MyRightWingDad.net

WHY WE SPEAK ENGLISH IN AMERICA A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of officers that included personnel from most of the countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English. He then asked "Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?" Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied "Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German." You could have heard a pin drop.

Machine, you can notify the police by entering your Pin # in
reverse.

For example if your pin number is 1234 then you would put in
4321. The

ATM recognizes that your pin number is backwards from the ATM
card you

Placed in the machine.

The machine will still give you the money you requested, but
unknown to

The robber, the police will be immediately dispatched to help you.


This information was recently broadcast on FOX TV and it states
that it

Is seldom used because people don't know it exists.


Please pass this along to everyone possible.

The Media Missed this one!!!!

and other Hollywood types?
make front page news with their anti-everything
America trash and Denzel Washington's Patriotism
doesn't even make page 3 in the Metro section of
any newspaper except the Local newspaper in San
Antonio.






A true American and friend to all in uniform!


This needs as wide a distribution as we can

-----Begin Forwarded Message-----

No beef for me anymore at McDonalds!

A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in
the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation
was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the
dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words
while they waited.

"I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I
heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very
first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a
television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his
way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his
employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and
gave VD to his sister. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew
that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine
parish full of good and loving people.".....

Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of
apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation
and gave his talk. "I'll never forget the first day our parish priest
arrived,"
said the politician. "In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to
go to him in confession."

Moral: Don't ever be late

[What does Jesus and war vets have to do with a call center? Read on, brother. Here is a remake of a long-time personal favorite. I just received this updated version, the old one posted last May. Someone changed the pictures.. This feels more dramatic. ]

-----Begin Forwarded Message----

Do you know, how to catch wild pigs?

There was a chemistry professor in a large college that had some exchange students in the class. One day while the class was in the lab the Prof. noticed one young man (an exchange student) who kept rubbing his back and stretching as if his back hurt.

The professor asked the young man what was the matter. The student told him he had a bullet lodged
in his back. He had been shot while fighting
communists in his native country who were trying to
overthrow his country's government and install a new communist government.

In the midst of his story he looked at the professor and asked a strange question. He asked, "Do you know
how to catch wild pigs?"

The professor thought it was a joke and asked for the punch line. The young man said this was no joke. "You catch wild pigs by finding a suitable place in the woods and putting corn on the ground. The pigs find it and begin to come everyday to eat the free corn. When they are used to coming every day, you put a fence down one side of the place where they are used to coming. When they get used to the fence, they begin to eat the corn again and you put up another side of the fence. They get used to that and start to eat again. You continue until you have all four sides of the fence up with a gate in the last side. The pigs, who are used to the free corn, start to come through the gate to eat, you slam the gate on them and catch the whole herd.

Suddenly the wild pigs have lost their freedom. They run around and around inside the fence, but they are caught. Soon they go back to eating the free corn. They are so used to it that they have forgotten how to forage in the woods for themselves, so they accept
their captivity.

The young man then told the professor that is exactly what he sees happening to America. The government keeps pushing us toward Communism/Socialism and keeps spreading the free corn out in the form of
programs such as supplemental income, tax credit for unearned income, tobacco subsidies, dairy subsidies, payments not to plant crops (CRP), welfare, medicine, drugs, etc. while we continually lose our freedoms-
just a little at a time.

One should always remember "There is no such thing
as a free Lunch!" Also, "You can never hire someone to provide a service for you cheaper than you can do it yourself."

Also, if you see that all of this wonderful government "help" is a problem confronting the future of democracy in America, you might want to send this on to your friends. If you think the free ride is essential to your way of life then you will probably delete this email, but God help you when the gate slams shut!

Subject: FW: INCONVENIENCES

[>
>
> > FINALLY, SOMEONE HAS CLEARED THIS UP FOR ME....
> >
> > For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads. Most of us
> > have naively thought this was connected with marriage or religion, but the
> > Indian Embassy in Washington, D.C. has recently revealed the true story.
> >
> > When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union. On her
> > Wedding night, the husband scratches off the dot to see whether he has won
> > a
> > taxi cab, a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop, or a motel in
> > the United States.
> >
> > If nothing is there, he must take a job in India answering telephones
> > giving technical advice.
> >
> >
> >
>

Tresy sent us this one. Reading it, I have to wonder if the girl at Burger King was really brought to tears by the sight of a crotchety, condescending, lonely right-winger barking at her.

Said Tresy, "Don't know if you have this one yet or not. Har dee fucking har har."

Begin forwarded message:

Math 1950-2006

Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried.

Why do I tell you this?
Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s:
1. Teaching Math In 1950

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of productio n is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

2. Teaching Math In 1960

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

3. Teaching Math In 1970

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?

