FW: Golfer

Subject: FW: Golfer

Subject: Golfer

A man goes to a public golf course.  He approaches the man behind the counter in the pro shop and says, "I would like 18 holes of golf and a caddie."

The man behind the counter says, "The 18 holes of golf is no problem, but all of the caddies are out on the course.  What I will do for you is this:  We just received 8 brand new robot golf caddies.   If you're willing to take one with you out on the course and come back and tell me how well it works, your round of golf is on me today."

The golfer obviously accepted the man's offer.  He approached the first tee, looked at the fairway and said to himself, "I think my driver will do the job."

The robot caddie turned to the man and said, "No sir.  Use your 3 wood.  A driver is far too much club for this hole."  Hesitantly, the golfer pulled out his 3 wood, made good contact with the ball, and the ball landed about 10 feet to the right front of the hole on the green.

The golfer, delighted, turned to the robot and thanked him for his assistance.  As the golfer pulled out his putter he said, "I think this green is gonna break left to right."  The robot then again spoke up and said, "No sir.  I do believe this green will break right to left."

Thinking about the last time the robot corrected his prediction, he decided again to listen to the machine.  He made his putt and birdied the hole thanks to the robot and his advice  But his luck didn't end there.  His entire game was the best game he ever played, thanks to the assistance of the new robot golf caddie.

Upon returning to the clubhouse, the man behind the counter asked, "How was your game ?"  The golfer stated, "It was, by far, the BEST game I ever played.  Thank you very much for letting me take one of your robots.  See you next week."

A week passed, and excited, the golfer returned to the pro shop.  Upon entering, he turned to the man behind the counter and said, "I would like 18 holes of golf and one of those robot golf caddies, please."

The gentleman from behind the counter turned to the man and said, "Well the 18 holes is no problem. However, we had to get rid of the robots.  We had too many complaints."

"COMPLAINTS?  Who in the heck could've complained about those robots?  They were incredible" The man sighed and said, "Well, it wasn't their performance.  It was that they were made of shiny silver metal, and the sun reflecting off them was blinding to other golfers on the fair way."

The golfer said, "So then why didn't you just paint them black?"

The man nodded sadly and replied, "We did. Four of 'em didn't show up for work, two filed for welfare, one of them robbed the pro shop and the other thinks he's the President ........"


Anonymous said...


ferschitz said...

Remember folks: if you point out that this is disgustingly *racist,* then it's YOU is "really" racist, not the conservatives who think this is a huge laff riot.

Got it?

Marc with a C said...

Hehe. Leave it to conservatives to worry about having too much wood for one hole.

Marc with a C said...

Also: I didn't know Newt was a golfer!

gruaud said...

The Civil Rights Act of 1964 made the Republican party what it is today. All the Confederates migrated to the GOP and the moderate wing of the Republican party has, for all intents and purposes, been purged.

The result has not been pretty.

Hooray4US said...

High five to Marc with a C!

And to gruaud: yes.

Anonymous said...

Well, to be fair, there's truth to every stereotype. Republicans often really are rich, white, racist men who play golf.

Anonymous said...

Aha, I finally get it. The robots are made of precious metal (silver), and despite their success in the short term, they blind investors to potential risks of cyclical gold standard economies, and once it tarnishes (or loses its allure due to a strong economy being bound by debt inflation), the workers end up jobless.

Very subtle. Great story about monetary policy.

Marc with a C said...

Also: one of the caddies became a golf phenom that received millions and millions of dollars in commercial endorsements before a well-publicized domestic dispute turned him from a squeaky-clean American hero into a late-night TV punchline.

CharlieE said...

Here's a better one:

This woman goes to see her doctor, and she says, "Doctor! I was stung by a bee on the golf course!"

And the doctor asks, "Where?"

"Between the first and second holes", she replied.

The doctor thought about it for a minute, and then said, "Ma'am, I think your stance is too wide."

Anonymous said...

As the rare liberal who's also a good golfer, I was kind of hoping that story would go somewhere not disgusting. Nope.

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