Fwd: Fw: Good Therapy

Good “therapy” for the times we r in!!!!
Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 
     You should have remained a virgin...'
- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered.
But I was not     pleased       to read the description in the catalogue: -
'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman 
     had ever seen.     I have since been visited by her sister, 
and now
   wish to withdraw that statement.
- Mark Twain
The secret of a good sermon is to have 
a good beginning
     and a       good ending;
and to have the two as close together as possible.
- George Burns
Santa Claus has the right idea.    
Visit people only once a year.
- Victor Borge
Be careful about reading health books. 
You may die
   of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife,
you'll become happy;     If you get a bad one, 
you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech.
Every now and then she stops to breathe.
- Jimmy Durante
I have never hated a man enough  
to give his
     diamonds back
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass 
     four essential food groups:
alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
- Alex Levine
My luck is so bad that if I bought 
a cemetery,
     people would stop dying.
- Rodney Dangerfield
Money can't buy you happiness.... 
But it does
     bring you a more pleasant
form of     misery.
- Spike Milligan
Until I was thirteen, 
I thought my name was SHUT UP.
- Joe Namath
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon.
Then it's time for my nap.
- Bob Hope
I never drink water because of 
the disgusting
     things that fish do in it..
- W. C. Fields
We could certainly slow the aging process down
if it had to work its way       through Congress.
- Will Rogers
Don't worry about avoiding temptation.
As you grow older, it will avoid you.
- Winston Churchill
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty ..
But everything else starts to wear     out, 
fall out, or spread out..
- Phyllis Diller
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step,    
he's too old to go     anywhere.
- Billy Crystal
And the cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out.
May your troubles be less, may your blessings be more,
and may nothing but happiness come     through your door.m


Creative Commons License
MyRightWingDad.net is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.