Fw: Leaked . . . . . . the 2016 Democratic Convention schedule

date:21 November 2015 at 17:04
subject:Fw: Leaked . . . . . . the 2016 Democratic Convention schedule

Subject: Leaked . . . . . . the  2016 Democratic Convention schedule

 

 

 
Breaking News : 2016 Democratic Convention Schedule Leaked
 
11:15 AM – Free Lunch, "medical" marijuana, and bus ride to the Convention. Forms passed out for Food Stamp enrollment.
 
2:30 PM – Group Voter Registration for Undocumented Immigrants
 
4:00 PM – Opening Flag Burning Ceremony – sponsored by CNN
 
4:05 PM – Singing of ”God #$% America “, led by the Righteous Reverend Jeremiah Wright
 
4:10 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to Comrade Obama.
 
4:15 PM – Ceremonial "I Hate America" led by Michelle Obama.
 
4:30 PM – Tips on “How to keep your man trustworthy & true to you while you travel the world” – Hillary Clinton
 
4:45 PM - “How to have a successful career without ever having a job, and still avoid paying taxes!” – Al Sharpton / Jesse Jackson Seminar
 
5:30 PM – Hillary Clinton speaks on "Being broke and not being able to pay your mortgages" via Satellite with event attendees given autographed souvenir photographs of Hillary and Chelsea dodging Sniper Fire in Bosnia.
 
5:45 PM – Tribute to All 57 States – Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi
 
6:00 PM – General vote on praising Baltimore rioters, and on using the term "Alternative Shoppers" instead of "looters"
 
7:30 PM – The White House "Semantics Committee" meeting to figure out how NOT to acknowledge that Muslims are killing non-Muslims all over the world daily. Followed by general vote on now terming Muslim Terror as "Random Acts of Islamic Exuberance"
 
9:00 PM – “Liberal Bias in Media – How we can make it work for you” Tutorial – sponsored by CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, the Washington Post and the New York Times
 
9:15 PM – Tribute Film to the Brave Freedom Fighters still incarcerated at GITMO – Michael Moore
 
9:45 PM – Personal Finance Seminar - "Businesses Don't Create Jobs" - Hillary Clinton
 
10:00 PM – Group Denunciation of Bitter Gun Owners and Bible Readers.
 
10:30 PM – Ceremonial “We Surrender” Waving of the White Flag to Afghanistan, Russia and ISIS.
 
11:00 PM – Short film, "Setting Up Your Own Illegal Email Server While Serving in A Cabinet Post, and How to Pretend it's No Big Deal", hosted by Hillary Clinton
 
11:30 PM – "ISIS is not actually Islamic, Despite it's Name" seminar, led by "Sneaky Joe" Biden.
 
12:00 AM – Official Nomination of Hillary by Bill Maher and Chris “He sends a thrill up my leg” Matthews
 
12:01 AM – Hillary Accepts Nomination as Lord and Savior while the Celestial Choirs Sing.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

All false, projected talking points.

But the GOP is so diseased with cancer now, that facts no longer matter, only the narrative does. They literally think 'Leave it to Beaver' was a documentary.

Anonymous said...

Be that as it may, the RNC convention will be 8 straight hours of pummeling minorities and anyone else who speaks out against Trump.

CharlieE said...

The Republican convention would only have three sessions:

9:00 AM - Paul Ryan speaks on writing legislation that hurts the greatest number of people with a single bill.

1:00 PM - Ted Cruz speaks about how rich people can reincorporate in Ireland to avoid paying any U.S. taxes.

4:00 PM - Rush Limbaugh speaks on effectively using the media to persuade the public that the media is actually liberal.

Mr_Creosote said...

Who wrote this? A petulant 8 year old?

Anonymous said...

I love how they think Bill Maher would be a speaker at the DNC.

Mike Hawk said...

Mike Hawk wrote it. You got a problem with me?

Mike Hawk ;-)

Anonymous said...

@Mike,

You're not even a good liar. If you posted that, you plagiarized it from somewhere. Now...fuck off pretty please.

Anonymous said...

Winky emoticon? That is so adorable.

For someone who professes to hate gays, you could not be more twee.

ferschitz said...

This is dumb on many levels, but I did have a good laugh at the idea of 2 TV "personalities" nominating HRC. Only RWD could come up with that notion as part of DNC playbook. Talk about projection. RWD gets his daily/hourly marching orders and rightwing talking points from Hate Radio & Fox, and it's the righwingnut welfare pundits who call the shots and basically tell the GOP what to do and who to nominate. For all it's many huge faults, the Democratic party does not operate this way, albeit they're more than happy to be run behind the scenes by the Oligarchs and Wall ST. But TV pundits? Not so much.

So far, it's on a fecking fascist like Donald Trump who gets away with not doing what Roger Ailes and Rush tell him to do. The rest all fall in line.

1. Bill Maher is a giant tedious boring jerk, who's totally unfunny. That said, he's also a freakin LIBERTARIAN, RWD. Oh yeah, right, that starts with the letter "L" and so does Leftwing, so I guess that's how you got so confused. I don't think Maher likes Clinton at all, but I'm not sure, as I avoid ever having to witness his ugly dull mug on YouTube or wherever.

2. Tweety Matthews only gets tingles down his leg for rightwingers mainly, and most especially for Zombie Reagan and Zombie Tip O'Neill. I don't own a tv, so I have no clue what Tweety gets excited about these days. I heard him about a year ago give a "lecture" somewhere, and he basically stated that he thought the race would be Bush v Clinton, and he could wait to see them duke it out. That was Tweety's big thing: witness Bush v Clinton AGAIN and think it's immensely "exciting." I didn't get the feeling that he was particularly thrilled or in favor of Clinton... just thought the "fight" was inevitable for both Bush and Clinton. Guess Tweety's a bit disappointed with JEB! being even a bigger dullard that his dumb bro. Who'da thunk it, when we've all be adjured that JEB! was the "smart" one.

The whole thing looks like it was written by a 5th grader, but that's bc rightwing think tanks know the intellectual level of their marks, er, rubes, er base.

 
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