Fwd: Fw: Year 2059 news (lc)

EADLINES FROM THE  YEAR: 2059

Ozone created by  electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest  country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as  California
  
  
White minorities still trying  to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third  language. Spotted Owl  plague threatens northwestern United States crops and  livestock. Baby conceived  naturally! Scientists stumped.    

Couple petitions  court to reinstate heterosexual  marriage.

 

Iran still closed off;  physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before  radioactivity decreases to safe  levels.

  

France pleads for global  help after being taken over by Libya . No other country comes  forward to help the beleaguered  nation!
  
 

Castro finally dies at age 112;  Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea  Clinton has banned all smoking.


 


 
Postal Service raises  price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery  to Wednesdays only. 

85-year $75.8 billion  study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight  loss.

 

Average weight of  Americans drops to 250 lbs. 



Global cooling blamed for citrus  crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and  Floruba.

 

Japanese scientists  have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now  can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

  

Abortion clinics now  available in every High School in United States  .

 

Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR  even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas  stations are only open on Tuesdays and  Fridays.

 
Massachusetts  executes last remaining conservative.

  

Illinois Supreme Court  rules in favor of atheists, makes Illinois 3rd state to be  declared a God free state, all churches must close by December  1.

 

 
New federal law requires  that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up  newspapers must be registered by January  2060.

  

IRS sets lowest tax  rate at 75 percent.

 
Floruba voters still  having trouble with voting machines.

Now, send this to whomever you want  and as many as you want, then, guess what....NOTHING will  happen. No miracles, no money, absolutely nothing, except you  might make someone smile or be very scared.
 





Stop organized crime.  
Re-elect no  one.
 
 

2 comments:

M. Ray Crabbinson said...

These senile old creeps can just die already.

MrGmailAcc007 said...

>Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

man i almost forgot i was fat :(

 
Creative Commons License
MyRightWingDad.net is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.