THE DONALD’S FIRST DAY IN OFFICE
1. President Donald Trump and Vice President Marco
Rubio are sworn into office.
2. In a rare event on inauguration day, Congress
convenes for an emergency meeting to repeal the
illegal and unconstitutional Socialist healthcare
farce known as Obamacare. The new Director of
Health and Social Services Dr. Ben Carson announces
that an independent group of healthcare management
professionals is hired to handle healthcare services
for poor and low income people. They are also
assigned the duty of eliminating Medicare and
Medicaid fraud. Government’s costs for public
healthcare are reduced by 90%. Healthcare
insurance premiums for working Americans are
reduced by 50%. The move saves billions of
taxpayer paid dollars. Healthcare service in
the U.S improves 100%.
3. Newly appointed Department of Homeland
Security Chief Ted Cruz announces the immediate
deployment of troops to the U.S. Mexico border
to control illegal immigration and the immediate
deportation of illegal's with criminal records or
links to terrorist groups. New bio-encrypted Social
Security IDs are required by every American citizen.
Birthright is abolished. All immigration from countries
that represent a threat to the safety of American
citizens is terminated indefinitely. The move saves
American taxpayers billions of dollars. Several
prisons are closed.
4. Newly appointed Secretary of Business and
Economic Development Carly Fiorina eliminates
more than half of the Government agencies
operating under the Obama administration
saving taxpayers billions of dollars. Stocks rise
100%.
5. Newly appointed Director of Government
Finance Rand Paul announces the abolition of
the IRS and displays a copy of the new Federal
Tax Return form. It consists of one page. The
instructions consist of two pages. The Federal
Reserve is audited. The move saves American
Taxpayers billions of dollars and increases tax
revenue.
6. Hillary Clinton is in prison, where she belongs.
Her cell is directly across from Jesse Jackson and
Al Sharpton who are serving time for "Hate
Crimes". She bitches at them constantly from
behind the bars of her cell in what some call cruel
and unusual punishment.
7. Bernie Sanders is in the nuthouse, where he
belongs. His room is directly across from Nancy
Pelosi, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, Chris Matthews
and Al Franken. They meet for tea every day at
10 AM and discuss the success and benefits
of Communism and Socialism throughout the world.
They also wonder when the "Mothership" is going
to pick them up and return them to their home planets.
8. Windows 12 is released. It is designed for humans,
doesn’t try to satisfy the needs of every person on
the planet, doesn’t require a degree in nuclear
physics to operate and looks just like Windows 7
except it is easier to use.
9. Barack Obama flees the United States under
cover of darkness and returns to his homeland
of Kenya before his trial for treason begins. He
deplanes on a remote jungle airstrip. It was reported
that he was last seen wandering through the jungle
singing “Hakuna Matata” with a chimp named Commie.
10. A committee is not established to determine
what is causing global cooling. Billions of taxpayer
dollars are saved.
11. Dead people are no longer allowed to vote in
Chicago, a huge blow for the Democrat Party in the
State of Illinois on election days.
Posts
11 comments:
I've seen like five iterations of this one (usually entitled 'My Perfect Day'), last one was president Rubio, now it's Drumpf.
And while it's ostensibly a joke, the wish-list is an illuminating bucket of nonsense. This is your idea of utopia? Jesus, why stop there?
If you have to remind people that it's a "joke", it's probably not a very good joke.
I could write multiple paragraphs about this, but I'll just settle on one point:
How is reducing fraud in Medicare and Medicaid going to cause insurance premiums for working Americans to drop by half?
The two aren't related in any way.
Bonus: There's no way Republicans would ever agree to close prisons. Prisons are business.
So eh whut? Trump and his VeePee Rubotio (??) are gonna invent Windows 12? And it's gonna be easier for the rubes, er, dumbfecks, er GOP voters to use?
Wowzer. Well that 'splains some of the stupitude of this whole ridiculous mess.
And hey, if you think that Carly Fiorina, who laid waste to two very profitable companies and off-shored tens of thousands of good paying US worker jobs, is somehow going to make things "better" for low educated white males while also magically causing "stocks to rise".. well boy howdy do I have a bridge to sell YOU!
This just illustrates the cloud cuckoo fairytale land these dullwits have been heavily propagandized to live in.
The one point is correct, the whole think is a big joke....
Max
*thing
Well well, it seems like a lot of big wigs in the GOP don't agree with you rubes, who've been fleeced to death and lied to incessantly by your party leaders.
I see that Bishop Mittbot RMoney was wheeled out today to larn you 47%er lazy lucky duckies on how you should vote, and it ain't for your big old bully-boy racist hero, Donald Trump.
Guess RMoney, amongst many other Oligarchs, aren't in tune with your viewpoints, RWD. How 'bout that! How 'bout that! mmm mmm mmm
pass the popcorn.
I think one of my "perfect" days is today! Watching RMoney lecturing the lucky ducky lazy 47% that they shalt not vote for their golden calf idol, Donald Trump!
Schadenfreude!
Eh? Guess all of us "liberal weenies" were right along, RWD, and don't say we didn't warn you endlessly. Your rightwing Overlords are not amused, and I daresay, they might try to take away all your toys and fantasies.
No the Donald for you yuuuge losers!
@ferschitz
The highlight of my day, for sheer amusement value alone, was watching Mitt's highly-praised speech instantly dismissed with the wave of Trump's hand when he reminded all of us that Mitt Romney is a loser.
It's been pretty obvious for some time that Trump is single-handedly destroying the Republican Party. It's a lot of fun watching them shoot themselves in the feet, repeatedly, as they try to undo that.
So yesterday, they trotted out Mitt Romney to "fix" things, which he did, by providing the Democrats with 18 minutes of anti-Trump soundbites.
The next few months are going to be a riot. Pass the popcorn.
The best Trump comment was that essentially RMoney was ready to fellate Trump in 2012 to get Trump's endorsement. Yes, Trump is truly vulgar, but his vulgarity couldn't have been aimed at a more deserving job-destroying serial liar hater of the lousy lazy lucky duckies in the 47% Little Lord Mittens RMoney.
I've gone long on popcorn futures!
Too bad, so sad, RWD, don't say we didn't warn you. Loser!
Sooooooo ferschitz, are you already "crowning" Queen Manatee Legs Clinton in the November general election?
Watch out for M. Bloomberg....ha ha ha
Mike Hawk
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