Fwd: Drafting Guys Over 60

date:Wed, Apr 29, 2015 at 11:14 AM
subject:Fwd: Drafting Guys Over 60

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards.
Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a month, leaving us more than 280,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.

HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes?? 
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!

Send this to all of your senior friends...it's in big type so they can read it.
 STILL ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Anonymous said...

Except for the sexist bit at the end, this actually isn't a bad idea. Drafting older guys to fight wars would have the effect of forcing those older guys to really think about whether or not those wars are really worthwhile. It's a lot easier to send someone else's kid to die in some stupid desert than to agree to go yourself and get shot at.

CharlieE said...

STILL ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The bar for humor is apparently pretty low in RWF-Land.

ferschitz said...

I have to admit that it made me laugh. The bit about older women was fine in this context.

On a serious note, yeah, I think it'd be a good answer to have RWD be drafted. That might make him stop and think a little.

gruaud said...

"On a serious note, yeah, I think it'd be a good answer to have RWD be drafted. That might make him stop and think a little."


Hooray4US said...

At least RW provides a reason for the giant font.

It gave me a chuckle, as well, but per the prior RWD post about having some young military person attend RWD at his death bed - whilst RWD has done nothing to really attend to the needs of active military or returned Vets, himself, in any meaningful way - I would agree that drafting RWD is just the ticket. THEN RWD might stop viewing all things military through such rose colored glasses.

Mike Hawk said...

The funny thing is the picture of that douche bag dude. He looks like your typical ASSHOLE liberal progressive...dirty looking, bearded slob with a childish and vulgar T-shirt on.

Just sayin'.....

Mike Hawk

Agent86 said...

Since we're stereotyping it's funny, I thought he looked more like your typical southern redneck batshit TP conservative - fat ass, denim jacket (the dead giveaway), sucking on a dog-turd. Unfortunately it can't be determined from this picture if he gives "toothbrush" a whole new meaning but that would be another point towards southern redneck TP conservative. The "childish and vulgar T-shirt" is also applicable to southern rednecks breeds. I've seen these "in the wild".

Anonymous said...

I'm sure you're a real prize in the looks department, troll.

Anonymous said...

I will bow to your on the ground experience "in the wild" Maxwell. Although some hippies I know haven't aged all that well, none of the ones I know look like that. Seems more rural redneck to me.

Anonymous said...

He looks like brother gruaud, the San Francisco treat.

Anonymous said...

I think he's Mike's daddy.

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