Fwd: Fw: Good Therapy



Good “therapy” for the times we r in!!!!
 
 
Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 
'Lillian,     You should have remained a virgin...'
- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
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I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered.
But I was not     pleased       to read the description in the catalogue: -
'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'
- Eleanor Roosevelt
 
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Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman 
I     had ever seen.     I have since been visited by her sister, 
and now   wish to withdraw that statement.
- Mark Twain
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The secret of a good sermon is to have 
a good beginning     and a       good ending;
and to have the two as close together as possible.
- George Burns
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Santa Claus has the right idea.    
Visit people only once a year.
- Victor Borge
  ><>
Be careful about reading health books. 
You may die   of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
  ><>
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife,
you'll become happy;     If you get a bad one, 
you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
   ><>
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech.
Every now and then she stops to breathe.
- Jimmy Durante
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I have never hated a man enough  
to give his     diamonds back
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
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Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass 
all     four essential food groups:
alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
- Alex Levine
  ><>
My luck is so bad that if I bought 
a cemetery,     people would stop dying.
- Rodney Dangerfield
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Money can't buy you happiness.... 
But it does     bring you a more pleasant
form of     misery.
- Spike Milligan
  ><>
Until I was thirteen, 
I thought my name was SHUT UP.
- Joe Namath
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I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon.
Then it's time for my nap.
- Bob Hope
  ><>
I never drink water because of 
the disgusting     things that fish do in it..
- W. C. Fields
 
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We could certainly slow the aging process down
if it had to work its way       through Congress.
- Will Rogers
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Don't worry about avoiding temptation.
As you grow older, it will avoid you.
- Winston Churchill
  ><>
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty ..
But everything else starts to wear     out, 
fall out, or spread out..
- Phyllis Diller
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By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step,    
he's too old to go     anywhere.
- Billy Crystal
<><>  
And the cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out.
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
May your troubles be less, may your blessings be more,
and may nothing but happiness come     through your door.m

5/14/2020 03:30:00 AM | Key Words: , |

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