Fw: Breaking News - Bruce Jenner Transition Fires New Speculation

date:4 March 2015 at 09:08
subject:Fw: Breaking News - Bruce Jenner Transition Fires New Speculation

Breaking News - Bruce Jenner Transition Fires New Speculation

Wash. DC - Over the past year a rash of news stories surfaced speculating whether gold-medal winning Olympic decathlete Bruce Jenner was undergoing a gender transition from male to female. Though Jenner has yet to publicly confirm the story, members of his extended family, including the Kardashian clan, have recently approached various news outlets  confirming Jenner's intentions.

Now it appears a number of world leaders have picked up on the story and are wondering aloud "What  will happen to Jenner's balls if he completes this transition?" Sources this week quoted Israeli Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu as suggesting it would be a monumental step if Jenner were to donate his balls to U.S. President Barack Obama . Netanyahu stated "Everyone knows Obama has no balls and it would be damned nice if he suddenly had Olympic-sized balls. It would be a huge step forward for world peace.”

German Chancellor Angela Merkel remarked " I don't even have any balls, but everyone tells me I have a bigger set than Obama. I think it would be a great idea for Obama to join our testicular crowd.”

On the other hand, Russian President Vladimir Putin joined Syrian President Bashar Assad in proclaiming that Obama's lack of balls has finally enabled a number of regimes worldwide a fair chance to consolidate their power. Putin, on a shirtless fly-fishing expedition  in Kanchatka, said "The days of U.S. Presidents with big balls like Reagan are over. Now it's our turn.“

Iranian President Hassan Rouhani remarked earlier in the week that "It's been great these last six years. It's like playing soccer against the U.S. with no goalie in their net ”

While world leaders debate the issue, closer to home, New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick and Super Bowl MVP quarterback Tom Brady stepped forward to say they would each donate one ball to President Obama, if Jenner does not come through. Belichick, however, cautioned that "The President would  have to understand, our balls would be under-inflated, but still probably an improvement over whatever he seems to be working with at present."


Randall said...

Today’s narrative is Obama has no balls and doesn’t act while apparently the guy with the broken economy and no shirt is running the world.

Tomorrow’s narrative will be Obama is systematically taking away your 2nd amendment rights and has already cunningly set up the death camps that him and his Muslim friends have been planning since 1961 in Kenya.

Sounds about right...

Anonymous said...

Yes, the President standing up to Israel, one of the potential third rails of American politics, is the one without balls. Right.

gruaud said...

You only have balls if you're embroiling troops in a war somewhere.

“War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength.”

I think conservatives are reading Orwell's 1984 as an instruction manual instead of as a dire warning.

Mike Hawk said...

"that him and his Muslim friends"???? Huh?

TRY: "that HE and his Muslim friends"!!

Darn Randall, did you learn English grammar in those great public schools where you live?

Anonymous said...

@ Mike

Pretty obvious that Randall was channeling the idiots in the tea party. Though I don't think he went far enough. A few spelling mistakes and some misused punctuation would be appropriate.

Anonymous said...

More rightwing male fascination with male genitalia. Can't get enough of male junk apparently.

ferschitz said...

"You only have balls if you're embroiling troops in a war somewhere."

Per gruaud - well, if that's the litmus test, then Obama has "balls" a-plenty, as he's done nothing since becoming Pres but embroil the USA in numerous wars around the Middle East & Africa, not to mention the Ukraine.

I fail to see how Obama isn't standing up to the apparent "hero" of the rightwing, Vlad Putin. Might add that conservatives seem to be very interested in Putin's naked body, as well.

More rightwing lying propaganda, but it does seem as if conservatives have some kind of fascination with male genitals, and especially those of Obama.

Schitzengiggles said...

These idiots can make up their mind if Obama has no balls or is a mastermind dismantling the Constitution and the US in general. In addition to what's already been mentioned, he drops the Executive Order hammer giving R's the big middle finger and they do nothing but whine. Not saying I agree with him or his executive orders but remind me again who has no sack?

The only 'Conservative' response is from Barky the seal and his only retort is to point out a grammatical error which if it was channeling the TP mindset missed the mark just a little but overall good. Randall's channeling got the grammatical error - check, mentioned O coming to take their guns - check, mentioned Muslim and Kenya - check. Forgot to type in CAPS, didn't mention "Benghazi!!", and forgot to close by saying "Wake up sheeple! It's time to take our country back!".

Then there's just the overall fetish these Conservatives have with male anatomy. It's really becoming disturbing.

Schitzengiggles said...

*can't make up their mind*

Randall said...

Heh... Simple grammatical error, but you cannot go back and edit your posts, so I didn't care to correct it.

Of course that is what was focused on in the rebuttal, while the content of my post was ignored. Remind me again what is a
straw man?

Mike Hawk said...

LOL @ Schitzengiggles....Thanks, I needed a good laugh today.! :-)

Mike Hawk said...

I think Randall suffers from a bilateral hydrocele....just sayin'.

Shitzengiggles said...

Sheesh Barky (Mike), again with the fixation on male junk? Obsessing over Obama's junk wasn't enough so now you're paying notice to Randall's nutsack? Seriously man, seek some professional help.

Mike Hawk said...

I need to go to "rehab"? Does Obamacare pay for mental health visits? ;-)

CharlieE said...

A true test of whether Obama has balls would be to see if he'll prosecute the 47 Republican Senators who are siding with Iran against the Obama administration.


I'm sure, were Obama to prosecute, we'd be hearing all kinds of compliments from the Right about how tough this President is, right?

Mike Hawk said...

Obama hasn't even prosecuted any of the war criminals from W's administration....why would he grow balls (or a hydrocele) now?

CharlieE = Moron

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