Fw: Fwd: THE PERFECT DAY – January 20, 2017

date:30 November 2015 at 20:26
subject:Fw: Fwd: THE PERFECT DAY – January 20, 2017



*I got a good chuckle from this. Damned near perfect.*

    THE PERFECT DAY */*– January 20, 2017*
    *1.  President Donald Trump and Vice President Marco Rubio are 
    sworn into office.
    Carly Fiorina has been picked up by Solar Panels Dot Com and 
    it is hoped she will put this company into bankruptcy.
    
    *2. In a rare event on inauguration day, Congress convenes for an
    emergency meeting to repeal the illegal and unconstitutional
    Socialist healthcare farce known as Obamacare. The new Secretary of
    Health and Social Services Dr. Ben Carson and Under Secretary Dr.
    Rand Paul announce that an independent group of healthcare
    management professionals is hired to handle healthcare services for
    poor and low income people.  They are also assigned the duty of
    eliminating Medicare and Medicaid /FRAUD/.  Government’s costs for
    public healthcare are reduced by 90%. Healthcare insurance premiums
    for working Americans are reduced by 50%.  The move saves billions
    of taxpayer paid dollars. Healthcare service in the U.Simproves 100%.*

    *3. The Department of Homeland Security is abolished. Law
    Enforcement Responsibilities revert back to their original
    organizations, i.e. FBI, CIA, NSA, Secret Service, etc. It was found
    that the creation of DHS was a knee jerk reaction to 9-11 anyway.
    President Trump and has warned all agencies to share information and
    intel.Ted Cruz is sworn in as Attorney General and a**large cleanup
    crew is brought in to fumigate the White House and all Cabinet
    Secretary’s Offices before the new Secretary’s and President move in.*

    *4. President Trump announces the immediate removal of troops from
    Korea, Japan and Germany. (70 years is long enough). Such Troops are
    re-deployed to the U.S. Mexico border to control illegal
    immigration. Trump also orders the immediate round–up and
    deportation of all illegal Mexicans and all Muslims (legal or not).
    President Trump also orders a freeze on /All/// immigration until
    the U.S. determines what skills it needs that immigrants might have.
    New bio-encrypted Social Security ID’s are required by every
    American citizen. Anchor-Baby Birthright is abolished. All
    immigration from any other countries that represent a threat to the
    safety of American citizens is terminated indefinitely. The move
    saves American taxpayers billions of dollars. Several prisons are
    closed.*

    *5. Newly appointed Secretary of State Mike Huckabee eliminates more
    than half of the Liberal State Department career employees and
    Ambassadors.*

    *6. Newly appointed Secretary of the Treasury, John Kasich,
    announces the abolition of the IRS and displays a copy of the new
    Federal Tax Return form.  It consists of one page.  The instructions
    consist of two pages. The Federal Reserve is audited. The move saves
    American Taxpayers billions of dollars and increases tax revenue.*

    *7. Hillary Clinton is in jail, where she belongsand all of the
    funds in her illegal foundation are confiscated. Her cell is
    directly across from Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton who are serving
    time for ‘Hate Crimes”.  She bitches at them constantly from behind
    the bars of her cell in what some might call cruel and unusual
    punishment.*

    *8. Bernie Sanders is in the nuthouse, where he belongs.  His room
    is directly across from _Harry Reid,_ Nancy Pelosi, Debbie
    WassermanSchultz, Chris Matthews and Al Franken. They meet for tea
    every day at ten and discuss the success and benefits of Communism
    and Socialism throughout the world.  They also wonder when the
    “Mothership” is going to pick them up and return them to their home
    planets.*

    *9. Windows 12 is released.  It is designed for humans, doesn’t try
    to satisfy the needs of every person on the planet, doesn’t require
    a degree in nuclear physics to operate and looks just like Windows 7
    except it is easier to use. Bill Gates is voted out by the Microsoft
    Board and ordered never to set foot in Microsoft offices again.*

    *10. Barack Obama flees the United States under cover of darkness
    and penniless.  All of his stolen and illegal funds deposited in
    off-shore bank accounts have been located and confiscated. He
    returns to his homeland of Kenya before his trial for treason
    begins.  He deplanes on a remote jungle airstrip.  It was reported
    that he was last seen wandering through the jungle singing
    “HakunaMatata” with a chimp named Commie.*

    *11. Oscar Meyer announces the introduction of a new cholesterol and
    fat free pepperoni that tastes just like regular pepperoni.*

    *12. Not to be outdone, Kraft Foods announces the introduction of
    several varieties of cholesterol and fat free cheeses that taste
    just like regular cheese.*