4. Teaching Math In 1980

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
5. Teaching Math In 1990

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares no thing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of$20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers )
6. Teaching Math In 2006

Un hachero vende una carretada de madera por $100. El costo de la pr oducciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?

I grew tired of the dark background. Hope you like the ease-of-reading this white template provides. What was that? You don't like the new changes? Listen you spoiled brat, I'm gonna KICK YOUR ASS! until you shut up and be quiet you whiny liberal sheep!

Heh heh..but really, what do you think? Any suggestions?

Thanks for your contributions and comments to the archive. I didn't think anyone would find right-wing'ed forwards this interesting. Hopefully this new lay-out will simplify our exploration into this mystifying world of the right.

-Mike

Thanks Adam. A pee test for welfare checks? Huh.

"My idiot friend sent this to me. (sigh) "

----Begin Forwarded Message----



Subject: PEE TEST

Like a lot of folks in this country, I have a job. I work, they pay me.
I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as they see
fit. In order to get that paycheck.. I am required to pass a
random urine test, which I have no problem with.

What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people
who don't have to pass a urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine
test to get a welfare check, because I have to pass one to earn
it for them?

Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on
their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping
someone sit on their ass.


Could you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to
pass a urine test to get a public assistance check?

ADIOS AMIGOS

Do you remember when Puerto Rico was raising heck about the US Navy using that nothing little island just off the coast of Puerto Rico for bombing practices, which they had used for the past 75 years?

Demonstrations were held, Hollywood left wingers, Al Sharpton, and his fellow demagogues went down there to demonstrate to get the Navy out?

I am sure it infuriated you just as it did me at the time. Well, here is our revenge.

Always be careful what you ask for, you just may get it!

One of the many headaches that the U. S. has had was the Puerto Rican Island of Vieques. In the waning years of the Clinton Administration protesters demanded that the US Navy abandon bombing and naval gunfire exercises that had taken place on the largely uninhabited island for nearly seventy years.

Liberal icons bumped into one another to fly to Puerto Rico, boat over to the island, trespass (but never on a day that there was an exercise scheduled) and get arrested for the benefit of the New York Times or Newsweek. They included the Reverend Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Joan Baez, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., Edward Olmos, Michael Moore and Ramsey Clark, just to name a few.

In 2002, the bombing exercises were transferred to an Air Force bombing range in central Florida, not far from the Jacksonville and Pensacola Naval Air Stations. In January, many of the protesters were back in Puerto Rico, celebrating the final bombing exercise on Vieques and waved Puerto Rican flags and placards that read "U. S. Navy, get out of Puerto Rico."

The following February, Rumsfeld announced that the U. S. Navy will close the Roosevelt Roads Naval Air Station in Puerto Rico in 2004, eliminating 1200 civilian jobs as well as 700 military positions. This naval facility is estimated to have put nearly $300 million annually into the local economy.

The next day a stunned Governor Sila Calderon held a news conference in San Juan, protesting the base closure as a serious blow to the Commonwealth's fragile economy. The governor stated that "The people of Puerto Rico don't now or never did have an interest in closing the Vieques bombing range or the Roosevelt Roads naval base. We are interested in both staying in Puerto Rico"

When asked, the Commander-in Chief, Western Atlantic Command, said, "Without Vieques, I see no further need for the facility at Roosevelt Roads. None."

So, Yankee go home? Fine. But we'll take our dollars with us. Hasta la vista, baby!

On February 21, the Secretary of Defense also announced that starting this year, the U. S. European Command would begin moving most, if not all, of its active combat and support units from bases in Germany to others being established in Poland, The Czech Republic, Hungary and Turkey to "better position them for rapid deployment to likely hot spots in those parts of the world."

Immediately the business and government leaders in the German states of Hesse, Rhineland and Wurttemburg, protested the loss of nearly $6 billion US revenue each year from the bases and manpower to be displaced. A spokesman for the Foreign Ministry speculated that the move may be "what the Americans call 'payback' for the actions of this government in opposing Military action in Iraq ".

"Does anyone know the German translation for: "Hasta la vista, baby?" I think "Aufwiedersehen, l! inesmen" is a good translation.

Oh, isn't it nice to see a government with guts and a good memory.

Also, here are some statistics and conclusions about a different subject. If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theatre of operations during the last 22 months, and a total of 2,112 deaths, (when this was written) that gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000 soldiers.

The firearm death rate in Washington D.C. is 80.6 per 100,000 for the same period.

That means that you are about 25% more likely to be shot and killed in the U. S. Capitol, which has some of the strictest gun control laws in the nation, than you are in Iraq .

Conclusion:

The U. S. should pull out of Washington!!!!

PASS THIS ON and ON 'cuz CNN won't!