Fwd: FW: My next door neighbor

Your laugh for the day!!!!
Subject: Fwd: Fw: My next door neighbor

My next door neighbor--------

I woke up to go to the toilet in the middle of the night and I noticed a Muslim,
sneaking through my next door neighbor's garden.

Suddenly my neighbor came from nowhere and smacked him over the head
with a shovel, killing him instantly.

He then dug a grave and put the body in it and covered it.

Astonished I got back into bed.

Karla, my lovely wife said, "Bobby, what is it?

"You'll never believe what I've just seen," I said, "that son of a
bitch next door still has my shovel."

I built a Snowman

It's been snowing here all night.  So my morning goes like this: 
 
8:00  I built a Snowman.
 
8:10  A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a Snowwoman.
 
8:15  So, I made a Snowwoman.
 
8:17  The nanny of the neighbors complained about the Snowwoman's voluptuous chest.
 
8:20  The gay couple living nearby grumbled that it could have been two Snowmen instead.
 
8:25  The local vegans complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and are not to be used for decorating snow figures.
 
8:28  I am being called a racist because the Snow couple is white.
 
8:31  The Muslim gent across the road wants the Snowwoman to wear a head-scarf.
 
8:40  Someone calls the cops who show up to see what's going on.
 
8:42  I am told that the broomstick of the Snowman needs to be removed because it could be used as a deadly weapon.  Things get worse after I mutter; "Yeah, if I shove it up your a**."
 
8:45  Local TV news crew shows up.  I am asked if I know the difference between Snowmen and Snowwomen?  I reply; "Snowballs" and I’m called a sexist.
 
8:52  My phone is seized and thoroughly checked, while I am being blindfolded and flown to the police station in a helicopter.
 
9:00  I'm on the news as a suspected terrorist bent on stirring up trouble during this difficult weather.
 
9:10  I am asked if I have any accomplices.
 
9:29  A little known Jihadist group has claimed it was their plot.
 
Moral:  There is no moral to this story.  It's just the America we live in today!

Fwd: FW: Awesome poster

Subject: Awesome poster


"NO FIREARM PULLS ITS OWN TRIGGER.!"
Every so often, an email says it best.! 

 
And here we have the perfect poster that should be on billboards on every road leading into New York, Washington, DC, Chicago, San Francisco, LA and Hollywood.! .


 

What an awesome poster… please pass it on.!

Fwd: FW: Rifle Co.

Subject: Rifle Co.

Fwd: FW: Got My Permit

GOT MY CONCEALED GUN PERMIT YESTERDAY...

....and went over to the local Bass Pro Shop to get a small 9mm for home protection.   

When I was ready to pay for the gun and bullets, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed.  

When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader!!! 
I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future. 
They need to make their instructions to seniors a little clearer.  
I still don't think I looked that bad.

Fwd: FW: ABSOLUTE TRUTHS

 ABSOLUTE TRUTHS 



















Fwd: FW: Pinup Paintings

Pinup Paintings Side-By-Side with the Photos that Inspired them.





Fwd: FW: CHARLOTTE STADIUM PREPARATIONS

Charlotte, NC is remodeling their stadium, which includes installing a retractable roof, for the 2016 Democratic National Convention and Obama’s farewell speech.


Fwd: FW: 3rd world space program?

Subject: FW: 3rd world space program?


This is one very cool rocket.  Evidently the people in Thailand or Laos have been doing this stuff for hundreds of years.  I love it when they light it and run like hell!!


FW: Has Minn. gone completely nuts ? ? ?


Subject: Has Minn. gone completely nuts ? ? ?

From a friend in Minnesota. If this is true we should all sign up for the same J



While we've been sleeping, the country has been dying a slow death.  Check out the last dollar amount.  We've been paying into the SS system for around 40 years and these jokers get what I get in a monthly amount of $2200. and for what?  Then, they get all the other goodies plus they get to take over the country.  Piss you off?  Panama looks better and better every day.











Tell me how do you fight this insanity?  WE are doomed period!!

If this doesn't make your "red, white and blue" blood boil, I don't know what will!





               . <http://toprightnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/somalis.jpg> http://toprightnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/somalis.jpg

Above: Somali “refugees” on lifetime welfare demand their free food adhere to Islamic Law

By Jason DeWitt



Whoever said “beggars can’t be choosers” never met Somali Muslim refugees in Minnesota. These Muslim imports in Minneapolis are now  <http://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2014/09/15/somali-group-pushes-for-non-pork-food-shelf/> demanding a tax-funded “halal” non-pork food shelf at a free food pantry for the poor.



