they forgot to add

1. Saw heavy action in WWII, in between takes on movie sets

2. Armed with over 100 ballistic surface to air missiles, bound for sale to Iran

3. Can't remember which harbor it's parked in

Anonymous said...

It is only immature because the left needs things put simply in order to understand. He was a great supporter of the troops and that is why, I am sure, his name was honored.
Put simply...it is a representation of the nonsense that Obama brings to the race. That when you don't protect yourself you will be beaten. It is human nature...the weak shall perish...History shows us that.

Dwight D. Eisenhower said...

" It is human nature...the weak shall perish...History shows us that."

Thats the attitude my fellow Roman! Er, American!

SJT said...

Hey Anon, its immature because its bullshit made up by right wing idiots that has no basis in reality. Republican defense policies have made us no safer and have wasted blood, treasure and our global reputation. Time for someone to try and clean up the mess.

Mark SJ said...

Anonymous said (whilst wiping the drool from his barely existant chin)...

"It is only immature because the left needs things put simply in order to understand."

I swear, if I ever hear the Reactionary Rightwing Republicans debate on substance and not talking-point marketing speak, I'll eat my goddamn hat.

Or, for our Republican visitor: 'Well, there you go again..."

Anonymous said...

Is This Supposed to be Funny?

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