    *13. A committee of “Real” Scientists is established and determines
    once and for all that global warming and cooling is caused by that
    big reactor in the sky, commonly known as our Sun. It is 99.99 %
    responsible for all climatic fluctuations here on earth.  Humans
    contribute an amount of change that roughly equals the nit on the
    nut of a gnat. Billions of taxpayer dollars are saved.*

    *14. Charlize Theron calls me, crying.  She tells me it was a big
    mistake dumping me back in 2000 and begs me to take her back.  I
    decline, explaining that I am happily married. She is devastated and
    cries for days. Justice is served.*

    *15. Dead people are no longer allowed to vote in Chicago, a huge
    blow for the Democrat Party in the State of Illinois.*

    *16. I receive a call from an attorney in Ireland.  He explains that
    I have inherited a brewery and coastal estate in Ireland from a
    distant relative and that I need to be in Dublin as soon as possible
    to sign the papers.  Ten hours later we tour our new vacation home. 
    There is a red Ferrari in the garage, also part of the inheritance.*
*And this my friends constitutes THE PERFECT DAY!!!!!!*

16 comments:

CharlieE said...

Newly appointed Secretary of the Treasury, John Kasich,
announces the abolition of the IRS and displays a copy of the new
Federal Tax Return form. It consists of one page.


To whom will one submit this tax return?

Hooray4US said...

Wow. That's a whole lotta cognitive dissonance, plus a whole lotta puerile teh stooopit, it burnz.

Anonymous said...

Pretty much on par for a delusional elderly person.

Anonymous said...

Translation: "Yay, white male supremecy!"

Anonymous said...

Translation: keep clapping louder for Tinkerbell!!!111!!!

ferschitz said...

It would be amusing if meant to be snarky or something, but sadly, it's meant to be for realz.

So much wrong with this that it's hard to pick just one (although CharlieE's choice is good).

I'll just go with this:

So it's nearly 2016, and just NOW these imbecilic bigoted asshats have figured out that the DHS was a "knee-jerk reaction to 9/11"? About time, fools, and waaay too little, waay too late. DHS is a huge sucking boondoggle, so it ain't going anywhere. No thanks to you TeaTardz who couldn't wait to see it implemented.

Then there's the draw down the troops in Europe, South Korea & Japan to "deploy" them on the dirty Messican border! Oh really? Isn't this from the same crowd who runs around in shit-stained undies quaking in FEAR (just wait for it since the San Berdoo mass murder) over ISIS/Syrians/whatever. So, uh, we "deploy" most of troops to "protect" the dirty Messican border from "illegals," who have stopped coming here anyway?? Yeah, that makes a heckuva lotta sense RWD. Same as it makes a heckuva lotta sense for you - an old white racist male on Medicare & Medicaid - to advocate to stop funding Medicare and Medicaid just to make sure that some darkie doesn't get it "unfairly."

These idiots are beyond hope and help.

Mike Hawk said...

"Yay, white male supremecy"??? Huh? TRY: "Yay, white male supremacy"!!!!!!

Mike Hawk

Anonymous said...

Says the all time champ at misspelling.

Try adding some fucking content that you didn't steal from someone else, you derpish asshole.

There, was that spelled nicely for you?

Agent86 said...

And if this list comes to fruition, you can write off the good old USA because this group of clowns will make Obama look like a Romper Room example of Constitutional and civil rights violations. If we're lucky we'll avoid global thermonuclear war. I gotta admit it though, it would be interesting to see Trump give Putin the "You're fired!!" cobra hand tho.

Max

Mike Hawk said...

Hey Max, you my friend, are a funny man.

Love it!

Mike Hawk

Anonymous said...

No one here needs or wants the approval of a career asshole.

Charlie Lakeland said...

Wow! that's one perfect day scenario we won't have to worry about . The Dems will win in 2016 for sure,the repubs lost to Obama twice don't think they can beat a drum in 2016*=)) rolling on the floor

Anonymous said...

New bio-encrypted Social Security ID’s are required by every
American citizen.


Sounds a lot like the "Mark of the Beast" to me. I'm sure the wingnut fundies will be totally on board with that.

CharlieE said...

New bio-encrypted Social Security ID’s are required by every
American citizen.


Sounds like Big Government overreach to me. Since when were Republicans on the record in support of that?

Anonymous said...

Big government is ok as long as it doesn't target the reich people.

Whoops, I meant the right people.

Anonymous said...

Someone actually took the time to write this awful dreck? Bassement porn in mamma's house just ain't what it used to be, I guess.

 
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