FW: Fwd: Fw: 1950's version of an E-Mail


Yes, they were the good ole days!

"Scroll down......



Long ago and far away, in a land that time forgot,
Before the days of Dylan , or the dawn of Camelot.
There lived a race of innocents, and they were you and me,

For Ike was in the White House in that land where we were born,
Where navels were for oranges, andPeyton Place was porn.

 We longed for love and romance, and waited for our Prince,
Eddie Fisher married Liz, and no one's seen him since.

We danced to 'Little Darlin,' and sang to 'Stagger Lee'
And cried for Buddy Holly in the Land That Made Me, Me.

Only girls wore earrings then, and 3 was one too many,
And only boys wore flat-top cuts, except for Jean McKinney.

 And only in our wildest dreams did we expect to see
A boy named George with Lipstick, in the Land That Made Me, Me.

 We fell for Frankie Avalon, Annette was oh, so nice,
And when they made a movie, they never made it twice..

 We didn't have a Star Trek Five, or Psycho Two and Three,
Or Rocky-Rambo Twenty in the Land That Made Me, Me.

 Miss Kitty had a heart of gold, and Chester had a limp,
And Reagan was a Democrat whose co-star was a chimp.

 We had a Mr. Wizard, but not a Mr. T,
And Oprah couldn't talk yet, in the Land That Made Me, Me.

 We had our share of heroes, we never thought they'd go,
At least not Bobby Darin, or Marilyn Monroe.
For youth was still eternal, and life was yet to be,
And Elvis was forever in the Land That Made Me, Me.

 We'd never seen the rock band that was Grateful to be Dead,
And Airplanes weren't named Jefferson, and Zeppelins were not Led.

 And Beatles lived in gardens then, and Monkees lived in trees,
Madonna was Mary in the Land That Made Me, Me.

 We'd never heard of microwaves, or telephones in cars,
And babies might be bottle-fed, but they were not grown in jars.

 And pumping iron got wrinkles out, and 'gay' meant fancy-free,
And dorms were never co-Ed in the Land That Made Me, Me.

 We hadn't seen enough of jets to talk about the lag,
And microchips were what was left at the bottom of the bag.

 And hardware was a box of nails, and bytes came from a flea,
And rocket ships were fiction in the Land That Made Me, Me.

 T-Birds came with portholes, and side shows came with freaks,
And bathing suits came big enough to cover both your cheeks.

 And Coke came just in bottles, and skirts below the knee,
And Castro came to power near the Land That Made Me, Me.

 We had no Crest with Fluoride, we had no Hill Street Blues,
We had no patterned pantyhose or Lipton herbal tea
Or prime-time ads for those dysfunctions in the Land That Made Me, Me.

There were no golden arches, no Perrier to chill,
And fish were not called Wanda, and cats were not called Bill

 And middle-aged was 35 and old was forty-three,
And ancient were our parents in the Land That Made Me, Me.

 But all things have a season, or so we've heard them say,
And now instead of Maybelline we swear by Retin-A.
They send us invitations to join AARP,
We've come a long way, baby, from the Land That Made Me, Me.

So now we face a brave new world in slightly larger jeans,
And wonder why they're using smaller print in magazines.
And we tell our children's children of the way it used to be,
Long ago and far away in the Land That Made Me, Me.

If you didn't grow up in the fiftys,
You missed the greatest time in history,
Hope you enjoyed this read as much as I did.
If So, PLEASE FORWARD this note to
Someone who will appreciate these memories... 


M. Ray Crabbinson said...

What kind of person would be happy to live in a time without The Beatles?

charlie said...

Yes, the 1950s were awesome...

...if you were a white male.

If you were black, you couldn't visit any of the businesses shown in this RWF, which, not coincidentally, doesn't depict any people of color.

If you were a female, aged 15-19, you had a 10% chance of becoming pregnant in any given year.

Of course, white or black, you also had a pretty good chance of contracting polio.

The economy was booming, however, thanks to our Republican President and his 91% top tax rate.

Those were the days!

delagar said...

I don't know, this is kind of sweet. I mean, it's not realistic -- it's one of those pieces that insist the past was perfect, which obviously it wasn't (try being gay, or Jewish, or black, in the 1950s, and tell me how wonderful it was), but it's just kind of oblivious, not actively hateful.

So good job, RWD! Baby-steps!

(Also, I agree with the part about Reagan. Though I'm surprised to find RWD does.)

delagar said...

Cross-posted with Charlie!

Good point about the polio. I have a friend who was one of the last people to get polio in Arkansas. She's mostly okay now, but she spent years of her childhood in a ward in Little Rock.

Not to mention measles, mumps, chickenpox, whooping cough...

Mr_Creosote said...

Oh FFS RWD, get a grip.

It's been said that nostalgia is basically "memory lane without the potholes". In connecting all the dots from hearing multi-genrational comments from people as they speak of the past ( vis-a-vis the present ) as well as my own observations seem to bear this adage out.

It's been an ongoing thing since the beginning of humanity, but the grumpy right wing dads, thanks to the proliferation of the 'net and social media, have been hogging the soapbox; giving them the belief that their generation is exceptional.

I'd like to ask this glazed eyed pining for the 50s RWD a question?

What did his own RWD think of the 50s during the 1950s? Probably the same "kids today" harrumphing about how everything's going to hell in a handbasket.

In the past I was fortunate to have some excellent conversations with several free-thinking ( and capable of critical thinking ) aunts and uncles regarding their experiences growing up. Basically, every just lived life the best they could. Their were some nice times and some rotten times. They all say the 50s utopian nostalgia bit popularized by TV and movies was a load of crap.

I digress ( a little bit ) though.

I suspect what RWD really wants is 50s authoritarian cultural norms but with their I-phones, SUVs and big screen TVs to swoon over fox news with.

charlie said...

@Manuel Noriega

You're quibbling. Tax rates were significantly higher in the 1950s than they are now.

When rich people have a choice of putting money into their businesses or paying it in taxes, they invest, and the economy grows.

These days, they just keep it.

delagar said...

"When rich people have a choice of putting money into their businesses or paying it in taxes, they invest, and the economy grows."

Yep. And with our current tax rate -- and all the tax breaks for the hyper-wealthy -- we get what we have today: a vast inequality of wealth, a crumbling infrastructure, and our next generation so far in debt due to student loans and health care costs that they cannot afford to start families, much less businesses.

It's a recipe for a revolution.

Unknown said...

As long as people want a "position" and not a "job", they'll live on the dole and complain about the economy. Then there are those like me who at times worked two parts and held down a full time job and ended up with three pensions. Not bad for someone who worked for a living, never asked for anything, and could only afford bread and potatoes to live on each week. I grew up with nothing but now glad i did. I spent 20 years in Jonesboro and it used to be a great, safe city. Where has the time gone and those safe times. Those who think they are owed
a living has taken it's toll on the city and those who have to take care of them.

Creative Commons License
MyRightWingDad.net is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.