As if it’s not bad enough that  <http://www.foxnews.com/world/2014/06/22/somali-americans-leave-homes-friends-in-minnesota-to-fight-alongside-isis/> nearly all the “American” Muslims who have joined ISIS have been Somalis from Minneapolis, their relatives here are demanding that Americans adhere to the same Sharia Laws the Islamic State fighters are trying to impose throughout the Middle East.

A group of first-generation Somali Americans says they need help in developing a food shelf that specializes in healthy foods that do not contain pork or pork byproducts. “It’s about human rights also, basic human rights to get the proper food and also healthy food,” said Imam Hassan Mohamud.

“Human rights”? Seriously? Their arrogance and self-entitlement has to be unprecedented for a group on the public dole.



Tens of thousands of Somalis settled in Minneapolis/St. Paul after Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and later Barack Obama imported them and funded massive “refugee” centers there. Welfare, schools, hospitals and social services have been crushed by the burden of immigrants who lack the most basic skills to live in a modern society.



This is hardly the first demands Somalis have made on the good people of Minneapolis. When the influx of Somali thugs naturally resulted in a massive increase in crime a decade ago,  <http://refugeeresettlementwatch.wordpress.com/2009/09/02/minneapolis-somalis-give-us-a-48-million-youth-center-and-we-will-stay-out-of-trouble/> Somalis demanded a $48 million Sharia-compliant “youth center” to keep Somali gangs “out of trouble”.



We have read for several years now how Muslim cab drivers in Minneapolis and several airports have  <http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/12/12/blind-man-files-complaint-after-he-says-muslim-cabbies-repeatedly-refused-service-to-him-and-his-guide-dog/> kicked out blind passengers with guide dogs ( <http://www.islam-watch.org/authors/65-khan/971-hatred-of-dogs-in-islam-did-muhammad-played-lord-over-allah.html> dogs are “unclean” in Islam), or customers transporting  <http://abcnews.go.com/International/story?id=2827800> alcohol. They came here, taking advantage of American generosity, and returned it by enforcing their own brand of Sharia Law upon us.



Liberals in Minnesota have bent over backwards for them, setting up foot-washing basins in their airport and even at a  <http://www.foxnews.com/story/2007/04/13/public-minnesota-college-to-install-foot-washing-basins-for-muslim-students/> university, in response to their demands.



But as with most appeasement, these refugees keep making more demands. Now it is for “halal” products (meat slaughtered with Islamic prayers and a ban on pork).



The Imam leading this protest actually claimed that there were beans with pork in it and this was a “literacy” issue that required more government funding andspecial halal-compliant beans. But one commenter on the article from Minneapolis wrote:

As someone who made use of the foodshelf recently, I can tell you that most of the food doesn’t contain pork. I hear what they are saying about a literacy issue, but can’t the food shelf people just point out the cans of pork and beans? Besides, the food shelf is based on donations!



This is not about Muslims “making do” or getting help on what to eat. The Koran demands that Muslim make any country they live in adapt to them and Sharia Law. The last thing they plan to do is assimilate.



One blogger added:

How long until they demand separate entrances to the food pantry for men and women and separate entrances for Muslims who don’t want to see any Christmas or holiday food or decorations?



The state of Maine has also been crushed by Somalis that Obama has forced upon them. The Governor of Maine, Paul LePage has valiantly been trying to  <http://www.frontpagemag.com/2013/dgreenfield/maine-struggles-to-cut-off-welfare-for-somali-migrants/> cut off cash aid to Somalis – nearly all of whom are on welfare – since Obama has purposely dumped thousands of them in Lewiston and Portland.



America got  <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Hawk_Down_%28film%29> Black Hawk Down and 18 dead Americans. Somalis got 90,000+ “asylum” slots in America, free housing, Sharia-compliant facilities, and a lifetime of welfare. How do you

Say “chumps” in Somali?



Each refugee already has access to the following:



Temporary assistance for Needy Families

Medicaid
Food Stamps

Supplemental "Security" Income
Social Security Disability Insurance

Administrative Developmental Disabilities (ADD)

Child Care and Development Fund

Independent Living Program
Low Income Housing Energy Assistance

Postsecondary Education Grants

Refugee Assistance Program

Title IV Foster Care

Title XX Social Services Block Grant Fund



And from our lovely State Department...$2200 per month

For every man, woman and child.

 
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