Subject: Fwd: Ole' Blue
A young Arkansas boy goes off to college. Half way through the semester,
having foolishly squandered all of his money on his girlfriend, he calls
home.
"Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is developing!
They actually have a program here at Hendrix that will teach our dog, Ole'
Blue how to talk!"
"That's amazing," his Dad says. "How do I get Ole' Blue in that program?"
"Just send him over here with $1,000" the young Arkie says "and I'll get
him in the course."
So, his Father sends the dog and $1,000.
About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money again runs out.
The boy calls home.
"So how's Ole' Blue doing son?" his Father asks.
"Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't
believe this -- they've had such good results they have started to teach the
animals how to read!"
"Read!?" says his Father, "No kidding! How do we get Blue in that program?"
"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class."
The money promptly arrives. The Arkie and his girlfriend are able to buy
enough marijuana to last the whole semester. But our hero has a problem. At
the end of the year, his Father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor
read. Even though he was always pretty much able to lie his way out of
trouble, the Arkie asked his girlfriend to help him think of a really good
lie to tell his Dad.
She very quickly came up with a plan for him.
So she has him shoot the dog.
When he arrives home at the end of the year, his Father is all excited.
"Where's Ole' Blue? I just can't wait to see him read something and talk!"
"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just
before we left to drive home, Ole' Blue was in the living room, kicked back
in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Jo urnal, like he usually does".
"Then Ole' Blue turned to me and asked, so, is your Daddy still messing
around with that little redhead who lives down the street?"
The Father went white and exclaimed, "I hope you shot that lying damn dog
before he talks to your Mother!"
"I sure did, Dad!"
"That's my boy!"
The kid married his girlfriend, they both went on to law school in
Fayetteville . He became Governor of Arkansas and President of the United
States , and you already know what a lying bitch his girlfriend turned out
to be!
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4 comments:
Rightwing humor about animal abuse....just fucking hilarious.
No, actually, I am not aware of what a lying bitch his girlfriend turned out to be.
Please enlighten us...with facts, if you don't mind.
Bill Clinton's father died 3 months before he was born.
Yea....and Bill Clinton's horny father was also married four times. Runs in the genes.
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