EADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2059
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language. Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock. Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped. Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage. Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. France pleads for global help after being taken over by Libya . No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation! Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. Â Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only. 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss. Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs. Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba. Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States . Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Illinois Supreme Court rules in favor of atheists, makes Illinois 3rd state to be declared a God free state, all churches must close by December 1.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2060.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.
Now, send this to whomever you want and as many as you want, then, guess what....NOTHING will happen. No miracles, no money, absolutely nothing, except you might make someone smile or be very scared. Stop organized crime. Re-elect no one. |
Fwd: Fw: Year 2059 news (lc)
4/12/2018 03:30:00 AM
|
Key Words:
ABORTION,
ALASKAN OIL DRILLING,
ATHEIST,
CALIFORNIA,
Chelsea Clinton,
CONSERVATIVE,
Cuba,
ENVIROMENTALISM,
FLORIDA,
FRANCE,
GAY,
GLOBAL WARMING,
GUN CONTROL,
IRAN,
JAPAN,
MASSACHUSETTS,
MEXICO,
TAXES,
WOMAN
|
This entry was posted on 4/12/2018 03:30:00 AM
and is filed under
ABORTION
,
ALASKAN OIL DRILLING
,
ATHEIST
,
CALIFORNIA
,
Chelsea Clinton
,
CONSERVATIVE
,
Cuba
,
ENVIROMENTALISM
,
FLORIDA
,
FRANCE
,
GAY
,
GLOBAL WARMING
,
GUN CONTROL
,
IRAN
,
JAPAN
,
MASSACHUSETTS
,
MEXICO
,
TAXES
,
WOMAN
.
You can follow any responses to this entry through
the RSS 2.0 feed.
You can leave a response,
or trackback from your own site.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
2 comments:
These senile old creeps can just die already.
>Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
man i almost forgot i was fat :(
Post a Comment