A "couple" shows up to get a marriage license and it goes like this..
''Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license."
“Names?," said the clerk. "Tim and Jim Jones." "Jones? Are you related? I do see a resemblance." "Yes, we're brothers." "Brothers? You can't get married."
"Why not? Aren't you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?"
"Yes, thousands. But we haven't had any siblings. That's incest!"
"Incest?" No, we are not gay."
"Not gay? Then why do you want to get married?
"For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other. Besides, we don't have any other prospects."
"But we're issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples who've claimed they'd been denied equal protection under the law.
If you are not gay, you can get married to a woman."
"Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I have. But just because I'm straight doesn't mean I want to marry a woman. I want to marry Jim." "And I want to marry Tim. Are you gonna discriminate against us just because we are not gay?"
"All right, all right. I'll give you your license. Next!"
"Hi. We are here to get married."
"Names?"
"John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson."
"Who wants to marry whom?"
"We all want to marry each other."
"But there are four of you!"
"That's right. You see, we're all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and me. All of us getting married together is the only way that we can express marital relationship."
"But we've only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples."
"So you're discriminating against bisexuals?"
"No, it's just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that it's just for couples."
"Since when are you standing on tradition?"
"Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere." "Who says? There's no logical reason to limit marriage to couples. The more the better.Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says the constitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a marriage license!"
"All right, all right. Next."
"Hello, I'd like a marriage license."
"In what names?"
"David Anderson."
"And the other man?"
"That's all. I want to marry myself."
"Marry yourself? What the hell do you mean?"
"Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to marry the two together. Maybe I can file a joint income-tax return."
"That does it!? I quit! You people are making a mockery of marriage!
(Don't laugh, it's just a matter of time)
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9 comments:
Slippery Slope - In critical thinking, a slippery slope is a logical fallacy - in which a person asserts that some event must inevitably follow from another without any rational argument or demonstrable mechanism for the inevitability of the event in question.
Great idea. Had I been allowed to marry myself, I might not be on my third marriage. Then again, the sex would have gotten boring.
Beyond stupid, but hypothetically, suppose this happens? What is the impact - negative or positive - on RWD?
Shorter A: none.
Not remotely amusing as a "joke;" adds nothing to the conversation about this topic.
First scenario: Won't happen, because no jurisdiction allows siblings to marry, so the couple cannot claim discrimination.
Second scenario: Won't happen, because no jurisdiction allows polygamy, so the four people involved cannot claim discrimination.
Third scenario: Won't happen, because all jurisdictions require two people to marry, so the person involved cannot claim discrimination.
They forgot to include the guy who wants to marry his dog.
You mean that they forgot to include Rick Santorum?? Lil Icky Ricky who wants to marry his doggie in the worst kind of way!
Oh yeah, like gay marriage leads directly to these scenarios... not. How stupid, but that's RWD for you.
There are people that engage in polygamy in this country already. Always have. Some just do it in ways that don't arouse suspicion; some religious sects do it sort of openly, like the Fundamentalist LDS off-shoots (and get away with it) or the early LDS church members.
I haven't noticed that those kinds of polygamy have led to hetero marriages falling apart or whatever it is this RWF is trying to imply.
Hey, I'm a polygamist.
Has worked out terrific for me.
Mike Hawk
Yeah but Mike your version of being a polygamist only revolves around deciding on whether to use your left or right hand.
@Agent86 (aka - Maxwell):
Actually, not only do I have to decide whether to
use my "left or right hand", I also have an extreme
foot fetish, so I like to jack-off with my feet and toes.
I usually use BOTH feet, though. ;-)
Mike Hawk
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