Fwd: NEW GOVT JOBS PLAN

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the

economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of

50 years of age and above on early retirement, thus creating jobs and

reducing unemployment.



This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).



Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered

for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).



Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the

SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).



A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as

Congress deems appropriate.



Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for

Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel

Early Severance).



Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or

SCREWED any further by Congress.



Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT

(Special High Intensity Training) as possible.

Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give

our citizens.



Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this

to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you

all the SHIT you can handle.



Sincerely,

The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives

(E.V.I.L.)



PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity,

gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the

End of the Tunnel has been turned off.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Truly tasteless garbage. What POS wrote this, and what kind of idiots actually think this is funny and worth forwarding?

And what's super fucked up about this is that providing for early retirement and supplementing incomes and giving job training to the unemployed are actually GOOD ideas. I'm all for them. If only Congress would actually put more money for these types of things! Just because you give them offensive, tasteless, vulgar "names" doesn't make them bad.

ferschitz said...

Unsurprisingly nasty commentary from the immature assholes who brought you the insightful RATS v. ICAN "joke" below.

This really doesn't make much sense, and given the vulgar & demeaning language does not approach being anything close to humorous. I'm really not even sure what their point is, other than to bandy about scatalogical and sexual terminology & then of course somehow indicate that you'll get AIDS and herpes because... ???

Not worth any time in figuring out, though, because the "light" at the end of the tunnel that's been "turned off" is the light of intelligence in this RWF'er's brain. Their intelligence (if it ever existed) was turned off by too many hours of toxic exposure to RushSeanGlennBillo & the rest of the Fake "Nooz" wankers.

Anonymous said...

Nice.

gruaud said...

Reagan, Bush the Elder, and Bush the Stupid all
combined in a Perfect Storm of fiscal recklessness
to bring this country to its knees.

The GOP doesn't ever tax and spend. Tax and spend
equals living within one's means. Instead, they
borrow and spend, akin to running up massive
credit card debt.

Under Republicans, taxes for the richest 10% are
cut routinely, while the middle class and the poor
are expected to shoulder a higher percentage of
the burden.

Under Republicans, outsourcing jobs to the 3rd
World is essentially slave labor and our own
labor forces are reduced to penury.

Under Republicans, the most basic social services
are gutted, ensuring that your lives become
more difficult; and when you can't stand it
anymore, you'll accept their wonderful alternative:
all services are privatized so that, in addition to
paying taxes, you need to pay for things like
fire departments, police, libraries, etc.

I know this is hard for you teabaggers to
understand, but St. Ronnie and the Bush Family
Evil Empire did all of this to you. And then their
mouthpieces in the media tell you it's the fault
of someone else, not them. And you swallow
that shit like it was ice cream.

Why do you believe the very people who've
been screwing you for the last 30 years?

Bebe 99 said...

Seems bizarre to try to blame this imaginary retirement on something Congress might do. Congresspersons can't fart without approval from corporate America.

Too bad the imaginary folks in this email weren't union. Then they could be retiring at age 55 by choice with a decent income and benefits, while letting a younger person take over their job to start their own career.

Tootseye said...

GAAAAH, Bebe, you sound like a commie!!! Who would ever want to live like THAT????

Seriously, wtf is wrong with these people? Gruaud, ya nailed it on the head. We have all been endlessly ripped off by Republics, and these idiots keep allowing themselves to vote against their own better interest by being mezmerized by stupid stuff like anti-abortion (just don't have) or dreaded gay marriage (don't like gay marriage? then marry someone of the opposite sex).

Sucks. gah

Anonymous said...

Do they really want to plaster the word "rape" everywhere considering some of the behavior toward rape victims from their superstars? Really?

Like Sarah Palin's support of a police chief who argued that rape victims should be billed for their own rape kits. Like Senator Sessions, who sided with companies like Haliburton over victims of gang rape? Really, guys? Really?

Anonymous said...

Interestingly, it's usually the oh-so-horrible left that wants to do stuff like pass laws against age discrimination in the first place.

Anonymous said...

Ha ha! Rape is sure funny!

(/sarcasm, because sadly, some people would say that non-sarcastically)

 
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