MyRightWingDad.net

> > Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
> >
> > BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it
> was time for a
> > change! The chicken wanted change!
> >
> > JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the
> road because he
> > recognized the need to engage in cooperation and
> dialogue with all
> > the chickens on the other side of the road...
> ZZZZZzzzzzzzzz
> > SARAH PALIN: BECAUSE, PRAISE JESUS, I WAS GONNA
> SHOOT HIS SORRY
> > LIBERAL ASS OFF FOR BLOCKING MY VIEW OF RUSSIA!
> >
> > HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally
> helped that
> > little chicken to cross the road. This experience
> makes me uniquely
> > qualified to ensure right from Day One that every
> chicken in this
> > country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road.
> But then,
> > this really isn't about me.
> >
> > GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the
> chicken crossed the
> > road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our
> side of the
> > road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for
> us. There is
> > no middle ground here.
> >
> > DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
> >
> > COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can
> clearly see the
> > satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
> >
> > BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that
> chicken. What is
> > your definition of crossing?
> >
> > AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
> >
> > JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross
> the road, I am
> > now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I
> was misled
> > about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it
> now, and will remain
> > against it.
> >
> > AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need
> some black
> > chickens.
> >
> > DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this
> chicken won't
> > realize that he must first deal with the problem on
> this side of the
> > road before it goes after the problem on the other
> side of the road.
> > What we need to do is help him realize how stupid
> he's acting by not
> > taking on his current problems before adding new
> problems.
> >
> > OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having
> problems, which
> > is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead
> of having the
> > chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which
> is a part of
> > life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that
> he can just drive
> > across the road and not live his life like the rest of
> the chickens.
> >
> > ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there
> is a chicken,
> > but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the
> other side of
> > the road.
> >
> > NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because
> he's guilty! You
> > can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
> >
> > PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent,
> hardworking American.
> >
> > MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way
> that chicken
> > was going. I had a standing order at the Farmers
> Market to sell my
> > eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No
> little bird gave
> > me any insider information.
> >
> > DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross
> it with a
> > toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it
> crossed I've not
> > been told.
> >
> > ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
> >
> > JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't
> you people see the
> > plain truth? That's why they call it the other
> side. Yes, my
> > friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that
> chicken, you will
> > become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until
> we sort out
> > this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes
> with seemingly
> > harmless phrases like the other side. That chicken
> should not be
> > crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as
> that.
> >
> > GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken
> crossed the road.
> > Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and
> that was good
> > enough.
> >
> > BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few
> moments, we will
> > be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time,
> the heart
> > warming story of how it experienced a serious case of
> molting, and
> > went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing
> the road.
> >
> > ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the
> road.
> >
> > JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world
> crossing roads
> > together, in peace.
> >
> > BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which
> will not only
> > cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
> documents, and
> > balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an
> integral part of
> > eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable
> and will never
> > crash.
> >
> > ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the
> road, or did the
> > road move beneath the chicken?
> >
> > COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?